201. My cat killed my dog which ate my
homework, then flushed him down the toilet.
202. Excuse me for not doing my
homework, its cause you ASKED me to do it, you didn't TELL me to do
it so I thought it was optional.
203. I didn't come to school today
because my dog was depressed......... he told me if I left he would
hang his self by his under pants.
204. Here's an excuse that only
someone who ran out of excuses would use:
My son (daughter), (student name) could not attend school yesterday
because he/she is grounded to their room for not taking out the
trash for a month. Not only this, but the trash has piled so high
that I cannot get out of my back door. (Student Name) will be able
to attend school again as soon as he cleans up the trans and serves
his punishment. Expect to see him back in school within a month of
the date of this note. Thank You
205. I am very sorry Jimmy could not
attend school today. I had SPECIFICALLY pointed out that the pills
were for me and for me only, but he went ahead because I was
"hogging the candy."
206. My cat threw up on my homework!
207. "It was raining yesterday
afternoon and my homework got torn up in the rain."
208. If you feel like bludging a day
of school, I often find that, if you've got an electric blanket on
your bed, if you lie with your head tightly under the pillow for
about ten minutes you give yourself a realistic temperature and then
all that remains is delirious and coughing symptoms to be faked.
209. When I couldn't be bothered to do
an essay that was due the next day, I told my English teacher that
my printer had run out of ink, hence the essay which was all
completed on the computer couldn't be printed until we got another
cartridge ( If you're a perfectionist liar like me, I actually wrote
about eight lines of the essay and used Word art in Microsoft Word
to color each line a lighter shade of gray to the last one, then
printed that on my printer, which incidentally had loads of ink and
handed it in with the excuse) PS: Any plausible excuse at all seems
to work if you say it with a despondent face.
210. My homework was done, and I
didn't want to forget it, so I put it in my backpack. Turns out, my
mom washed it.
211. My neighbor actually wrote this
to her daughter's high school, which after reading it, sure seems
like a good reason to not go to school.
Trista was having bad crapping on Wednesday the 14th. Thank You,
212. I actually e-mailed this to my
teachers. I had been making statements of having "troubles" right
before sending this in. I'm really sorry I'm absent! I've been
trying to sort my life out, since my family is really
dysfunctional. I'm telling you this because my psychiatrist thinks
it will help me get over my problems. I've admitted that my life is
messed up but telling others is a "step closer to recovery". I'll
try to make all my work up ASAP, though my counselor tells me to
take a break. I've started a Diary though. Because it is supposed
to help me. It actually works too! Anyway, against my doctors
recommendation I will be in school tomorrow!
213. I was late to class because it
was foggy this morning and I couldn't find my way to school.
214. This happened to a friend of
mine, and he managed to use this excuse too: While I was walking to
school, my shoes fell apart. I went back home to see if I had any
more. I didn't and my mom wouldn't let me leave the house without
215. THIS REALLY WORKS! (but only if
it is raining in the morning) Say that you missed your
train/tram/bus, and since you didn't want to be late for school, you
ran in the rain. Of course, you say, the downside is that you had
to use your bag to cover your head, (not having an umbrella with
you) which resulted in everything in it being drenched. Including
your homework. Show the teacher the 'homework' (which can be
anything really) that is completely sodden. You should probably
soak the paper in the sink before leaving your house, since, unless
your state is in the midst of a flash flood, there is no way your
homework will be as soaked as you need it to be. Strangely, no
teacher has ever asked me HOW my paper got so wet, and I've used
this excuse around twenty times on various teachers!
216. I really wanted to get my
homework done, but my mother said I need to get more rest at night.
217. To get out of PE one lesson, I
told the teacher I'd forgotten my kit. I'll have to try and think
up another excuse next time, as I ended up doing PE in my bra and
218. I used this and it really works,
but you have to do this after a stormy night. Mr./Mrs. (teachers
name) last night was a real bad night for me to finish my project.
You know it was real stormy and rainy. Well, my power was cut off
by the storm I guess, while I was finishing up my project. I was
just sitting at my chair typing and the next you know my power went
off. I didn't have a chance to save my project or anything, so I'm
asking if I can have an extra day to finish it up? Trust me on this
it works like a charm.
219. School excuse for not having
homework: I made my homework paper into a paper airplane, and it
got hijacked. This was a true excuse used in my junior high school
science class. The teacher said if you can come up with an excuse
he's never heard before, he won't count it against you for not
having your homework!
220. (Stupid School Excursion\ Camp\
Homework excuse) My dog exploded therefore blasting poop all over
the place including the study which is where I left my permission
slip\homework last night. (Don't use this too often.)
221. I am a full time college student
and mother of two. One day I missed speech class, on a test day.
To be allowed to make the test up, I had to have a great excuse.
When asked by my professor why I was absent, I told him my daughter
started her menstrual cycle, and was too upset to go to school. He
told me that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, but not to use
that excuse anymore the rest of the semester... He never asked for
222. (This only works if it is a
long-term project) Tell your teacher that, being the industrious
student you are, you finished your project days ago. But because
you didn't have the stress of worrying about it getting done, you
forgot about it and that it's sitting in your living room. My
friend used it. It worked! :)
Or, if you have a long-term project, tell the teacher that you have
been stressed out about getting this project done and you're so
stressed out that you've become forgetful lately, and that you'd
forgotten what the date was and didn't think the due date was until
tomorrow. You have to really act confused. You know, say things
like: "The 24th? Are you sure? I could've sworn today was the
223. I actually gave this to my
teacher: "I didn't do my homework last night because my Mom's
brother's only sister's son died." (that's me). He believed me and
gave me an extension.
224. My baby sister/brother drooled on
225. This is a list of excuses I made
up for my friends... I don't advise anyone to actually use these,
because I wouldn't expect any teacher in his or her right mind to
accept any of these excuses, but hey, they're good for laughs.
1. The person I normally walk with to your class was absent and I
got lost on the way here.
2. My pet goat ate my homework (which, by the way, is more
believable than a dog eating it, because goats actually enjoy eating
3. My dog ate my feet! (dogs are carnivores, they'd much rather eat
a good pair of feet than a piece of loose leaf paper with calculus
scribbled on it).
4. I hit my head on my locker and passed out for (insert # of
minutes late here).
5. I wanted to make an entrance.
6. The janitor tried to eat my homework and struggle ensued. I did
get the homework back, but I'm a bit late, sorry.
7. I just couldn't bear to leave math class last period... I just
love math so much!!
8. I really really had to pee, but when I got to the bathroom there
was a line. Then there was no toilet paper and then the toilet
9. I was scared to run in the hallways for fear of falling off of
these platform sandals and breaking my ankle (this really happened
to one of my friends... she's still in a cast today!)
10. It was the aliens!! They told me to be late!! I swear!!! (Would
I lie to you?)
226. Second semester freshman year I
managed to attend fifteen classes combined between five courses for
the entire semester. The way in which I did this would surely send
me to hell if I weren't Jewish (no hell:)) This was a two step
process. First, I told one of my teachers that a friend of mine
from home had gotten into a car accident and I had to go home and
see him. Two weeks and no classes later, I was writing an e-mail to
the same professor to explain my absences. I wrote that my friend
had sadly passed away and that I had to attend the funeral in... and
this was the kicker... Hungary. Why Hungary? Why not? No death
certificate necessary as well as two more weeks without class. I
passed this info on to all my other teachers and it worked for three
weeks. Then they started asking questions so I had to tell them I
was taking his death pretty hard. Bam! Two more weeks without
classes. At the end of the semester I had missed most of my classes
and all of my midterms so I went to see the school psychologist to
tell him I was more or less having a nervous break down. A few more
phone calls to my teachers (who were more than sympathetic) and I
finished the semester with two B's, two B+'s, and one F (the
heartless bastard). What's more, I actually had a friend at school
who was from Hungary and was also a slacker. Around finals, he
hadn't turned in his final or his midterm for a class we were in
together. He told me he was going to tell the teacher a friend of
his in Hungary had died. Thank God he talked to me first and we
managed to straighten things out. We decided that he had a friend
in Turkey that had died. He got a B+, too.
227. You see... I was doing my work in
the car and I left it in there. Then suddenly the car caught on
fire while we were in the store and the paper was inside. (I tried
this on my L. Arts teacher and it didn't work).
228. Sorry I'm late but I let my
brother do my makeup, big mistake!
229. I'm late because there was no more
toast and I had to make cereal and it worked. Though three days
later a loaf of bread was delivered to my class for me.
230. Once, I slept through one of my
philosophy classes at college. Since my father is a physician, I
told them that I had eaten at a bad Mexican restaurant the night
before and I thought that I had gotten food poisoning and
subsequently, diarrhea. My father believed me and wrote a note
saying why (not really) I was absent. Since my dad is my Primary
Care Physician, the teacher HAD to let me make up the test. (true
231. If your a woman and your late to
class just say, "Sorry, I was having women problems!" This
especially works if your teacher is a Guy, since most guys don't
want to get into it.
232. Tell a teacher and start off
with, "I had a busy day". Then tell her your day and rattle on
soon your teacher will give you an extra day to do the work if you
233. I couldn't do my homework because
mum said my hemorrhoids are acting up.
234. I couldn't do my homework because
I was too constipated.
235. I used this one in high school
once: We were on our way here when we saw a bag on the side of the
road. When we opened it up it was filled with puppies, so we took
them all to the animal shelter.
236. My father actually wrote this and
gave it to one of my teachers. (name) was absent yesterday because
her head got stuck in a lions mouth. We had to tranquilize the lion
and (name) had to under go surgery. Luckily there was no damage to
(name) or the lion.
237. An actual note for being away
that the mother of one of my friends (it was for being away on the
day of the school's swimming carnival): "[STUDENT] was away
yesterday because she had more constructive things to do."
238. This actually worked. My English
teacher gave us homework and I didn't do mine. Well, she asked me
why didn't I do my homework, and I couldn't just say that I didn't
want to do the freaking homework, so I said "I'm not a homework
kinda person". She laughed and I didn't do the homework for the
entire year. I have an A... he he he!
239. For the typically good student
who just needs a little 'break' from homework - simply tell your
teacher that your mom/dad grabbed your notebook by mistake and left
their work notebook for you. Works best if your notebook is plain
black or burgundy.
240. When a teacher asks you why you
aren't paying attention, you simply say "This attention guy never
gave me a bill!"
241. Can Joe please be excused from
completing his religious studies homework, he thought it did not
apply to him as he has sold his soul to the devil. This one I did
myself, my teacher was not too pleased, oh well!
242. I had an oral presentation due
and I completely forgot about it. I told my teacher that I had
dropped my note cards in a puddle on the way to school and the ink
ran all over the place. I then presented her with several note
cards that I had written nonsense on and then wetted in the sink.
She gave me a two day extension.
243. When asked why my friend Sarah
was not wearing her regulation school shoes she showed the teacher a
note which read, "Please excuse Sarah for being out of uniform as a
dingo ate her school shoes."
244. Well, my teacher asked someone in
my class why they didn't have their homework. The person replied,
"You're the teacher, shouldn't you know the answer to your own
questions?" He got a detention, but maybe it'll work on other
teachers. Good luck!!! :)
245. One day I was late to class and
the teacher asked why I was late. I simply told him that I was late
because the bell rang before I got there. It got me out of a
detention so I was happy.
246. Please excuse Evan for school
today. He leaves his clothes all over the floor and his fish tank
busted and all of his clothes got wet.
247. This happened to me once. I had
my math worksheet on a coffee table. I had finished it and left it
there to go out to eat. When I came back, my dog had gotten to it
and ripped it to pieces! So instead of having no homework I put it
back together and typed a copy on my computer. The next day I
turned in both pages, one in whole form and the other in an
248. My son/daughter could not attend
school today because we have decided to ship him off to Switzerland
for military school for a a couple of days but don't worry he will
come back as a perfect gentle men.
Sincerely, (your parents name)
249. In eighth grade, I had didn't
wish to do this huge science packet on soil science, extremely
boring stuff, so I just filled in a few of the pages with gibberish,
rubbed old, melted Halloween candy all over the top page, ripped
most of it up, and persuaded my rabbit, who truly does enjoy eating
paper, to nibble some of the corners. I presented this to my
teacher the next day, while I cried a bit, and was rewarded for my
efforts with a 100.
250. If you haven't done your homework
and you are relatively good at acting, try this. It works like a
charm. When your teacher asks the class for the homework smile and
look through your bag as though you are bringing it out. About a
minute in, start to look really worried and turn to your friend.
When the teacher comes over to you keep going through your bag and
look up with puppy dog eyes and announce you must have dropped some
things out of your bag. It also helps if you say there was a twenty
in your notebook because the teacher is bound to be more
understanding if she thinks you've lost a large sum of cash.
251. A man came to me and said,
"homework or your life!" I couldn't possibly give him my life so I
gave him my homework.
252. My dog died and so I am having
trouble with my homework so I didn't get it done cause I was
grieving over my dead dog Max.
253. This is an excuse my father wrote
for me in high school. I had a tendency to wake up horribly late or
not at all. "Please excuse autumn for being late today, she was
having an emotional breakdown."
254. I told the teacher for two weeks
in a row, "I was late to class because I could not find your class!"
255. I was going to give you my
homework but my mom already graded it!
256. Sorry I'm late but my bus was
hi-jacked by Turkish rebels--- My teacher didn't believe me but it
made her laugh so she wasn't annoyed!
257. A friend of mine had a note from
her mum that stated "please believe whatever **** tells you" signed
and dated. Apparently she was in a hurry that morning.
258. Irving was absent yesterday
because he missed his bus.
259. I was late to school because a
bus ran me down.
260. I'm sorry teacher I did my
homework but the funniest thing happen! Taylor ate it! She got a
little hungry when she was copying me.
261. True story: My duck ate my paper
and the teacher believed me!
262. This is a Monday excuse... If
late for class tell the teacher you went fishing, if he/she asks why
you didn't go fishing on the weekend say, "everyone else goes
fishing on the weekend and you can't catch any fish."
263. If you own a hamster or other
small animal then you use this excuse: I'm sorry I haven't got my
homework but I let my hamster run over my desk as a did it and he
pissed on it as I was doing it and I didn't think you would what the
paper. I tried and it worked!
264. My Biology homework was abducted
by aliens, as they are studying Human Biology. But they decided it
wasn't graphic enough. Unfortunately it was thrown in the bin with
the remains of the body they dissected after reading it...
265. I couldn't hand in my homework
because my best friend used it to catch dog shit from my dog so it
wouldn't get on the carpet.
266. No Homework - my dog ate my
homework and my rabid mum ate the dog ( in the case of a rare ginny
267. I am methodically testing all the
homework excuses that I can find on the internet and actually
bringing my homework would defeat the purpose.
268. My six year old son told his
teacher that he was late because his mother couldn't drive fast
because the old lady in front of her wouldn't get out of her way.
The next time he was late he told her that the power went out and we
could not get our garage door to open so we had to call a cab. He
is the MASTER at only six.
269. I actually used this one when I
walked into class ten minutes late: A pack of wild dogs got into
the school and started chasing me, so I had to take a lap around the
school to shack them. Don't worry though I'm alright. The teacher
laughed and then gave me detention.
270. This is true: Me and this guy
were on our second day of high school, which had totally different
classes than the first. We didn't know much but we knew which
classes were where. Our teacher told us to go to our lockers, but
we weren't aloud to our lockers unless it's the beginning or end of
the day, so naturally we thought school was over. We packed up our
stuff and left, neither of us had a watch so we had no idea. We
ended up missing our first math class, staying after school and
having to see our vice principal. She never understood how we
didn't know the time. He hated being wrong, so his excuse was, "the
teacher's should know what their talking about." Yo u should have
seen her face.
271. Also true: My little bro is
always complaining that he doesn't want to go to school. Well once
because of it I missed the bus, ended up walking, was late and got
detention it was my second week second day!! My excuse was the
truth they thought it was preposterous and said, "take an earlier
bus!" (I already get up at 6:45).
272. An excuse I heard from one of my
friends was in grade 3. He said , "I wasn't at school yesterday
because I was half way (he walks) and I realized I forgot my pants
and had to turn back." (everyone laughed and he was excused!!!)
273. This will probably work if you
have several buildings on campus that requires you to cross the busy
student parking lot, and if you have a free period later that day,
and then a class after the free period. Teacher, sorry I was absent
on (day). A reckless student ran over my foot, so I had to go to
the emergency room during my free period. It took longer than I
expected so I was not able to make it to your class that day.
(Present the shoe that got run over and has tire indent marks on
it) That ACTUALLY happened to me a couple of weeks ago. After I
got back to school from being in the ER, I was still wearing the
shoes that had tire marks on it. My Applied Biology/Chemistry class
was supposed to go to the school greenhouse, which is a good 3
minutes from where my class is. When she said, "OK, kids, let's go
to the greenhouse!" I said, "No way ~ My foot got ran over this
morning and the doc advised me not to do too much walking and to
take it easy!" and then I showed her my shoe. She let me get off
with not going to the greenhouse and said, "I hope you get well
soon." So I didn't have to do anything and I was waiting in the
hallway for my next class. :-D
274. Actual excuse given in a science
class, It wasn't accepted. The atomic structure of my essay became
unstable, so it disintegrated.
275. If you turn up to school late,
you have to sign a book in the office. One day I turned up about an
hour late, and I was waiting for the office lady to give me a note
to go to class, so I started reading the late book and saw that one
student had put speed limit in the "reason for lateness" column.
(*I thought it was a classic)
276. Lora will not be at school today
as she is at a very important rally demanding better pay and
conditions for her 'hard working' teachers!
277. This happened to my friend a few
weeks ago (it is in his AIM profile) Prof. Cormican: "Where were
you in class today?" Me: "There were extenuating circumstances, I
couldn't make it" ::: pause ::: Prof: "Who was she?"
278. This is a note my dad wrote to my
teacher so I didn't have to hand in my English homework. I never
thought he was that stupid! "Elizabeth cannot hand in her English
as she forgot it."
279. Once I didn't want to do an
assignment, so I told my teacher that It was against my ethic morals
and therefore couldn't do it. She laughed and gave me detention.
280. Given a piece of coursework by my
teacher in September I didn't do it. About 2 months after the due
date I had to go to parents evening where my dad who did not know of
the lateness of my work would find out. When the teacher asked
about the work I asked, "didn't you find it? I left it on your desk
they day after it was due!" My teacher is now searching the school
for a piece of non existent coursework. :)
281. A kid kept telling the football
coach that someone died and that was why he missed practice. First
his grandmother, then it was a great uncle. About the third time in
a month he came in and said: "Coach, I am sorry I missed practice
yesterday, but my 2nd cousin..."
Coach said, "Son you need to quit this shit before you end up an
282. In 7th grade I was a teacher's
pet. Then one day I forgot 3 assignments, so I told him I left them
in the printer and forgot to pick them up cause my essay was SO good
and long that I had to walk away while it printed. He bought it!!
283. Just say I was up really late
last night trying to finish my essay on the computer and my sister
was chasing my cat around the house and she ran bye the computer and
stepped on the cord I didn't get a chance to save it and my parents
said I should just go to bed and my teacher would understand. Then
look at your teacher with big eyes and ask for an extension. I
tried this in science and it worked.
284. This will always work. Sorry I'm
late (teacher name) but I was walking to school and I read the sign
Slow School Zone.
285. What? Homework? What Is
286. My mom was lighting a cig when i
was doin my homework!
287. Me and my friend were often late
to our math lesson after lunch and our teacher was a bit a strict
one, so I always made sure I had an excuse ready to give if he
asked. The excuse was - well, I desperately had to pee and the line
in the girls toilets was really long. I just had to wait coz I
couldn't hold on any longer! Nevertheless me and my friend never
got asked for an excuse coz we were teachers pets =D
288. Please excuse Jason from school
today as he has misplaced his trousers.
289. Please excuse my daughter from
school today she has to catch up on her homework you have given her!
290. I didn't go to class yesterday
because I got lost.
291. In our PE classes we are required
to wear our hair up. One day this gurl in my class had refused to
put her hair up. When the PE teacher asked her about it she replied:
"I'm not allowed to put my hair up, I have strep throat and my doc
says I have to sweat it out."
292. Hi my mum is an art teacher she
heard this one once:- Miss at the weekend I went to my nans in
Yorkshire and we stayed in a caravan. I left my work in there and
yesterday she died, the caravan was sold with my work in it sorry.
293. Sorry Johnny was not at school
yesterday he had diari (crossed out), diaher (crossed out), diree
(crossed out), oh just forget it, He had the SHITS!
294. One time I was late for class and
I said; I had to go to the bathroom and to top it off I placed a
piece of toilet paper on my shoe and to make it stick I put peanut
butter on it then sprayed it with fart spray. (it worked but I got
suspended for not seeing it on my shoe)
295. Sorry I am late for class. My
foot got stuck in the toilet when the toilet paper was stuck I had
to push it down with my foot.
296. A UFO crash-landed in front of me
on my way to school this morning. It ran out of gas and they needed
my homework to power their ship home. (It never worked, but the
teachers always had a good laugh and would give me an extension.)
297. I actually used this in 6th
grade. First we had 2 do a country report and the first 2 pages
where due and the day before. I had my 7 year old brother break a
floppy disc and showed my teacher and told him my brother got
curious and wanted 2 see what was inside.
298. I'm Sorry I don't have my
homework, but my friend isn't done copying it yet.
299. I'm sorry. You see I did all my
homework and put it on the counter to put in my back pack later.
Then I was supposed to make my little brother dinner, but I forgot
since my favorite TV show was on. Well my little brother saw this
thing on the counter that looked like a really flat pancake and ate
it. So you see, my dog didn't eat my homework, my little brother
300. I'm sorry I don't have my
homework. My family got a new paper shredder and we had to see if
it was working.
301. I couldn't do my homework coz I
got stuck in a mine-shaft.
302. I over slept and my mom is great
at calling in fake excuses for me (does it when I'm late for work
too). So anyways when she called the school she hadn't thought up an
excuse yet and she didn't want to say I was sick since she called me
in sick the previous week. So after about 10 seconds of blankly
staring at me she said , "we went to my uncle's Emu farm and Amanda
got too close to the Emu and it chewed off a chunk of her hair." So
then after she hung up with my school, we had to go down and get a
haircut so my story would clear!!
303. This is a TRUE story- When I was
in 5th Grade, my brother was 1 year old and just teething. My mom
was sleeping, so he was in my room and I was watching him. I had to
go to the bathroom, so I gave him a pretzel and went to the
bathroom. When I got back, he had finished the pretzel and started
on my reading worksheet. I said, No!, but he wouldn't listen. I
turned around to give him a blank piece of loose-leaf paper, but all
he would eat was my homework. I finished the work as best I could,
then I put it in a plastic bag and brought it to school. Maybe
because I had the NICEST teacher, or the paper was really chewed up,
but she believed me. You could also chew up the paper yourself and
say your sister/brother/neighbor/cat/dog ate it!
304. Hi, when I used to go to school
there was a register for the school kids to give their excuses for
being late. A friend of mine (Mossey) once wrote in this very
register that, "on his way to school 6 baby ducks started to follow
him as he walked across a field and he was unable to loose them so
he had to have them follow him home and call a vet to take care of
them." He still insists to this day (8 years later) that his excuse
305. Celia was absent from school
yesterday as she was mourning the death of the recently deceased
306. I did not bring my gym clothes
today because last night my grandmother asked me to come over and
keep her company. Unexceptionally my Nonna asked me to sleep over
and I did. The next day I went in the closet to look for my gym
clothes and they weren't there because it was not my closet.
307. I'm sorry Mr. / Mrs. __________ I
really had to go to the bathroom and I would hate having to
interrupt your lesson to leave such a great class and go then.
308. I was eating dinner when World War
3 broke out in my kitchen. The soldiers were everywhere and when I
dropped my homework I lost it. I didn't have time to search for it
because we had to go in a bomb shelter for the night.
309. If any of you are Chinese: Sorry
it's Chinese new year and we partied all night long and then when I
came back it was already 1:00!!!!!! so I had no chance to do it!!!!!
310. I cant take gym because I'm too
fat to swim laps.
311. I didn't have a pencil.
312. Well, my best friend used this and
it actually worked with her college English professor. She said that
she was working on her paper and then got up to go to the bathroom.
In the bathroom she lost one of her contacts and even though the
entire floor of her dorm helped her search, they still couldn't find
it. She didn't have glasses or extra contacts so she couldn't see to
finish her homework. She also couldn't drive so she had to call her
mom who lived two states away to come get her and take her to the
eye doctor. This not only got her an extension on the paper but
excused from class too! By the way, none of her story is true except
for the fact that she wears contacts.
313. This homework excuse works real
good. Teacher- Where is your homework? you- Well I was really hungry
& it was the first thing I saw so I ate it.
314. If you don't wanna go to school,
do this: If you have a heating pad turn it on and put on your
forehead for about 15 minutes, that gives you a fever, then tell
your mom/dad you have cramps and a fever. If they ask to feel your
stomach cramp it up and then you don't have to go to school because
you have a fever from the heating pad!!!! : )
315. Teacher: Why are you late? You: I
had a nose bleed so had to wait till it cleared up. This works every
time! I've used it lots of times! Can work for if your late for
lunch, break, in the morning, anytime!
316. *TRUE STORY* Okay there was this
one time when I was really really tired and I just couldn't get out
of bed to go to school. I hadn't finished my homework from the nite
before and I dint want to go to school AT ALL!! So I called up one
of my friends and told her to act like my mom and say that I was too
sick to go to school. Well she did but she didn't say I was sick.
She said that my period was too heavy and I had yeast infection. I
was so mad. They next day when I went to school all the teachers
were looking at me like I was crazy!
317. For homework: Tell the teacher
that you finished it in class yesterday and turned it in early and
so the teacher would think that they lost it.
318. Never mind the dog eating my
homework, the homework ate my dog! If you really want me to turn it
in, I can go to the hospital and see if the paper passed the dog
319. True Story. I was in grammar
school, but the school didn't have any buses, and the parents had to
drop the kids off at school. One day, my Mom and I were about to
leave for school. I opened the door, and our cat, Smoker, came in.
The only problem was that he had caught a rabbit! It was a
full-grown adult rabbit, but he wouldn't let go of it or come out
from under the kitchen table. With a broom and a towel and a little
luck, we managed to catch them both and put them outside. I made Mom
go inside school with me to tell the Principal what happened because
I didn't think they'd believe me.
320. I was up so late last night I left
my homework on the porch and when it rained it got messed up. But I
promise I did it.
321. This guy I know had a HUGE
homework assignment and he forgot till 4:00 a.m. 3 hours before
school was going to be in session, he hurried to his sister's room
to find some paper and the computer and he pulled some paper out and
started writing. The next day after his teacher read it he said to
the kid are you ok because your project was on Tampons the kid said
no I wear them. Needless to say he got a 2 week extension.
322. For homework (will probably work
if you are REALLY brainy): I am taking a philosophy doctorate, and
my thesis is that all excuses for not doing homework on the internet
are highly unreliable. To test this, I have to try them all. QED, it
would defeat the object of my thesis if I were to actually complete
the homework. I shall credit you when I publish my paper on the said
thesis. I haven't tried it yet.... Another excuse for not doing the
homework; My home is being redecorated and the paint fumes confused
me, thus not enabling me to do my homework. My Math teacher once
blamed getting a really easy sum wrong on paint fumes, if it worked
for her I don't see why it shouldn't work for anyone else....
323. My cat died and I was too sad to
go to school.
324. My homework got ripped in me bag!
325. This really worked, I had this big
social studies project due, which you had to find a article out of
the newspaper and have a stapled written paragraph on how it was
related to your amendment. I didn't do it, so I just wrote the
paragraphs and wrote fake summaries on the amendments. Then I put
some glue on the page to look like there was something glued there.
Then when she asked were are the newspaper articles that the
paragraphs were on, I looked shocked and said, "they were there last
night, they must have fallen off today." She let it go, and I got an
326. One time my teacher asked why I
didn't have my homework and I said because I didn't do it and he
gave me an extra day to do it! But the second time I tried it it
didn't work I got a Zero on the assignment.
327. Homework (this is true) - I don't
have my homework miss because my dad, not realizing what it was,
scribbled a naughty word on it when he was on the phone to his boss.
328. My Friend used this in the seventh
grade. Sorry Tim was absent but he was thinking of Erika Crisp and
he passed out... you know why. Used and it worked. Its mine I
THOUGHT IT UP FOR HIM. Its also 1 week old.
329. This really happened. "I'm sorry
but I didn't turn in my homework because my retarded brother used it
to blow his nose." (I'm serious, he's 15 too, ugh)
330. I don't have my home work because
my fish tank broke and soaked my room and my homework.
331. I don't have my home work because
I left it on top of my moms car and we drove off and lost all of it.
332. I don't have my home work because
my brother cleared the table and threw it away with a stack of
333. I don't have my home work because my bother and I accidentally
switched note-books and he has my stuff.
334. I don't have my home-work because my brother got mad at me and
tore it from under me and ripped it up and spit and it before
335. I don't have my home work because
my Mom cut herself and I had to get some thing for her and the
closest thing to her was my work so I tossed it to her and by the
time I got the towel the work was ruined.
336. I don't have my home work because
my dad accidentally took it with his folders for his work and he
keeps then there so I won't get them back for a day or so.
337. I don't have my home-work because
my best friend and I got in a fight and she stole my book-bag and
338. Please excuse me but the power
went out and we had to see so I lit a candle then it fell on my
homework. (burn up your homework halfway and do the top half)
339. I am late to school because of
that darn daylight savings time change.
340. I couldn't do my homework because
I looked at the sun too long while I was thinking and couldn't see
till I woke up.
341. Once I had some course work to
hand in but I hadn't done it so I told the teacher that it was on my
home computer and some on had got a magnet really close to it and it
had wiped the hard drive, not only did she believe me but I got
another month to do it and some help!
342. Teacher: Are you chewing gum? You:
(as you pretend to cough and when you cough you drop the gum into
your hand) No I am not chewing on anything Teacher: Oh well then
what's in your mouth? You: My teeth And after the teacher is done
asking you about your gum, next time she turns her back toward you
,you hurry up and put the gum back in your mouth.
343. True Story: I ask my students to
have their parents write a note, explaining why they were missing
their homework. But one kid told me that he had given his dad an
invisible ink pen. He had not realized that his dad wrote the note
invisibly. His story checked out false.
344. My homework ate my dog and it had
to be put to sleep.
345. "Sorry I'm late, and oh yeah, I
don't have my homework either!" I am a teacher so I answered, " Why
don't you have your homework and why are you late?" He replied, "
Well ya know how our homework was to follow all directions that we
see for the next 24 hours..... " I replied "Yes....." "Well," he
said, this morning I was having orange juice and I was stuck staring
at the box thingy for hours because the box said concentrate, and I
like didn't want to break your rule of not following the directions,
and my mom wouldn't let me bring the orange juice thingy to school,
so that is why I didn't have my homework!" I rolled my eyes as the
student sat down. The funny thing is, that almost all orange juice
boxes say "from CONCENTRATE!"
346. After being absent from college
for four weeks a guy I know was called up before the dean guy. When
he was asked why he missed so much college he said that his
girlfriend had gotten pregnant and he had to get a job to support
them. He didn't even have a girlfriend, they believed him. He missed
the next month and was called up again. This time he said that his
girlfriend had a miscarriage and he was too upset to go to college.
It had to work.... genius!
347. I called Miss Cleo and she said I
would be sick today so I didn't do the homework.
348. You: (While your mom is on the
phone in deep conversation) Oh yeah Mom here's my report card (full
of F's and D's)!! Can you sign it? Mom: Sure honey... (Without
looking at your horrible grades)
349. Please excuse Megan K. from class
today, she was sick and she barfed. Not only did she barf... but she
pooped all over her barf! Then the dog came along, thought that
Megan K. was trying to communicate with the dog and the dog pooped
all over Megan K.
350. Dear Gym Teacher, My son cannot
participate in today's class for he strained his back after carrying
me over a puddle.
351. Best Homework excuses:
Write one side leaving it ending in the middle of a sentence, then
oh dam I've left the other part at home.
My printer ran out of ink.
My computer crashed!
My disk wont open.
I've forgotten it, can I bring it tomorrow? A week later: I think
I've lost it miss!
I left it in my shirt and my mum put it in the washing machine.
352. One time I was late for lunch and
I said that the bell I didn't hear the bell go of so she let me go.
One thing it was at the beginning of the 2nd part of my half block
and there isn't any bell.
353. My parents are divorced so we are
going to a class every night for changing families. So I wasn't able
to finish my homework.
354. Well I didn't do my homework
because my little sister who was just born slobbered all over it and
the I couldn't make it out. Then she must have crawled out of bed
and ate my pencil because in the morning when I went to try and make
it out again it was gone.
355. I'm, in third year of high school
but in first year a guy in my friend's class was half an hour late
for the first class one day. He walked into class announcing: "Sorry
I'm late; my clothes wouldn't match!" He got away with it as well.
Last year this same guy and a group of his friends thought it would
be great if they all bleached their hair. This lead to a series of
disasters. The guy I mentioned left the bleach on too long so all
his hair fell out. He used this as an excuse so all the teachers let
him wear a baseball cap in class for a few weeks which is usually
A couple of weeks ago I had to go to the loo in between classes to
adjust my thong and get something out of my hair (NO IDEA how it got
there!) making me late for my class. I said that I went to the loo
'coz I didn't feel well and had friends asking me how I was for the
rest of the lesson....hehe!! :-)
356. Teacher: "Where have you been?
You've missed a whole period!" Female student: "You mean I'm
357. Please excuse Bobby from school
for the entire week. He has contracted a venereal disease and might
spread it around.
358. This works all the time in Israel:
"Someone left a bag on a street bench so the police blocked-out the
entire block because they think it might have an explosive charge in
it, and my bus had to take a serious detour through some really slow
traffic." ...And half the times it's true.
359. Teacher: Why where you late?
Student: I ran outa bus tickets. My bro actually used this one and
360. One day I was really fed up with
some problems to the point that I didn't go to school. The next day
I was still upset, but I still showed up to classes. One of my
teachers asked me why I was absent the previous day. Since I was
still in a bad mood, I told him in a deep threatening voice, "I was
was absent because of personal reasons I don't want to discuss."
There was a silence, then he shook my hand and said, "Marry the
girl." It caught me by surprise. I ended up smiling the rest of the
361. Skipping a test: Walk in half an
hour late and use the old "My mom didn't leave me any change for the
bus ticket and I had to walk" excuse. Then - "You mean I don't have
any time left to do the test??? And after I studied so hard! That's
so unfair!". I'm gonna try this out tomorrow. Wish me luck...
362. Sorry I didn't come to school
yesterday. You (the teacher) were sick yesterday.
363. I was late for school because when
I was running I tripped over a sprinkler.
364. A boy in my class at secondary
school was late for school every day. He decided he was bored of the
everyday excuses and so wrote in the late book; ' I was late because
I had a dream that my alarm clock had turned into a chicken'. He was
also known to have written 'well it was either get to school on time
with no coursework or get to school late with coursework'.
365. In my school in Britain the
teachers don't believe most of the excuses you tell them, so it was
hardly surprising that my teacher didn't believe this excuse that my
friend told her... "While I was printing of my homework the dog ate
the printer miss." "You don't have a dog," the teacher replied.
"Well, I ate the printer miss." "Why?" "Lack of food miss!"
366. My Brother actually used this
once, "I was late for school today because my brother replaced my
milk in my cereal to Crazy Glue and my mouth stuck together and we
needed to melt the glue." They actually accepted it because it was
such a Creative excuse.
367. (Actually used in my grade 11
creative writing class) Me: I was sitting there proofreading my
essay at my computer when a throng of rabid turtles came and
abducted both my computer and my printer. Teacher: I would think
that you would have been able to catch up to a bunch of turtles. Me:
You'd think so, but I was never very good at running, and these were
some very fast turtles. (At this point my teacher burst out laughing
and ended up giving me an extension, claiming that I was probably
the most imaginative student that he had ever taught).
368. I did finish my homework but I
left it at home and my hamster got it.
369. TRUE STORY --> (high school) One
day, I had hockey practice in the morning for my school team, so I
had to bring most of my equipment and my hockey stick to school. My
locker is very small, and I didn't want to carry around my equipment
with me all day, so my last choice was to keep it in one of my
teacher's classroom for the day. (let's call this teacher Mr. X) My
homeroom teacher (Mr. Z.) was very strict about being late in his
class. I was waiting outside of Mr. X's classroom for 10 minutes,
waiting for him to arrive. At 8:30 (the time I'm supposed to be in
Mr. Z's class) he finally arrived. I asked him if I could keep my
equipment in his room, and he said yes. By this time, it was 8:35
and I had to be in assembly. I told Mr. Z in assembly that I was
late because I was waiting for Mr. X to show up so I could ask him
if I could leave my equipment in his room. He didn't believe me, so
I told him to ask Mr. X about it. He did, and Mr. X told him exactly
what happened. Mr. Z still didn't like the idea of my being late for
class, even though I had proof for why I was late, so he told me
that either I could get a late slip (resulting in a detention) or
pay $1 which would go to charity. Not wanting to have to be stuck in
detention, I paid the dollar!
370. Well I was late to school today
because it was really hot making the molecules on the road stretch
making the journey to school longer.
371. Teacher: Where is your homework?
You: Miss! I was walking along and aliens landed in front of me and
took my homework, I got it back, I had to beat them with a handy
screwdriver! Teacher: So where is your homework? You: Steve took
it... Teacher: Where's Steve? You: On the moon.... the aliens took
372. Sorry But I won't be able to come
to school today because well u see my dog died and then my cat then
my little brother flushed my fish down the toilet and the bird was
eaten by the cat before it died and well u get the story. So we'll
be out buying new pets.
373. You say that your screaming
caterpillar ate your homework. It worked for me.
374. I didn't do my science home work
one time, and I told my science teacher that I didn't get a chance
to do my home work because my grandpa had a stroke. She actually
believed me and felt sorry for me. And told me to hand it in when
ever I had the chance. Then I went back and told her I lied and she
was hysterically laughing. It might not sound funny but it was to
375. I was walking to school and I
walked past a bank when a robber came out and tried to shot me, but
he missed and shot my book bag. My book bag caught on fire because
the bullet hit my flammable perfume.
376. (I actually used this one) I was
about to do my homework but then the dog peed everywhere in the car
so the paper I was gonna do my homework with was the paper I had to
clean it up with.
377. My homework ate my dog!
378. An excuse for not having your
homework (this has worked for me on more than one occasion...
sometimes it's been true, sometimes I just haven't felt like coming
up with a better excuse): "My mother cleaned my room yesterday,
without my permission, while I wasn't home, and she threw out all my
papers that weren't on my desk and now I can't find anything in
379. One time at college I didn't fancy
going to class so to get out of it I said that I had to go and pick
my brother up from school as he had broke his arm, the funny thing
is we live about 2 minutes from the school, my brother was too old
for school and I couldn't even drive, plus my teacher knew this and
saw me having a driving lesson the day before and she didn't even
question it. I'm actually off work at the moment lying saying I have
diarrhea and most of it is blood.
380. My bird was out and I was doing my
homework and she stole my paper and flew out the window.
381. I didn't do my homework because I
didn't feel like it.
382. Please excuse my daughter from
school yesterday. She was in traffic and had to use the bathroom
real bad. She pooped in her panties bathroom and had to come home
383. "Jonny, this is the 8th time that
you didn't do your homework this week!" "I know, you see the problem
is I tried to go onto WordPad but that didn't work so a sign came up
that said connect to AOL... and you know I started chatting and
stuff and then a hacker came onto my account and well the whole
computer shut down, and I can't write because when the computer shut
down it went on fire and it exploded and it burned my fingers so now
I have no fingers... so therefore I cant write or do tests."
384. Mom I can't go to school. I have
to go to the bathroom instead.
385. I was in my dorm and thought for
some reason my class was at 2 pm (when it was really at 1). I
remembered at 1:45, and rushed to class as fast as I could. To make
matters worse, there was an exam that day! I explained the situation
to my professor, and he said, "I don't usually allow students to
make up exams" but let me take it later that day!
386. Mom: Where's your homework? You:
(in a sad voice) Oh mommy it was horrible! Some mean ol kids raided
my back pack and took my stuff! Look!
387. The guy I like actually used this
excuse when he came in late. He lives about 5 or 6 miles from our
school. He said he'd ridden his skateboard to school and he was
about an hour late! It was hilarious!
388. This is good school excuse. I told
the people in the office I stopped to help an old lady change a flat
tire and she hit me in the head with a tire iron. It helps if you
recently hit your head and have a knot you can use as proof. They
thought it was so original they just told me to go to class.
389. Here's a good school excuse, say
that when you took a shower that morning the doorknob came off in
your hand and your parents had already left the house. I had the
people at school call my dad and he confirmed that when he came back
home he had to break down the door so I could get out.
390. When I was a kid I forgot to do a
homework assignment and when asked by the teacher the next day I
told her I was dead last night and could not do my homework.
391. This is one have used about ten
times. When you forget an essay say that you were working on the
essay and someone (parent, sibling, friend) walked past with a drink
in their hand and they tripped and got the computer wet and it
exploded. This works every time.
392. Reason for not having assignment:
I dropped the disk in the toilet. A TRUE STORY!
393. My grandma died...again.
394. My laptop ate my homework.
395. I got hungry and ate my home work.
396. Sorry teach, I wasn't here for the
last 6 months because my mom said that I had to go to china to give
my uncle some American food to live off of. Can you believe this is
a true story my teach actually bought it hint hint - she was
397. Put tape over your 2 writing
fingers the day you have a big test and say you jammed your fingers
playing basketball and can't write.
398. My daughter couldn't go to school
yesterday because my mother died and we had to cremate her. My
daughter was too upset.
399. Sorry, but I don't have my
homework because when I was working last night my bird was out
flying around and crapped on it.
400. After my friend and I had skipped
a science class her fathers note read : Please excuse Kate from Mr.
Smiths third period science class as she was "puking in the
bathroom" Tom Moore P.S. Ya I didn't believe it either!
Well friends we have more School and
Homework Excuses to go. The School Excuse 3 page has excuse 401
thru 600. Please click on the
School Excuse 3
link to go there. Enjoy
I hope you enjoy this place and please go to
Excuses page and send your excuses in!
If you like this web site, please
Email a link to your friends.
The Mother of All Excuses Place Guestbook [