401. I wonít
be coming to school today or ever again, I have discovered I can
make the average yearly teacher salary in one night at
on line poker. See ya!
402. Teacher: Why
are you so late? You: Well, thing is, my toaster's really
old-fashioned and it takes AGES to heat up!
403. Paint your
nose green and shout out silly phrases, have a friend say you have a
green nose sickness. That is how you get out of p.e.
404. I was walking
to school when the aliens came down and abducted me, they fed
information into my brain which made my brain bigger and bigger
until it exploded and it weighed more than 4 solar masses thus
forming a black hole I got sucked into it and I traveled faster than
the speed of light causing me to create my own friction on myself
which superheated me and turned me into plasma I exploded into
another dimension and by the time I got back from the other
dimension I was late for school. Tell the teacher this and they'll
be to confused to give you detention.
405. On the day
that my chemistry term paper was due, I realized that I had left the
50 page report sitting in my printer tray at home. When my teacher
asked me where it was, I responded, "Oh, that? Its not important.
But if you must know, It died two days ago." The next day, when I
brought it in , I said, "Miracles can happen! My paper rose again
on the third day! Praise the Lord!" -- I received full credit.
406. My daughter
will not be in class today because she cracked her head and went to
the hospital her brain will be removed and switched so please excuse
her I advise you not to give her homework for about two months,
thank you. This one was actually used by a 11 year old girl .
407. I didn't do my
math homework because the batteries in my calculator ran out!
408. For being
late: Teacher: Why are you late?? You: Well you see my family and I
just bought a dog.. and this morning when I woke up my dog was lying
on the floor... dead! (go in to details how he had died and the
exact place and stuff like that) the teacher gave me detention for 2
months for lying to her later the teacher had called my mom to see
if it was true.. and it was! She was sooo embarrassed she let me go
for detention and now she believes what ever I say! (true story)
409. My sister
fused the house with her hair dryer and my alarm clock was reset.
410. I did my
homework but I woke up late and I forgot it by my computer.
school/homework excuses: When I was in 9nth grade geometry honors,
the teacher didn't really check our homework. Sometimes she would
glance over it to make sure we did all of it, but usually you could
get away with stuff. I did the following on many occasions: I hate
proofs, especially two column proofs, but I don't particularly like
paragraph proofs either. Anyway, if the teacher doesn't really
grade your homework you can usually write a paragraph proof that
goes something like "I have no idea how to prove this. I'm
completely stumped." One time, I put "I really don't feel like
proving this right now." The teacher looked directly at it, circled
it, and gave me full credit on the homework.
412. Here's how my
Spanish teacher checked homework: He handed out calendars for each
month. Every day we had homework, he would walk around to see that
we had it, then stamp that day on the calendar. I guess one day he
was feeling rushed or lazy, but the girl that sat next to me hadn't
done her homework, but she happened to have a sheet of old homework
layin' around, so the teach just walked by and stamped without
looking at it.
413. Teacher asks
you why you haven't got any books. You say, "I left them in school
and the school was set on fire by people." (this really happened to
me. My school was set on fire by vandals and loads of stuff was
414. Sorry I was
late for school, but my mom would not let me out of the house until
I flossed my cat.
415. (This is
true) In my 9th grade English class, we had to do this big long
essay about respect and common courtesy and behavior, because we
were loud that day. Well that Jesse came over and took it out of my
printer and said that if I wouldn't let him watch TV. that he would
eat it. I didn't believe him, he ate half of it.. :( When I told
that to my English teacher, he told me I was crazy and to go sit
down. (I did not get to make it up :|)
416. In 7th grade,
This girl was late for 3rd period P.E., and when she finally showed
up for class her excuse was " I forgot I had class."
417. Please excuse
Gordy from school today, he left his brain on the subway.
418. Once our
homework for P.E. was to bring a tennis ball to school (to play
tennis), but my dog chewed it up. Therefore I could use the excuse
"My dog Ate My Homework!"
419. True: I did
my homework on the toilet and my father used it for toilet paper.
420. Please excuse
my son TJ from P.E. today. Saturday he was outside playing football
and he lost his foot. We have been searching all over for it but we
still haven't found it.
421. When I was in
grade 6, I was usually late getting back to school after lunch, and
usually I got a detention for it. So one day I was late again and
as usual my teacher asked me why I was late, not thinking I told him
that our furnace broke and the toothpaste was frozen so I had to go
next door and wait for it to thaw. Well he laughed so hard he told
me if I could keep coming up with excuses as good as that I won't
get another detention, and he was right!!!
422. This one time
when I was in class, this dude didn't have his homework. As always,
Mrs. Jones asked, "Teaky, why don't you have your homework?", He
said, "Well last night when I had gotten done with the assignment, I
had laid it down beside me. My baby sister came over to me. When I
looked up, she had it all in her mouth and was all eaten and chewin'
it". Then this other time Teaky didn't have his homework again, and
this other dude named Niko was like, "Hey Teaky, did your sister eat
it again?!!" The whole class bust out laughing!!!!!
423. If you don't
want to do your homework, present a load of random letters in the
Windings font to your teacher and say that you are sorry that your
PC is broken and that is all it will print out!
424. This 1 really
works! The night before you have school the next day you go to your
parents and say, "Mommy/Daddy (in your sick voice) I have a stomach
ache. Then at 10 pm to 3 o'clock am, flush the toilet then get back
in bed. 5 minutes later flush the toilet again. Do it one more
time and then go into your parents room and say" Mommy/Daddy (in
your sick voice) I have diarrhea for the 4th time. They will end up
letting you stay home from school. I did that on 1/6/03.
425. My dog keeps
mistaking my homework for the neighbors cat... by the way my cat is
426. My son was off
school today because I told him to clean his room. It was very
messy and took him all day.
427. I didn't do my
work because you said it was optional.
428. Please excuse
Jim today he is constipated and he is stuck on the potty.
429. For Art if you
must draw something: Sorry I left for the bathroom and my cousin who
is not right in the mind put it in his mouth and swallowed it. I
couldn't do it again because we were just about to leave the farm
where I had drawn it and my inspiration left me.
430. This was used
by a kid in the 5th grade: Please excuse Shadi for shitting on the
floor, he couldn't reach the toilet.
431. I'm late all
the time/ miss school frequently because I am anemic. I am pale
from this, not from being up all night partying. This is why I
yawn, this is why I am tired. It is not because I drank too much
and slept too little.
432. Any excuse in
the world, however crazy, will work at school if you are a female,
smiling sweetly at a male teacher; trust me, I have used the
maddest excuses on my male teachers for three years and never got a
detention. I have done everything, including 'Aliens landed on
Earth, took me hostage, stole everything I had including my
carefully done paper, then released me just in time for school,
returning everything except the paper'. I tried that one a female
teacher once for a dare, and she gave me an A for Imagination.
433. I was absent
from school last week because I was bitten by a snake and died, but
luckily I was reincarnated this morning.
434. (True) My mom
made chicken wings, its my sisters favorite, she was so excited she
ate 2 at the same time and she started chocking on them. We took
her to the hospital. I tried doing the homework but I was so
worried about her I couldn't do it. (try crying)
435. so I'm 12 and I
stole 42 pens from a teacher and all I did was say my friend did it.
(teachers never bust squealers)
436. I've used this
one so many times... tell them that you will print it after class
and hand it in before the day is done. Then go to the them the next
day and say, "I came to your office but you weren't there." It
works 8 out of 10 times. The other 2 out of 10 doesn't work cause
they say they were there all day.
437. Limp around
all day then when you get to P.E., have a friend pass by and say oh
yeah he/she has been limping around all day. Then make up a story
on how you hurt yourself! Worked for me!!!
438. One time I was
late for P.E. (about 15 min. late) so our class was already done
stretching and when we showed up my teacher was about to give us
extended study when I finally said that we were late because we were
getting help with Math from our teacher and she didn't have any more
439. I USED THIS
REALLY: I couldn't come to school today, my bus driver had to much
Viagra and ran off the road.
440. "I couldn't
practice my tuba because the cows wouldn't give milk."
441. You: There
really is no excuse for missing my homework. Teacher: Your really
usually filled with them. You: Well I didn't have time to check the
excuse website last nite, sorry!
442. Please excuse
my son from school as he is suffering from a hangover!
443. I don't have
my book bag today because last night my hamster got out of the cage
and died in my book bag!
true story!! Once in grade 3 I had to use this excuse: Sorry I was
late Ms./Mr./Mrs. (teacher) I was handcuffed to a tree and I
couldn't reach the safety switch. I ts true my friends and I were
playing a game and one of my friends brought handcuffs to school
(metal ones not the crappy plastic ones) and when the bell rang they
just left me there and my hands were too far apart to reach the
445. I have poop
that won't come out so I can't go to school.
446. True story (my
older brother used it): I am unable to turn in my homework because
my little brother tore it up. (I really did, I was really pissed of
at him, but it was a long time ago so I forgot why).
447. Teacher: Where
is your homework? Student: Still in my pen Miss.
448. My brother was
caught selling cigarettes at school that he had taken from his dad.
His excuse was that by selling them his father was smoking less and
less likely to die!!
449. My homeroom is
a mobile classroom, you know, cheap walls, stuck in the middle of
our school parking lot. This was because we had an overabundance of
students and did not have enough rooms. Anyway, it is the science
lab so we did not have desks, rather, cubby holes against the wall.
We were instructed that when we left, we were not allowed to come
back for anything. So, the convenient excuse for all students in my
class was "I left it in my cubby,". Well, one day, a student
notorious for not handing in work told our Math teacher "I left it
in my cubby." This must have been the 34th time he used that excuse
in this class. Without faltering, the teacher snapped back "Go get
it!!!!!" "But I'm not allowed," said the student. My teacher wrote
him a signed note to give to our homeroom teacher, and marched him
over to the mobile classroom. Upon searching his cubby while both
teachers looked on, he said "hmmmm, I know its in here...." Twenty
minutes later all the papers were on the floor and both teachers
were pawing through it. He eventually admitted he never did it. He
got three detentions , one for lying to a teacher, one for
continuing the charade for 30 minutes, and one for disrupting both
450. I didn't do my
homework because my cat peed on it.
451. One day me and
a friend were late to general music class, we were late because we
were talking about the NFL playoffs from that weekend and lost track
of time completely, so we got to class and our teacher ask for a
pass, we didn't have one, so we went to the office and asked for a
pass, they asked why we were late and that question totally caught
us off guard, we simply replied that we were talking to our science
teacher about our assignment. And it worked like a charm!!
452. Excuse for not
coming to class or work: (true story of a friend of mine)... I
can't come in today. My upstairs neighbor's cat is stuck in the
ceiling of my bathroom and we can't get him out. (Followed by, we
tried to get to the cat by standing on the sink but that fell down
and now there is a cascade of water down the wall.)
453. Actual excuse
I had for not being in class... In college I had physics on M, W,
F. One Wednesday, I slept in past my morning physics class thinking
it was Tuesday and I didn't have class until the afternoon.
454. Teacher: Why
didn't you do your homework? Me: Dunno. At this point the teacher
just turned around and carried on with class without saying a word.
455. This is the
funniest thing that I ever did. I had to read a passage which
started 'One of the main reasons...' Instead I sat silently in my
seat. My teacher thinking that I didn't understand read the first
word, 'one' I then replied 'of' and waited until she said 'the'
again I said the next word 'main' This actually worked for the full
sentence until my very pissed off teacher made me leave the class.
456. I actually
used this around Christmas time: I was about an hour late to 1st
period and I came in and said that my mom had blown a fuse with the
Christmas lights which made my alarm clock turn off and I didn't
wake up for school on time...
-------------------------------------------- I was in drama and had
a line test (had to memorize all my lines) and my excuse for not
knowing all them was that I was sick (and I actually was sick a week
earlier, but I'm such a good actress that my sickness carried into
the following week), so I told him I was sick and that I was on
medication that made me drowsy so I was sleeping all the time and
didn't have time to study my lines........ my theory is, if I can
fool a DRAMA teacher with those lines, they GOTTA work! :o)
457. This excuse is
best for the last two trimesters/semesters. "I have to go to court
every Friday." That way the teacher thinks that you are trying to
straiten up, and will give you a little leeway.
458. One day I was
late for school and I forgot I had an exam that morning, my teacher
wouldn't let me sit my exam so I told him my bus got bogged and we
had to wait for another bus to pick us up, he felt bad and let em
sit the exam the next day.
459. This kid in my
math class actually did this: We always stapled all of our homework
to a little slip every Monday (the day we turned it all in) and so
one time when he didn't do his homework, he stapled his biology
notes to it and made up some scores for his assignment. The teacher
didn't even notice, and he got an A. He has done that ever since.
I wonder if he
ever even does his homework anymore?
460. In my English
class, everyone dislikes our teacher, so one day, we decided that
someone was going to go to the bathroom, call the school from a cell
phone, and ask to talk to their "second cousin" (our teacher). One
day we did it, but the kid forgot his name, so we are going to try
it very soon! Then the office would call the teacher up to take a
phone call, while we did whatever we wanted.
461. Well, my cat
had diarrhea and shit all over my homework.
462. I had lice
yesterday and it took 2 days to get rid of.
463. This morning
my pet jumped out of the window and I had to chase it, but when I
caught it school was already over. [my stupid teacher believed it]
464. I teach and
received this excuse from a student who returned to school late
after lunch: I was at home helping my little brother polish his
models, sorry! Won all-time top honors with me after 18 years of
465. I am sorry I
wasn't in school yesterday, my brother wouldn't wake up so I had to
stay home and keep trying to wake him up.
your teacher asks why you couldn't finish
your homework, tell him/herthatthe power went off because of a mix up paying the bill and
with nolights orcomputers you couldn't see to do it.
467. Excuses for
getting out of P.E.:
1: I am sorry. My child suffers from acute schizophrenia and
entering the changing rooms could permanently change his/her
2: ____ has currently got a case of Icantbebothereditus and cannot
undertake in P.E. today. Any form of exercise could be fatal. If
exercise should occur, consult a GP immediately.
3: (only works if you are a girl and have a male P.E. teacher)
____________ is pregnant. If you make her do P.E., I'll tell the
Head it's yours.
4: Please excuse ________ from P.E. as he/she is radioactive. Need
I say more?
5: If you make me do P.E., I'll sue the school for harassment.
468. For getting
out of detention 4 missing home work:
1. Rip a page out of your book, crumple it and then put it in your
2. Tell your teacher that it ripped out of your book.
3. Do the home work when you get the chance and then hand it in.
469. When you are
asleep in school and the teacher wakes you up, quickly cross your
hands like you are playing and quickly say, "And thank you for my
teacher. Amen" This really works!
470. One morning I
was in a really big rush and I grabbed my newly-washed PE kit from
the laundry basket. When I took it out my bag the changing room was
filled with a horrible smell. My excuse for why I couldn't wear my
PE kit was: "My cat likes to sit in our laundry basket, and when I
took my PE kit from it this morning I didn't notice that...er...it
used the laundry basket as a toilet!" The teacher burst out
laughing and let me off. PHEW!
471. Yesterday my
mom made chicken wings for dinner and when dad was eating them he
chocked on one and it was stuck in his throat. So we rushed to the
hospital and I tried to do my homework at the hospital but with all
the noise in the halls I just couldn't. I'm sorry. :)
472. Ok... My
friend told me about this happening... A group of people decided to
skip school for whatever reason. They went to a restaurant that was
near the school and asked the waitress to call them out sick. She
did it and the school believed her...
473. Last Week I
was studying and my friend's dog bit me and sent me to the ER.
474. This an excuse
that works every time with my teachers. Miss: Where's you're
homework? You: I can't get it there's a spider in my locker and I
have a phobia of spiders. I'll give it to you whenever the spider
moves away. ^_^
Why weren't you at dance practice? You: You know it isn't safe to
ride a bike at night.
476. This one
works, I used it! I don't have my homework Mrs./Mr.______ because
my pen exploded in my backpack destroying my homework.
477. I was late to
school because a cow was laying in the middle of the road blocking
478. One time I did
not wanted to go to school I put all my clean cloths on my dirty
cloths basket that way my mom would not make to go to school . And
479. It's against
my religion to do homework on a day ending in "y".
480. Teacher: Are
you chewing gum??? You: Um no, I just have a sore jaw.
481. You: Sorry I
got a bad report card Mom, its probably because the stress that has
been going around, Its common u know. Mom: Then why don't you stop
spending time with your friends? You: That's the only thing that
helps me unwind, being with friends also helps with my social
482. This is one
someone I know actually got to use: "I haven't been in school the
last two weeks because you ran me over!"
483. I did my
homework, really I did It's just that I was followed by spies on the
way to school, and I had to eat it to stop it falling into enemy
484. MOM: What are
you doing outside when your homework isn't done? KID: I think I
a hearing aid I thought you said to go outside when your homework
485. I was late for
class one day because as I was taking a bite out of a chocolate
cupcake in the hand of my friend whose locker is next to mine
another friend of mine walked up and smeared it all over my face and
it got in my hair, on my clothes, shoes, in my locker, my friend's
locker next to mine, on my face and all down my friend's shirt. The
friend who shoved the cupcake in my face ran merely off to class as
the bell rang and I and the owner of the cupcake stood speechless
staring at each other. We went to class with the cupcake still on
and the teacher allowed us to be late and to go wash the cupcake off
as our fellow classmates laughed hysterically at us.
486. Please excuse
my sorry ass son from P.E. today. Last night while he was jacking
off to Britney Spears, he hurt his arm.
487. My friend
actually used this he stuck his un-finished homework in his mouth
ripped it up (or chewed it) and said his dog ate it my other friend
and I started cracking up!
488. Please excuse
my daughter for being late on Tuesday. A pigeon flew into her open
window and flew around her room messing up everything and we had to
chase it out of the house.
489. This is an
excuse I used to get out of a English final (I am Mexican and was
taking a English as second language class)- "Professor, no puedo
tomar el examen porque te oro." ("Teacher, I cannot take the exam
because I hate you.") The teacher did not understand Spanish and
never made me take the exam. Que suerte! I would not try this
unless you are assured that the teacher knows no Spanish.
490. I couldn't
turn in my homework because I was thinking to hard to actually do it
that I couldn't think to turn it in.
491. It flew out
the bus window!
492. When I was in
middle school, I was in the journalism class, along with several
other geniuses who either forgot to do or lost their homework. I
never managed to find a good excuse, but one of my fellow
journalists would infallibly use the excuse, "Oh, I had
yearbook/newspaper work to do." It turns out that he not only got
off the hook, but became a teacher favorite for this excuse. Go
493. One day I was
late for school and it had been raining and I was late so I used the
excuse that I fell in a puddle and had to change. (this works only
if it has been raining)
494. When asked why
he was late, a boy in my class said "but I'm not late... I'm early
495. Once at the
elementary school I went to, a girl was asked to go to the office to
get a manila folder. When she got there she asked for a 'Vanilla
folder'! After a few minutes of the staff asking her if the teacher
didn't want a strawberry or chocolate folder, she got what she was
sent for... needless to say she was extremely embarrassed.
496. A kid in my
math class did this once. He didn't do his homework that night so
he squirted water in his backpack all over old homework. He told
the teacher that his water bottle exploded and she said don't worry
about it and he could make it up later. She really thought that his
water bottle exploded!
497. This really
happened please excuse my daughter as she stabbed herself with a
craft knife in her left ankle when cutting cardboard.
498. Mom: Why has
your gerbil got a piece of your report? You: Well, see I was about
to give it to you, um, but I got distracted by the ur, dog, and he
ran at me and I was so shocked my hand flew back and the gerbil um,
stuck his head out of the cage and ate it. Yea, that's what
499. I apologies
for (your name) 's lateness to school today it was my fault, I
needed his/her help to strap on our dog's prosthetic leg. Sometimes
when the dog is not feeling too corporative I have trouble attaching
it to the little stump that she has left. It wont happen again.
Thank you sincerely (parents name).
500. I can't come
to school today my dog ran away and he walks me to school.
501. Once, in second
form at High School, I told my math teacher that I hadn't done my
homework because I had to fly to Stockholm to collect my Nobel Prize
502. This is for if
you forgot my home work. You erase the work you've writhen in you
agenda, you erase it and writhe it for the next week and say to your
teacher I did not do it it's for next week I got the proof here look
in my agenda. Real story I tried it before really works.
503. This really
happened last week. I m in 7th grade and I was just getting dressed
after gym. A kid stole another kids towel and he kept denying it. I
was called in as a witness. It took 45 minutes as the 2 teachers
argued with the thief. Then the teachers asked us to make a
statement. I wrote down my statement and I purposely stalled to talk
to my friends in the hallway buz I new I had a test in my LA class.
Well my excuse for the class was that I had spent 20 minutes
deciding to remain anonymous for the statement. SHE BELIEVED ME!
504. One day, I got
home from school, and I realized I had forgotten my keys! I knocked
on the door, and no one answered. So, I knocked again, and no one
answered still! I sat on the porch, and I did my homework since
there was nothing else to do until my mother got home from work.
About a half an hour later, I decided to go to the back door, and
try a trick I can do to open the door, and it was then when I
discovered that the back door was open, and my mom was home! How
clumsy can one person get!
505. This is a true
story!: My teacher asked us to bring in a atlas, I didn't I told my
teacher our bookcase had been plastered into the wall, naturally he
didn't believe me so he phoned home and it was true! The builders
had used wet plaster and it has dripped over the bookcase and it had
506. When a teacher
asks why you are late, just reply with the question, "Or is it
possible that everyone else is early?"
507. I was once late
for school because I got such a fright when my alarm went off that I
hit my head on the wall next to bed and knocked myself out. I woke
up an hour later with a sore head and a lump the size of an egg.
508. I had left my
D&T homework too late and decided to rush it the night before it was
due. We had to visit our auntie as we hadn't seen her for ages.
Well, during the three hour stay, our car was stolen - with my
homework in it! My mum ended up writing a note to the teacher saying
what had happened. He let me off due to the fact that it was the
best excuse he had heard. He didn't believe me, but it actually
509. Well, I had to
drive all the way to school in our old truck, and the heating
stopped working, and we got cold, and my daddy couldn't concentrate
so we ran off the road into a ditch. Then we had to call a tow truck
but we didn't have a phone so we had to hitchhike, and by the time
we got to a phone, school was starting! So we called a tow truck,
and it towed the car out of the ditch. Then we drove all the way
here. And I forgot my homework in the car, because I was so upset
that I had almost died. And I'm sorry about being late. (This
actually happened to us... and I just did my homework the next day).
happened... I showed up at school the next day with my whole foot in
a cast-like thing, with 6 stitches for the outside of my toe, and 3
or 4 for the inside! The cut went all the way to the bone, severing
P.S. Yes, it was probably the "stupidest" wound I've ever
accidentally inflicted upon myself. (It was back in 1997, I was 17,
and hadn't had the sword very long at that time) However, I do still
have the sword, but it stays in the sheath 99.5% of the time, and I
DON'T take it out if I'm barefoot. ;-)
511. I tried doing
my homework I swear but then it got to hard so I asked my parents
for help and they tried it but it was just so hard that they took it
to work to get some help.
512. An excuse for
math teachers; (my own math teacher said that he would accept this
excuse. In the last lesson before I left) I had just finished my
homework, when I decided to try to divide something by zero. This
resulted in my book catching fire.
513. I got In School
Suspension because someone threaten me to do it in front of the
teacher or else they would beat me up.
514. True story. I
live in Tucson, Arizona and have a cousin who is an excellent
swimmer so she often competes in Phoenix. One weekend I was
finishing my S.S. report while riding in her car. When she dropped
me off at home I left my report and notebook in the front seat of
her car. When I realized on Monday morning that I was missing them
it was too late, she had gone to Phoenix for the week and, seeing as
how ALL of my info was in her car, I got an extension.
515. In social
studies I had a power point presentation due that I had not
completed. Since the unfinished presentation was on the disk in my
back pack and my home computer I simply snapped the disk and case
and gave them to him with the explanation of "really, I thought that
a case was enough to protect my disc on the bus". It worked too and
I got an extension.
516. I can't come
into school today because it's against my religious principles.
517. Sorry I was
late for school miss, I squirted the toothpaste too much and spent
all morning getting it back in the tube.
518. A tornado came
and destroys my house with my homework in it.
519. Sorry I didnít
come to school the past few days because I got hit at the head then
I suffered amnesia and my relatives were trying to help me remember.
520. When asked why
I was late for class I responded, the bell rang before I got here.
521. Sorry I have
not got my homework because my baby sister got sick all over my
522. I'm sorry I was
late for school today but my mom lost her car... but this morning
she found it.
523. If you have to
run for football, like us we had to jump and roll also in this long
ass conditioning period and I pretended that I landed on my head
wrong and my neck hurt, I didn't have to run after that but the
trainer did have a nice long look at my neck to make sure I was
524. I used this
excuse a lot when I'm late for school: "I'm not Late I'm just early
525. The reason I
don't have my big, important project, which I put off for the last
night goes like this: Last night when I was finishing up my
homework, my dog came over and threw-up on my homework and then ate
it. When I was trying to get him to barf it back up, 12 shiny
leprechauns came crashing through my wall on magical unicorns. Then
they stole my dog and tried to get away over a beautiful rainbow,
but I grabbed my dog's leg just in time. Unfortunately then, the
leprechauns sprinkled some magic pixie dust and then a giant alien
mother ship took the leprechauns and unicorns along with my dog and
took them off to Neverland, where they can fly freely with peter pan
and the lost-boys forever.
526. "My dog has a
digging addiction and buried my homework."
527. Sorry I can't
go to school today I have to much homework.
528. I once got out
of taking a German test by telling the teacher that I got Poison Ivy
on un show able parts of my body, and I took too much Benadryl,
causing me to be dreary and unable to think straight. I did get out
of the test but I had to sit there quietly acting somewhat high with
watery eyes for the entire period.
529. Please excuse
Karen from PE today as she is having difficulty adapting to the use
of her new mechanical toe which she received due to an unfortunate
pogo stick accident.
530. My friend
actually did this to get out of gym class after planning it all out
with people at lunch: Right after changing in the locker rooms she
came out limping and trying to act like she was crying which the
whole time she was laughing, Teacher: "Nicci, what's wrong?" Since
she was trying to cry Cheryl answered, "Nicci was putting on her
pants tripped over her book bag and fell over the bench and hurt her
knee." He believed it and sent her to the office with Sara not
thinking that the nurse was there they went on their way but when
they saw the nurse Nicci stopped and since she wasn't that good of
an actor and she needed to be in pain she told Sara to kick her in
her knee not really believing that Sara would do it she did with
Nicci really crying. The nurse even believed her and she got out of
gym for two days!
531. My friend Lynn
wanted to get out of gym really bad and with her best friend Anna
in gym because the day before she hurt her shoulder in gym class,
Lynn took Anna's doctors note cut of the part with the date and
what's wrong kept the part with the signature and the note saying do
not return to PE class until further notice. So she copied it and
printed it out making it look like a real doctors excuse and it
worked, until the end of the quarter the teacher said so further
must be long and she said ya it might not be for another month: This
is a true story but I wouldn't recommend trying it you could get in
a lot of trouble for it!!! Thanx!!!
532. At my school
the teachers don't let you leave class to go to the washroom so here
is an excuse I've used: "I really gotta go to the washroom and if
you donít let me go I will have to pee my pants and then they will
be all wet so I will have to wear yours *pause* Ya, um, Bye!Ē
533. What not to say
to your teacher when you don't have your homework:
Well Mr./Mrs. (teachers name) the reason I don't have my big
important project done that was due today goes something like
this..... Last night when I was about to start my huge project, that
I put off for the last night, my nice puppy came up to me and said,
"Hey look over there you fat lazy human-its a distraction." So I
turned around, but I saw nothing. When I turned back around to start
my project I saw that my dog had barfed on my homework and then
eaten it. While I was trying to get my dog to barf it back up Big
Foot came crashing through my bedroom wall and picked up my dog in
his hairy hands and quickly ran away to the world of Big Feet to eat
my dog. Seeing that my dog was about to die I hopped on my 4-wheeler
to watch the show. Then when we were on the outskirts of town an
amazing thing happened- Godzilla came out of a lake and burned
Bigfoot to a crisp using his bad flaming breath. But Godzilla didn't
get the chance to eat my dog either because 15 magical dust bunnies
came riding in on constipated sea horses and ate Godzilla from head
to toe. Once the cannibalistic dust bunnies were done eating they
gave me my dog back. On my way home from this painful ordeal I was
stopped in my tracks by 6 aliens with lasers, they ordered me on
their ship. On the ship they did all sorts of experiments on me and
my dog, then they let me go. But by the time I got home it was 9:30
and I had to go to bed. In the morning when I woke up I couldn't do
the project because I was constipated and I was taking a crap all
morning. That, Mr./Mrs. (Teachers Name) is why I don't have my big
534. A friend of
mine is going to college. A fifteen page paper was coming due in
which she had not had time to work on. Her instructor said the
papers could be faxed to her on or before the due date. Which was
just before Christmas. My friend faxed fifteen blank pages having a
written confirmation giving her Christmas break to finish the
assignment and insisting that the fax machine must not have worked.
535. This one is
risky, but AWESOME if done right. It got me out of my senior project
in my high school economics class. We had to make a company profile.
I hadn't done a damn thing by the time it was due. I turned in a
binder to the teacher with nothing but a cover page. Then, I
immediately asked her if she could go pick up something I had
printed from the teacher's lounge. She left my binder sitting on her
desk. I took it back. The next day, she told me she'd lost my
company profile... she's looked everywhere for it but couldn't find
it. She gave me a 100%.
536. A rabid
squirrel bit me and I broke out in hives.
537. To Whom it may
concern: Please excuse my daughter Kim Marie for being sick
yesterday, she caught one of my bad flue, colds, and allergies. She
may have to go to a different class during MATH, and SCIENCE. The
doctor said that to much NUMBERS and to much SCIENCE STUFF may break
my daughter's brain from to much education. THANK YOU
538. This one was
written by an adult and it worked. The note went... To whom it may
concern: Our digital camera is broken so David was not able to take
photos of the process of preparation of his 'Flan'.
539. I remember I
forgot to do my math homework, so when my teacher asked for it, I
told her "was to busy watching TV." She said that wasn't very good,
so I said, "What should I do when I'm chugging soda?" My teacher
said I should go to bed an hour early, and I said "So should I go to
bed at 3?" She thought I was being fresh, so I added "It would be a
dull party if it ended at 2." She sent me to the dean's office for
being "fresh." So the dean said "Did you have a party last night?" I
said no, and my dean asked if I stayed up until 4, I said no, and
then he asked if I had been forcing myself awake with soda, and I
said "No, and I'll bet you my teacher said I didn't do my homework
540. Sorry that Jack
missed school he was very ill after his aunt kissed him on the
541. One of my
friends had a day off school, his parents are teachers but wrote
this note for him: Please excuse my son from school as he had the
shits with it.
542. My friend Pat
is a diabetic. One semester he decided to go on a three day beer
binge with about two weeks left in the semester. Needless to say, he
became very ill with a blood sugar problem and was unable to attend
class for the remainder of the semester. On the night of the last
day of classes, Pat and I were going into my dorm room while a
professor of his happened to be having a beer with my neighbors
across the hall. They had their door open. The professor saw Pat and
asked him where he had been for the past two weeks. Pat decided to
be completely honest with him and said that he went on a binge and
got very sick. The professor said, "You went on a binge?" Pat said,
"Yes." The professor said, "And you're diabetic?" Pat said, "Yes."
The professor said, "You friggin' IDIOT!" and let him go.
543. One day I woke
up real early and got ready for school when I was finished it was
about 4:00 and I had 2 hours to go but I fell asleep and when I woke
up it was 7:59 and my mom came through the door she heard me and
said I'll take you to school when I got to school and in the
classroom my teach said why are you late my boyfriend covers for me
and says oh her house was locked when she got home and she was
outside all night and her parents both have night shift and I nod my
head little did she know that really happened to me.
544. Well for this
one class you need your book everyday and we have homework in it
everyday... just tell the teacher you took the book home to do the
homework but you forgot it there, then they can't possibly get mad
545. I never really
liked math so since I lived on a cliff in the mountains, one day
when I went to school and my teacher asked for my homework, I told
him this: I was sitting out on the porch last night, doing my
homework, and the biggest tarantula I ever saw came crawling out
from under the porch, so as I went and got my step dad, a wind must
have came and blew my homework right off the cliff. My teacher was
amazed but I didn't get detention.
546. Use this if you
get caught cheating on a test. I had this really old Social Studies
Teacher in 6th grade. We had to take this Vocab Quiz, and I didn't
study at all. So the class started the quiz. So then when my friend
finishes he gives me a sheet of paper that had all the answers on
it. So halfway through the test the teacher stairs right at me. I
tried to look unsuspicious, so I just sat there. Then the teacher
said, "I want you to sit over here". Then she grabs my papers out of
my hands and sees that I cheated. My parents had to sign that I
cheated on. She stapled the papers together. So then when I got home
I very carefully took apart the staple. Then I gave her a sheet with
10 words that she had to sign. She was a little concerned, but not
that much. Then I stapled the pieces of paper back together. It
looked as if I didn't even touch the paper. Next day in the class I
handed it to her and still got a good grade!! Man, these teachers
really underestimate us.
547. Use this excuse
if your late. I had a really bad headache this morning when I woke
up so I decided not to go to school. Then the pain went away so I
decided to come. My brother used this excuse and it worked.
548. A friend of
mine showed up late for class and when the teacher asked where he
said, "I was at a restaurant and they were backed up and our order
was late so by the time we got our order lunch was already over so
we quickly ate it and rushed back." And when the teacher asked him
for the excuse he handed her the receipt.
549. I didn't get my
homework done because my dad had me picking all the tomatoes from
the garden because it was supposed to frost.
550. I didn't get my
homework done because I had to pick dandelions till dark so that my
dad could make wine.
551. Sorry I'm late,
teacher but I took another bus to school and I ended up in an
552. I actually used
this excuse, at my previous school. PE Excuse :- Teacher: Where's
your note? Pupil: I just gave it to you? Teacher: No you didn't!
Pupil: Yes I did, I think you have been hit in the head with too
many balls! Teacher: (Feeling
embarrassed) Just accepts this!
553. If u have
forgotten your homework the best way of getting out of it is to
say... sorry (sir/miss) but my cleaners thought it was rubbish and
threw it away. I have tried it and it does work.
554. I didn't come
to school yesterday because my alarm is plugged in the outlet and my
cat unplugged the cord so my alarm didn't go off.
555. Tell your
teacher: I left my work on the window sill and the window was open.
I stupidly forgot that it was raining and when I came to get my
work, it was soaked! Now it's drying on the radiator at home. Try
it, it really works!
556. True Story: I
forgot my homework in my printer (I kept telling myself to get it,
up until I had to leave), and I told me English teacher this and she
said too bad! It was so harsh!... like she's never forgotten
557. Teacher: Why
didn't you do your homework? Student: I lost my pen.
558. If your teacher
is a boring teacher (all of them are) then this is the excuse for
you!!!!! Teacher: Why aren't you doing your work? Student: Because
my writing arm hurts and I have a head ache. Teacher: Then go to the
front office to lye down. Student in their mind ,mission
559. Please excuse
my friend and I from school we have hip hop fever.
560. My friend once
didn't do his homework and when he came to school he said that he
was sick all day. The next day he didn't come to school. I had faked
a note for him. I was only about 11. It said Brian didn't make it to
school yesterday because halfway to school he forgot his pants.
Please let him go. I signed my name instead of his mothers name. Me
and him got detention for a week.
561. This was used
by myself and another friend. It's half true. Our homework was due,
and we didn't even start it, so our excuse was that my friends dad
was in hospital (True) and my friend had spent lots of time in their
with her dad, and I, myself could not do my part because my friend
had the sheets and she wasn't home much so we couldn't work on it.
It worked and we got a week extension.
562. To get out of
PE: Simply cut your shoestring slightly and tear it the rest of the
way and claim that you shoestring broke and you cant tie your shoe.
I tried this and it actually worked.
563. Well this one
actually worked for me... I was supposed to write a paper for
history class and I hadn't done it.... so I took a blank disk and
chewed on it for a bit and then I cracked it open and played with
that thing inside so it looked like it had been chewed... I took
that disk to my teacher and through my tears I told her that my
sister's dog had puppies and they were teething and apparently one
bit through the disk that somehow ended up on the floor... and I got
564. My friend
actually used this! Every week we had a practice worksheet and he
did not do his. As the teacher was collecting them he told her that
he did not understand the material ( which was adding and
subtracting) and that he couldn't get there early enough to ask her
for help and she believed him.
565. I was in a goat
pen with my uniform and the goats ate it.
566. So one day I
had an oral examination from physics. I didn't know a thing so this
is what I did: I told my teacher that my neighbor (the old guy next
door had a
heart attack) so me and my dad had to drive him to the hospital. We
spent whole morning with him because he has no family and felt very
lonely. It really worked. I even was excused from those two last
hours of physics because I told teacher id like to visit him in a
hospital. Just make a sad face and tell that he was like a
grandfather to you and what do you know he may even die on the day
of the math test. (I'm so cruel)
567. One time I
didn't do my homework and I told the teacher that I left it in my
textbook. So she said bring it in tomorrow. It really does work!!
568. I have tried
this and it actually works!! Tell your teacher: It was my cousins
birthday and I was trying to do my homework. When I went up to get a
drink my little 5 year old cousin grabbed some textas and thought
she would help out. I came back in and my homework was a colorful
569. For not doing
homework: First you have to understand this one only works if the
homework you were suppose to do is not going to be graded but they
wanted you to do it anyway. Oh and this got me a week of detention.
TEACHER: Why didn't you do your homework? STUDENT: Do you teach me
and not get paid? TEACHER: No?!. STUDENT: Then I'm not going to do
homework and not get a grade! This one actually got a laugh from my
classmates and they agreed, until the teacher gave me the detention.
Then they all shut up.
570. Years ago, the
family went to Florida for school spring break. We ran into bad
weather driving back, and decided to stop early and check into a
motel. Of course, that meant we missed school on Monday. My mother
had no problem with that. She wrote notes for each of us that on
Monday we were in no state to attend school. I've always wanted to
use that excuse at work since I live in New Hampshire and work in
571. This really was
a true excuse from a boy in my class who didn't do his homework!!
Teacher: Josh where's your homework? Josh: I forgot is because my
little sister chocked on a 5 cent piece and was coughing up blood so
we had to go to the hospital. Well at lunchtime me and some friends
went up to his little sister and asked her if this happened and boy
did Josh get into trouble.
572. "Please excuse
Nolan for being late to class this morning. He and I had quite a few
problems that we needed to work out. If he does this again.......
please excuse his being absent from school."
573. Teacher: And
why were you late? Me: Because I was outside doing homework for this
574. One day I told
my teacher I was late for class because a dog chased me through the
halls and every time I tried to run to class he'd block the door so
I couldn't pass.
575. I learned a
great excuse if you're ever late, you simply tell the teacher. "On
the way to school our car broke down, and this is why I hate the
community, because nobody helps other people!" It worked for me.
576. This works very
well and is often true in college, I'm late because I was at a bar
got kicked out wound up in Detox and they just let me out.
577. Excuse for
missing class: "I'm sorry I missed class yesterday... My fish had
just died and I cried my eyes out for it... I was really sad and
that's why I wasn't able to show up for school..." If you really act
it out... it will work :))
578. Sorrow I forgot
my homework, but my dog pissed on it and it's still in the dryer.
579. I left my
homework on top of the fish tank, and then my fish ate the work and
my cat ate the fish and my dog ate the cat. The dog had to go to the
vets with indigestion, so now I have nothing to show for my
homework. I'm so sorry.
580. This may sound
a little like some of the others but this is true and it works. I
skipped school for 2 weeks and phoned up to avoid letting my parents
find out, my excuse was that I was suffering from food poisoning and
had the shits, I also said that my parents were on holiday so it was
impossible for me to leave the house and get some medication, a week
later I decided to go food shopping and saw my teacher in there when
she asked me why I was there I explained that I had managed to take
the medication but I managed to knock myself out for 2 days by
falling down the stairs and because my parents were away no one
could help me, she believed me and told the school to let me of PE
for as long as I needed.
581. Well, one day,
me and my mom were having an argument about me not completing my
homework on time (regular teenager stuff) and I came up with a good
excuse, which made her angry, because she wasn't right. So on her
way out of my room, (since the door was closed and right behind her)
she slammed straight into the door, face first. I was practically
crying with laughter. What's even funnier, is that she stood there
for about one minute. She then turned around and asked me what was
so funny. This made me laugh harder. I think she failed to realize
she had just walked into a door!
582. Mom I cant go
to school today because I'm still recovering from the shock of
almost drowning in the bath tub last night.
583. As a teacher,
the best I've heard was: "The police discovered grandma's crop so we
had to go to court yesterday."
584. I left my
homework assignment on the bus, there's no way they can disprove
it... works a charm!
585. This really
happened to a friend when I was younger. A bully named John was
hitting my friend and the teacher caught him and he said he was
making sexist jokes about me and he deserved to be punched.
586. My high school
had a bad intersection right in front of it. Several people have
been killed in bad car accidents over the years. Thankfully, they
have now fixed it. Anyways I was on my way to school, when I
approached stand-still traffic about a mile away from the school.
Luckily I had left about a half-hour earlier on this particular
morning. It took about 40 minutes to get to a back road which led to
another entrance to the school campus. I pulled into the parking lot
a few minutes late. I go to the school office explaining that I
would have been on time, but I was stuck behind the traffic, and
since they were only letting one car through at a time, it took
quite a while for me to get to the school. The woman looked at me
and said, "Well maybe from now on, you need to get here before
accidents happen." I was so mad, I scribbled my name illegibly in
the sign-in late book, stormed out of the office, and headed
straight to my homeroom, as I was only a few minutes late. Luckily
my homeroom teacher was a little bit behind in taking attendance. I
told her what had just happened, she laughed and marked me on time.
587. I needed to do
a report on Louisa May Alcott. I had about 3 weeks to do it. When
the three weeks were up, I didn't have it done. When I got to
school, I told my teacher that I really have been trying to do my
homework, it's just we live on a farm and every night my parents
make me do a lot of strenuous work, so every night I'm too tired to
do my homework, and I fall asleep right away. My teacher actually
bought it,( the dunce) and said I could finish it this weekend and
hand it in Monday.
588. I was entering
contact about 15 minutes late I was scared I was going to be marked
tardy and get a detention. So I walked in, and when the teacher
asked where I was I told him I was out chasing Raccoons, he believed
me and I got off tardy and detention free!
589. Sorry I'm late!
But the bell rang before I got here.
590. Once I said to
my teacher I would give you a excuse but I haven't got any so I
would tell you the truth my pig ate it and died.
591. Take a floppy
and bust it but don't make it look broken! Tell your teacher that
you stayed up until your bed time working on typing up your report
and loading it to a floppy . Then tell your teacher that I thought I
saved it but then when I tried it it in the morning it wouldn't load
and u almost missed the bus so I had 2 bring in the floppy! (it will
592. Well this isn't
really an excuse but a way we managed to get through school. It was
our Midterms for Uni and I was in my final year. Having gone through
3 years I felt I had the studying/exams down. So I took off for
Montreal for the weekend with friends, while I had an exam Monday as
soon as I got back. I returned Sunday night just in time to get
enough sleep for the final exam. Lucky for me I had some good
friends who where well "prepared" for this exam. During the exam
they managed to slip me a few rulers to help me "draw" when I turned
over the ruler, I found all the answers to the M/C exam. Not only
did I have an awesome weekend, but I passed the class with a good
593. A friend of
mine is a medical student who was in trouble with the Dean over poor
attendance. The night before he had an appointment to see him, he
was out with a bunch of friends drinking somewhat heavily. One of
them decided to steel his phone in the middle of a club and dial the
Dean's office number that was stored inside. He boisterously
announced that his friend 'wouldn't be comin' in tomorrow coz he's
f***ing pissed!' (quite drunk) 'and didn't give a S**T!'. Despite
this convincing reason, my friend still had to go into the office
the following morning where the answer phone message was played to
him by the dean and in front of all the office staff who claimed
that they'd never heard anything like it in all their time!
594. I'm from
England and I live 200 meters away from my school so there is no
reason for me to be late so I was late by 1 hour one day so I told
the teacher the batteries fell out my alarm clock therefore I could
not hear my alarm.
595. Okay 6th grade
I didn't do my homework so I was out side doing it and then I went
to school 30 min late teacher asked why u late, I got cornered by a
dog and the owner had to tackle it then I ran around to get sweaty
so it would look real hell ya it worked twice for me.
596. I was out
hunting with my dad for deer, and we got lost for 2 days. but
luckily the rescue team found us before we starved to death. I was
too exhausted to come to school.
597. I am so sorry
that I did not make it to my first class I was getting dressed this
morning when I got a phone call from my great grandma saying that
one of her friends had just died and that she needed to talk to
someone and she kept me on the phone for 2 hours.
598. I couldn't do
my homework because my neighbor is a maniac, and he mistook my
homework for his credit card bill. He put gas all over it and lit
599. This really
happened the first day of my volleyball practice! I'm sorry I was
gone yesterday the battery in my mom's car died and then the hood
got stuck shut so when we finally got that open to jump start it we
realized we didn't have another car to jump start it with.
600. Okay, so one
day, before thanks giving we were given homework, and I didn't do
it. So the Tuesday it was do and the teacher asked me where it was,
I said 'Well, I went to my aunt's as soon as I got home, and came
back late last night'. The teacher asked 'Why didn't you do it at
your aunt's?' I replied 'She has homeworkaphobia, which means she
has a fear of homework.'. So the teacher believed me!
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