The Mother Of All Excuses Place

School and Homework Excuses 401 to 600.

401. I won’t be coming to school today or ever again, I have discovered I can make the average yearly teacher salary in one night at on line poker. See ya!
402. Teacher: Why are you so late? You: Well, thing is, my toaster's really old-fashioned and it takes AGES to heat up!
403. Paint your nose green and shout out silly phrases, have a friend say you have a green nose sickness. That is how you get out of p.e.
404. I was walking to school when the aliens came down and abducted me, they fed information into my brain which made my brain bigger and bigger until it exploded and it weighed more than 4 solar masses thus forming a black hole I got sucked into it and I traveled faster than the speed of light causing me to create my own friction on myself which superheated me and turned me into plasma I exploded into another dimension and by the time I got back from the other dimension I was late for school. Tell the teacher this and they'll be to confused to give you detention.
405. On the day that my chemistry term paper was due, I realized that I had left the 50 page report sitting in my printer tray at home. When my teacher asked me where it was, I responded, "Oh, that? Its not important. But if you must know, It died two days ago." The next day, when I brought it in , I said, "Miracles can happen! My paper rose again on the third day! Praise the Lord!" -- I received full credit.
406. My daughter will not be in class today because she cracked her head and went to the hospital her brain will be removed and switched so please excuse her I advise you not to give her homework for about two months, thank you. This one was actually used by a 11 year old girl .
407. I didn't do my math homework because the batteries in my calculator ran out!
408. For being late: Teacher: Why are you late?? You: Well you see my family and I just bought a dog.. and this morning when I woke up my dog was lying on the floor... dead! (go in to details how he had died and the exact place and stuff like that) the teacher gave me detention for 2 months for lying to her later the teacher had called my mom to see if it was true.. and it was! She was sooo embarrassed she let me go for detention and now she believes what ever I say! (true story)
409. My sister fused the house with her hair dryer and my alarm clock was reset.
410. I did my homework but I woke up late and I forgot it by my computer.
411. For school/homework excuses: When I was in 9nth grade geometry honors, the teacher didn't really check our homework. Sometimes she would glance over it to make sure we did all of it, but usually you could get away with stuff. I did the following on many occasions: I hate proofs, especially two column proofs, but I don't particularly like paragraph proofs either. Anyway, if the teacher doesn't really grade your homework you can usually write a paragraph proof that goes something like "I have no idea how to prove this. I'm completely stumped." One time, I put "I really don't feel like proving this right now." The teacher looked directly at it, circled it, and gave me full credit on the homework.
412. Here's how my Spanish teacher checked homework: He handed out calendars for each month. Every day we had homework, he would walk around to see that we had it, then stamp that day on the calendar. I guess one day he was feeling rushed or lazy, but the girl that sat next to me hadn't done her homework, but she happened to have a sheet of old homework layin' around, so the teach just walked by and stamped without looking at it.
413. Teacher asks you why you haven't got any books. You say, "I left them in school and the school was set on fire by people." (this really happened to me. My school was set on fire by vandals and loads of stuff was destroyed)
414. Sorry I was late for school, but my mom would not let me out of the house until I flossed my cat.
415. (This is true) In my 9th grade English class, we had to do this big long essay about respect and common courtesy and behavior, because we were loud that day. Well that Jesse came over and took it out of my printer and said that if I wouldn't let him watch TV. that he would eat it. I didn't believe him, he ate half of it.. :( When I told that to my English teacher, he told me I was crazy and to go sit down. (I did not get to make it up :|)
416. In 7th grade, This girl was late for 3rd period P.E., and when she finally showed up for class her excuse was " I forgot I had class."
417. Please excuse Gordy from school today, he left his brain on the subway.
418. Once our homework for P.E. was to bring a tennis ball to school (to play tennis), but my dog chewed it up. Therefore I could use the excuse "My dog Ate My Homework!"
419. True: I did my homework on the toilet and my father used it for toilet paper.
420. Please excuse my son TJ from P.E. today. Saturday he was outside playing football and he lost his foot. We have been searching all over for it but we still haven't found it.
421. When I was in grade 6, I was usually late getting back to school after lunch, and usually I got a detention for it. So one day I was late again and as usual my teacher asked me why I was late, not thinking I told him that our furnace broke and the toothpaste was frozen so I had to go next door and wait for it to thaw. Well he laughed so hard he told me if I could keep coming up with excuses as good as that I won't get another detention, and he was right!!!
422. This one time when I was in class, this dude didn't have his homework. As always, Mrs. Jones asked, "Teaky, why don't you have your homework?", He said, "Well last night when I had gotten done with the assignment, I had laid it down beside me. My baby sister came over to me. When I looked up, she had it all in her mouth and was all eaten and chewin' it". Then this other time Teaky didn't have his homework again, and this other dude named Niko was like, "Hey Teaky, did your sister eat it again?!!" The whole class bust out laughing!!!!!
423. If you don't want to do your homework, present a load of random letters in the Windings font to your teacher and say that you are sorry that your PC is broken and that is all it will print out!
424. This 1 really works! The night before you have school the next day you go to your parents and say, "Mommy/Daddy (in your sick voice) I have a stomach ache. Then at 10 pm to 3 o'clock am, flush the toilet then get back in bed. 5 minutes later flush the toilet again. Do it one more time and then go into your parents room and say" Mommy/Daddy (in your sick voice) I have diarrhea for the 4th time. They will end up letting you stay home from school. I did that on 1/6/03.
425. My dog keeps mistaking my homework for the neighbors cat... by the way my cat is blind.
426. My son was off school today because I told him to clean his room. It was very messy and took him all day.
427. I didn't do my work because you said it was optional.
428. Please excuse Jim today he is constipated and he is stuck on the potty.
429. For Art if you must draw something: Sorry I left for the bathroom and my cousin who is not right in the mind put it in his mouth and swallowed it. I couldn't do it again because we were just about to leave the farm where I had drawn it and my inspiration left me.
430. This was used by a kid in the 5th grade: Please excuse Shadi for shitting on the floor, he couldn't reach the toilet.
431. I'm late all the time/ miss school frequently because I am anemic. I am pale from this, not from being up all night partying. This is why I yawn, this is why I am tired. It is not because I drank too much and slept too little.
432. Any excuse in the world, however crazy, will work at school if you are a female, smiling sweetly at a male teacher; trust me, I have used the maddest excuses on my male teachers for three years and never got a detention. I have done everything, including 'Aliens landed on Earth, took me hostage, stole everything I had including my carefully done paper, then released me just in time for school, returning everything except the paper'. I tried that one a female teacher once for a dare, and she gave me an A for Imagination.
433. I was absent from school last week because I was bitten by a snake and died, but luckily I was reincarnated this morning.
434. (True) My mom made chicken wings, its my sisters favorite, she was so excited she ate 2 at the same time and she started chocking on them. We took her to the hospital. I tried doing the homework but I was so worried about her I couldn't do it. (try crying)
435. so I'm 12 and I stole 42 pens from a teacher and all I did was say my friend did it. (teachers never bust squealers)
436. I've used this one so many times... tell them that you will print it after class and hand it in before the day is done. Then go to the them the next day and say, "I came to your office but you weren't there." It works 8 out of 10 times. The other 2 out of 10 doesn't work cause they say they were there all day.
437. Limp around all day then when you get to P.E., have a friend pass by and say oh yeah he/she has been limping around all day. Then make up a story on how you hurt yourself! Worked for me!!!
438. One time I was late for P.E. (about 15 min. late) so our class was already done stretching and when we showed up my teacher was about to give us extended study when I finally said that we were late because we were getting help with Math from our teacher and she didn't have any more late passes.
439. I USED THIS REALLY: I couldn't come to school today, my bus driver had to much Viagra and ran off the road.
440. "I couldn't practice my tuba because the cows wouldn't give milk."
441. You: There really is no excuse for missing my homework. Teacher: Your really usually filled with them. You: Well I didn't have time to check the excuse website last nite, sorry!
442. Please excuse my son from school as he is suffering from a hangover!
443. I don't have my book bag today because last night my hamster got out of the cage and died in my book bag!
444. Absolutely true story!! Once in grade 3 I had to use this excuse: Sorry I was late Ms./Mr./Mrs. (teacher) I was handcuffed to a tree and I couldn't reach the safety switch. I ts true my friends and I were playing a game and one of my friends brought handcuffs to school (metal ones not the crappy plastic ones) and when the bell rang they just left me there and my hands were too far apart to reach the switch.
445. I have poop that won't come out so I can't go to school.
446. True story (my older brother used it): I am unable to turn in my homework because my little brother tore it up. (I really did, I was really pissed of at him, but it was a long time ago so I forgot why).
447. Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: Still in my pen Miss.
448. My brother was caught selling cigarettes at school that he had taken from his dad. His excuse was that by selling them his father was smoking less and less likely to die!!
449. My homeroom is a mobile classroom, you know, cheap walls, stuck in the middle of our school parking lot. This was because we had an overabundance of students and did not have enough rooms. Anyway, it is the science lab so we did not have desks, rather, cubby holes against the wall. We were instructed that when we left, we were not allowed to come back for anything. So, the convenient excuse for all students in my class was "I left it in my cubby,". Well, one day, a student notorious for not handing in work told our Math teacher "I left it in my cubby." This must have been the 34th time he used that excuse in this class. Without faltering, the teacher snapped back "Go get it!!!!!" "But I'm not allowed," said the student. My teacher wrote him a signed note to give to our homeroom teacher, and marched him over to the mobile classroom. Upon searching his cubby while both teachers looked on, he said "hmmmm, I know its in here...." Twenty minutes later all the papers were on the floor and both teachers were pawing through it. He eventually admitted he never did it. He got three detentions , one for lying to a teacher, one for continuing the charade for 30 minutes, and one for disrupting both classes.
450. I didn't do my homework because my cat peed on it.
451. One day me and a friend were late to general music class, we were late because we were talking about the NFL playoffs from that weekend and lost track of time completely, so we got to class and our teacher ask for a pass, we didn't have one, so we went to the office and asked for a pass, they asked why we were late and that question totally caught us off guard, we simply replied that we were talking to our science teacher about our assignment. And it worked like a charm!!
452. Excuse for not coming to class or work: (true story of a friend of mine)... I can't come in today. My upstairs neighbor's cat is stuck in the ceiling of my bathroom and we can't get him out. (Followed by, we tried to get to the cat by standing on the sink but that fell down and now there is a cascade of water down the wall.)
453. Actual excuse I had for not being in class... In college I had physics on M, W, F. One Wednesday, I slept in past my morning physics class thinking it was Tuesday and I didn't have class until the afternoon.
454. Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Me: Dunno. At this point the teacher just turned around and carried on with class without saying a word.
455. This is the funniest thing that I ever did. I had to read a passage which started 'One of the main reasons...' Instead I sat silently in my seat. My teacher thinking that I didn't understand read the first word, 'one' I then replied 'of' and waited until she said 'the' again I said the next word 'main' This actually worked for the full sentence until my very pissed off teacher made me leave the class.
456. I actually used this around Christmas time: I was about an hour late to 1st period and I came in and said that my mom had blown a fuse with the Christmas lights which made my alarm clock turn off and I didn't wake up for school on time... -------------------------------------------- I was in drama and had a line test (had to memorize all my lines) and my excuse for not knowing all them was that I was sick (and I actually was sick a week earlier, but I'm such a good actress that my sickness carried into the following week), so I told him I was sick and that I was on medication that made me drowsy so I was sleeping all the time and didn't have time to study my lines........ my theory is, if I can fool a DRAMA teacher with those lines, they GOTTA work! :o)
457. This excuse is best for the last two trimesters/semesters. "I have to go to court every Friday." That way the teacher thinks that you are trying to straiten up, and will give you a little leeway.
458. One day I was late for school and I forgot I had an exam that morning, my teacher wouldn't let me sit my exam so I told him my bus got bogged and we had to wait for another bus to pick us up, he felt bad and let em sit the exam the next day.
459. This kid in my math class actually did this: We always stapled all of our homework to a little slip every Monday (the day we turned it all in) and so one time when he didn't do his homework, he stapled his biology notes to it and made up some scores for his assignment. The teacher didn't even notice, and he got an A. He has done that ever since. I wonder if he ever even does his homework anymore?
460. In my English class, everyone dislikes our teacher, so one day, we decided that someone was going to go to the bathroom, call the school from a cell phone, and ask to talk to their "second cousin" (our teacher). One day we did it, but the kid forgot his name, so we are going to try it very soon! Then the office would call the teacher up to take a phone call, while we did whatever we wanted.
461. Well, my cat had diarrhea and shit all over my homework.
462. I had lice yesterday and it took 2 days to get rid of.
463. This morning my pet jumped out of the window and I had to chase it, but when I caught it school was already over. [my stupid teacher believed it]
464. I teach and received this excuse from a student who returned to school late after lunch: I was at home helping my little brother polish his models, sorry! Won all-time top honors with me after 18 years of teaching.
465. I am sorry I wasn't in school yesterday, my brother wouldn't wake up so I had to stay home and keep trying to wake him up.
466. When your teacher asks why you couldn't finish your homework, tell him/her that the power went off because of a mix up paying the bill and with no lights or computers you couldn't see to do it.
467. Excuses for getting out of P.E.:
1. I am sorry. My child suffers from acute schizophrenia and entering the changing rooms could permanently change his/her personality.
2. ____ has currently got a case of Icantbebothereditus and cannot undertake in P.E. today. Any form of exercise could be fatal. If exercise should occur, consult a GP immediately.
3. (only works if you are a girl and have a male P.E. teacher) ____________ is pregnant. If you make her do P.E., I'll tell the Head it's yours.
4. Please excuse ________ from P.E. as he/she is radioactive. Need I say more?
5. If you make me do P.E., I'll sue the school for harassment.
468. For getting out of detention 4 missing home work:
1. Rip a page out of your book, crumple it and then put it in your pocket.
2. Tell your teacher that it ripped out of your book.
3. Do the home work when you get the chance and then hand it in.
469. When you are asleep in school and the teacher wakes you up, quickly cross your hands like you are playing and quickly say, "And thank you for my teacher. Amen" This really works!
470. One morning I was in a really big rush and I grabbed my newly-washed PE kit from the laundry basket. When I took it out my bag the changing room was filled with a horrible smell. My excuse for why I couldn't wear my PE kit was: "My cat likes to sit in our laundry basket, and when I took my PE kit from it this morning I didn't notice that...er...it used the laundry basket as a toilet!" The teacher burst out laughing and let me off. PHEW!
471. Yesterday my mom made chicken wings for dinner and when dad was eating them he chocked on one and it was stuck in his throat. So we rushed to the hospital and I tried to do my homework at the hospital but with all the noise in the halls I just couldn't. I'm sorry. :)
472. Ok... My friend told me about this happening... A group of people decided to skip school for whatever reason. They went to a restaurant that was near the school and asked the waitress to call them out sick. She did it and the school believed her...
473. Last Week I was studying and my friend's dog bit me and sent me to the ER.
474. This an excuse that works every time with my teachers. Miss: Where's you're homework? You: I can't get it there's a spider in my locker and I have a phobia of spiders. I'll give it to you whenever the spider moves away. ^_^
475. Instructor: Why weren't you at dance practice? You: You know it isn't safe to ride a bike at night.
476. This one works, I used it! I don't have my homework Mrs./Mr.______ because my pen exploded in my backpack destroying my homework.
477. I was late to school because a cow was laying in the middle of the road blocking traffic.
478. One time I did not wanted to go to school I put all my clean cloths on my dirty cloths basket that way my mom would not make to go to school . And it worked!
479. It's against my religion to do homework on a day ending in "y".
480. Teacher: Are you chewing gum??? You: Um no, I just have a sore jaw.
481. You: Sorry I got a bad report card Mom, its probably because the stress that has been going around, Its common u know. Mom: Then why don't you stop spending time with your friends? You: That's the only thing that helps me unwind, being with friends also helps with my social abilities.
482. This is one someone I know actually got to use: "I haven't been in school the last two weeks because you ran me over!"
483. I did my homework, really I did It's just that I was followed by spies on the way to school, and I had to eat it to stop it falling into enemy hands!
484. MOM: What are you doing outside when your homework isn't done? KID: I think I need a hearing aid I thought you said to go outside when your homework isn't done.
485. I was late for class one day because as I was taking a bite out of a chocolate cupcake in the hand of my friend whose locker is next to mine another friend of mine walked up and smeared it all over my face and it got in my hair, on my clothes, shoes, in my locker, my friend's locker next to mine, on my face and all down my friend's shirt. The friend who shoved the cupcake in my face ran merely off to class as the bell rang and I and the owner of the cupcake stood speechless staring at each other. We went to class with the cupcake still on us and the teacher allowed us to be late and to go wash the cupcake off as our fellow classmates laughed hysterically at us.
486. Please excuse my sorry ass son from P.E. today. Last night while he was jacking off to Britney Spears, he hurt his arm.
487. My friend actually used this he stuck his un-finished homework in his mouth ripped it up (or chewed it) and said his dog ate it my other friend and I started cracking up!
488. Please excuse my daughter for being late on Tuesday. A pigeon flew into her open window and flew around her room messing up everything and we had to chase it out of the house.
489. This is an excuse I used to get out of a English final (I am Mexican and was taking a English as second language class)- "Professor, no puedo tomar el examen porque te oro." ("Teacher, I cannot take the exam because I hate you.") The teacher did not understand Spanish and never made me take the exam. Que suerte! I would not try this unless you are assured that the teacher knows no Spanish.
490. I couldn't turn in my homework because I was thinking to hard to actually do it that I couldn't think to turn it in.
491. It flew out the bus window!
492. When I was in middle school, I was in the journalism class, along with several other geniuses who either forgot to do or lost their homework. I never managed to find a good excuse, but one of my fellow journalists would infallibly use the excuse, "Oh, I had yearbook/newspaper work to do." It turns out that he not only got off the hook, but became a teacher favorite for this excuse. Go figure.
493. One day I was late for school and it had been raining and I was late so I used the excuse that I fell in a puddle and had to change. (this works only if it has been raining)
494. When asked why he was late, a boy in my class said "but I'm not late... I'm early for tomorrow!"
495. Once at the elementary school I went to, a girl was asked to go to the office to get a manila folder. When she got there she asked for a 'Vanilla folder'! After a few minutes of the staff asking her if the teacher didn't want a strawberry or chocolate folder, she got what she was sent for... needless to say she was extremely embarrassed.
496. kid in my math class did this once. He didn't do his homework that night so he squirted water in his backpack all over old homework. He told the teacher that his water bottle exploded and she said don't worry about it and he could make it up later. She really thought that his water bottle exploded!
497. This really happened please excuse my daughter as she stabbed herself with a craft knife in her left ankle when cutting cardboard.
498. Mom: Why has your gerbil got a piece of your report? You: Well, see I was about to give it to you, um, but I got distracted by the ur, dog, and he ran at me and I was so shocked my hand flew back and the gerbil um, stuck his head out of the cage and ate it. Yea, that's what happened.
499. I apologies for (your name) 's lateness to school today it was my fault, I needed his/her help to strap on our dog's prosthetic leg. Sometimes when the dog is not feeling too corporative I have trouble attaching it to the little stump that she has left. It wont happen again. Thank you sincerely (parents name).
500. I can't come to school today my dog ran away and he walks me to school.
501. Once, in second form at High School, I told my math teacher that I hadn't done my homework because I had to fly to Stockholm to collect my Nobel Prize for Literature.
502. This is for if you forgot my home work. You erase the work you've writhen in you agenda, you erase it and writhe it for the next week and say to your teacher I did not do it it's for next week I got the proof here look in my agenda. Real story I tried it before really works.
503. This really happened last week. I m in 7th grade and I was just getting dressed after gym. A kid stole another kids towel and he kept denying it. I was called in as a witness. It took 45 minutes as the 2 teachers argued with the thief. Then the teachers asked us to make a statement. I wrote down my statement and I purposely stalled to talk to my friends in the hallway buz I new I had a test in my LA class. Well my excuse for the class was that I had spent 20 minutes deciding to remain anonymous for the statement. SHE BELIEVED ME!
504. One day, I got home from school, and I realized I had forgotten my keys! I knocked on the door, and no one answered. So, I knocked again, and no one answered still! I sat on the porch, and I did my homework since there was nothing else to do until my mother got home from work. About a half an hour later, I decided to go to the back door, and try a trick I can do to open the door, and it was then when I discovered that the back door was open, and my mom was home! How clumsy can one person get!
505. This is a true story!: My teacher asked us to bring in a atlas, I didn't I told my teacher our bookcase had been plastered into the wall, naturally he didn't believe me so he phoned home and it was true! The builders had used wet plaster and it has dripped over the bookcase and it had been covered!
506. When a teacher asks why you are late, just reply with the question, "Or is it possible that everyone else is early?"
507. I was once late for school because I got such a fright when my alarm went off that I hit my head on the wall next to bed and knocked myself out. I woke up an hour later with a sore head and a lump the size of an egg.
508. I had left my D&T homework too late and decided to rush it the night before it was due. We had to visit our auntie as we hadn't seen her for ages. Well, during the three hour stay, our car was stolen - with my homework in it! My mum ended up writing a note to the teacher saying what had happened. He let me off due to the fact that it was the best excuse he had heard. He didn't believe me, but it actually happened.
509. Well, I had to drive all the way to school in our old truck, and the heating stopped working, and we got cold, and my daddy couldn't concentrate so we ran off the road into a ditch. Then we had to call a tow truck but we didn't have a phone so we had to hitchhike, and by the time we got to a phone, school was starting! So we called a tow truck, and it towed the car out of the ditch. Then we drove all the way here. And I forgot my homework in the car, because I was so upset that I had almost died. And I'm sorry about being late. (This actually happened to us... and I just did my homework the next day).
510. Actually happened... I showed up at school the next day with my whole foot in a cast-like thing, with 6 stitches for the outside of my toe, and 3 or 4 for the inside! The cut went all the way to the bone, severing the tendon.
     P.S. Yes, it was probably the "stupidest" wound I've ever accidentally inflicted upon myself. (It was back in 1997, I was 17, and hadn't had the sword very long at that time) However, I do still have the sword, but it stays in the sheath 99.5% of the time, and I DON'T take it out if I'm barefoot. ;-)
511. I tried doing my homework I swear but then it got to hard so I asked my parents for help and they tried it but it was just so hard that they took it to work to get some help.
512. An excuse for math teachers; (my own math teacher said that he would accept this excuse. In the last lesson before I left) I had just finished my homework, when I decided to try to divide something by zero. This resulted in my book catching fire.
513. I got In School Suspension because someone threaten me to do it in front of the teacher or else they would beat me up.
514. True story. I live in Tucson, Arizona and have a cousin who is an excellent swimmer so she often competes in Phoenix. One weekend I was finishing my S.S. report while riding in her car. When she dropped me off at home I left my report and notebook in the front seat of her car. When I realized on Monday morning that I was missing them it was too late, she had gone to Phoenix for the week and, seeing as how ALL of my info was in her car, I got an extension.
515. In social studies I had a power point presentation due that I had not completed. Since the unfinished presentation was on the disk in my back pack and my home computer I simply snapped the disk and case and gave them to him with the explanation of "really, I thought that a case was enough to protect my disc on the bus". It worked too and I got an extension.
516. I can't come into school today because it's against my religious principles.
517. Sorry I was late for school miss, I squirted the toothpaste too much and spent all morning getting it back in the tube.
518. A tornado came and destroys my house with my homework in it.
519. Sorry I didn’t come to school the past few days because I got hit at the head then I suffered amnesia and my relatives were trying to help me remember.
520. When asked why I was late for class I responded, the bell rang before I got here.
521. Sorry I have not got my homework because my baby sister got sick all over my work.
522. I'm sorry I was late for school today but my mom lost her car... but this morning she found it.
523. If you have to run for football, like us we had to jump and roll also in this long ass conditioning period and I pretended that I landed on my head wrong and my neck hurt, I didn't have to run after that but the trainer did have a nice long look at my neck to make sure I was alright.
524. I used this excuse a lot when I'm late for school: "I'm not Late I'm just early for tomorrow!!"
525. The reason I don't have my big, important project, which I put off for the last night goes like this: Last night when I was finishing up my homework, my dog came over and threw-up on my homework and then ate it. When I was trying to get him to barf it back up, 12 shiny leprechauns came crashing through my wall on magical unicorns. Then they stole my dog and tried to get away over a beautiful rainbow, but I grabbed my dog's leg just in time. Unfortunately then, the leprechauns sprinkled some magic pixie dust and then a giant alien mother ship took the leprechauns and unicorns along with my dog and took them off to Neverland, where they can fly freely with peter pan and the lost-boys forever.
526. "My dog has a digging addiction and buried my homework."
527. Sorry I can't go to school today I have to much homework.
528. I once got out of taking a German test by telling the teacher that I got Poison Ivy on un show able parts of my body, and I took too much Benadryl, causing me to be dreary and unable to think straight. I did get out of the test but I had to sit there quietly acting somewhat high with watery eyes for the entire period.
529. Please excuse Karen from PE today as she is having difficulty adapting to the use of her new mechanical toe which she received due to an unfortunate pogo stick accident.
530. My friend actually did this to get out of gym class after planning it all out with people at lunch: Right after changing in the locker rooms she came out limping and trying to act like she was crying which the whole time she was laughing, Teacher: "Nicci, what's wrong?" Since she was trying to cry Cheryl answered, "Nicci was putting on her pants tripped over her book bag and fell over the bench and hurt her knee." He believed it and sent her to the office with Sara not thinking that the nurse was there they went on their way but when they saw the nurse Nicci stopped and since she wasn't that good of an actor and she needed to be in pain she told Sara to kick her in her knee not really believing that Sara would do it she did with Nicci really crying. The nurse even believed her and she got out of gym for two days!
531. My friend Lynn wanted to get out of gym really bad and with her best friend Anna not in gym because the day before she hurt her shoulder in gym class, Lynn took Anna's doctors note cut of the part with the date and what's wrong kept the part with the signature and the note saying do not return to PE class until further notice. So she copied it and printed it out making it look like a real doctors excuse and it worked, until the end of the quarter the teacher said so further must be long and she said ya it might not be for another month: This is a true story but I wouldn't recommend trying it you could get in a lot of trouble for it!!! Thanx!!!
532. At my school the teachers don't let you leave class to go to the washroom so here is an excuse I've used: "I really gotta go to the washroom and if you don’t let me go I will have to pee my pants and then they will be all wet so I will have to wear yours *pause* Ya, um, Bye!”
533. What not to say to your teacher when you don't have your homework:
     Well Mr./Mrs. (teachers name) the reason I don't have my big important project done that was due today goes something like this..... Last night when I was about to start my huge project, that I put off for the last night, my nice puppy came up to me and said, "Hey look over there you fat lazy human-its a distraction." So I turned around, but I saw nothing. When I turned back around to start my project I saw that my dog had barfed on my homework and then eaten it. While I was trying to get my dog to barf it back up Big Foot came crashing through my bedroom wall and picked up my dog in his hairy hands and quickly ran away to the world of Big Feet to eat my dog. Seeing that my dog was about to die I hopped on my 4-wheeler to watch the show. Then when we were on the outskirts of town an amazing thing happened- Godzilla came out of a lake and burned Bigfoot to a crisp using his bad flaming breath. But Godzilla didn't get the chance to eat my dog either because 15 magical dust bunnies came riding in on constipated sea horses and ate Godzilla from head to toe. Once the cannibalistic dust bunnies were done eating they gave me my dog back. On my way home from this painful ordeal I was stopped in my tracks by 6 aliens with lasers, they ordered me on their ship. On the ship they did all sorts of experiments on me and my dog, then they let me go. But by the time I got home it was 9:30 and I had to go to bed. In the morning when I woke up I couldn't do the project because I was constipated and I was taking a crap all morning. That, Mr./Mrs. (Teachers Name) is why I don't have my big important project.
534. A friend of mine is going to college. A fifteen page paper was coming due in which she had not had time to work on. Her instructor said the papers could be faxed to her on or before the due date. Which was just before Christmas. My friend faxed fifteen blank pages having a written confirmation giving her Christmas break to finish the assignment and insisting that the fax machine must not have worked. BRILLIANT HUH!
535. This one is risky, but AWESOME if done right. It got me out of my senior project in my high school economics class. We had to make a company profile. I hadn't done a damn thing by the time it was due. I turned in a binder to the teacher with nothing but a cover page. Then, I immediately asked her if she could go pick up something I had printed from the teacher's lounge. She left my binder sitting on her desk. I took it back. The next day, she told me she'd lost my company profile... she's looked everywhere for it but couldn't find it. She gave me a 100%.
536. A rabid squirrel bit me and I broke out in hives.
537. To Whom it may concern: Please excuse my daughter Kim Marie for being sick yesterday, she caught one of my bad flue, colds, and allergies. She may have to go to a different class during MATH, and SCIENCE. The doctor said that to much NUMBERS and to much SCIENCE STUFF may break my daughter's brain from to much education. THANK YOU
538. This one was written by an adult and it worked. The note went... To whom it may concern: Our digital camera is broken so David was not able to take photos of the process of preparation of his 'Flan'.
539. I remember I forgot to do my math homework, so when my teacher asked for it, I told her "was to busy watching TV." She said that wasn't very good, so I said, "What should I do when I'm chugging soda?" My teacher said I should go to bed an hour early, and I said "So should I go to bed at 3?" She thought I was being fresh, so I added "It would be a dull party if it ended at 2." She sent me to the dean's office for being "fresh." So the dean said "Did you have a party last night?" I said no, and my dean asked if I stayed up until 4, I said no, and then he asked if I had been forcing myself awake with soda, and I said "No, and I'll bet you my teacher said I didn't do my homework either."
540. Sorry that Jack missed school he was very ill after his aunt kissed him on the cheek.
541. One of my friends had a day off school, his parents are teachers but wrote this note for him: Please excuse my son from school as he had the shits with it.
542. My friend Pat is a diabetic. One semester he decided to go on a three day beer binge with about two weeks left in the semester. Needless to say, he became very ill with a blood sugar problem and was unable to attend class for the remainder of the semester. On the night of the last day of classes, Pat and I were going into my dorm room while a professor of his happened to be having a beer with my neighbors across the hall. They had their door open. The professor saw Pat and asked him where he had been for the past two weeks. Pat decided to be completely honest with him and said that he went on a binge and got very sick. The professor said, "You went on a binge?" Pat said, "Yes." The professor said, "And you're diabetic?" Pat said, "Yes." The professor said, "You friggin' IDIOT!" and let him go.
543. One day I woke up real early and got ready for school when I was finished it was about 4:00 and I had 2 hours to go but I fell asleep and when I woke up it was 7:59 and my mom came through the door she heard me and said I'll take you to school when I got to school and in the classroom my teach said why are you late my boyfriend covers for me and says oh her house was locked when she got home and she was outside all night and her parents both have night shift and I nod my head little did she know that really happened to me.
544. Well for this one class you need your book everyday and we have homework in it everyday... just tell the teacher you took the book home to do the homework but you forgot it there, then they can't possibly get mad at you.
545. I never really liked math so since I lived on a cliff in the mountains, one day when I went to school and my teacher asked for my homework, I told him this: I was sitting out on the porch last night, doing my homework, and the biggest tarantula I ever saw came crawling out from under the porch, so as I went and got my step dad, a wind must have came and blew my homework right off the cliff. My teacher was amazed but I didn't get detention.
546. Use this if you get caught cheating on a test. I had this really old Social Studies Teacher in 6th grade. We had to take this Vocab Quiz, and I didn't study at all. So the class started the quiz. So then when my friend finishes he gives me a sheet of paper that had all the answers on it. So halfway through the test the teacher stairs right at me. I tried to look unsuspicious, so I just sat there. Then the teacher said, "I want you to sit over here". Then she grabs my papers out of my hands and sees that I cheated. My parents had to sign that I cheated on. She stapled the papers together. So then when I got home I very carefully took apart the staple. Then I gave her a sheet with 10 words that she had to sign. She was a little concerned, but not that much. Then I stapled the pieces of paper back together. It looked as if I didn't even touch the paper. Next day in the class I handed it to her and still got a good grade!! Man, these teachers really underestimate us.
547. Use this excuse if your late. I had a really bad headache this morning when I woke up so I decided not to go to school. Then the pain went away so I decided to come. My brother used this excuse and it worked.
548. A friend of mine showed up late for class and when the teacher asked where he was he said, "I was at a restaurant and they were backed up and our order was late so by the time we got our order lunch was already over so we quickly ate it and rushed back." And when the teacher asked him for the excuse he handed her the receipt.
549. I didn't get my homework done because my dad had me picking all the tomatoes from the garden because it was supposed to frost.
550. I didn't get my homework done because I had to pick dandelions till dark so that my dad could make wine.
551. Sorry I'm late, teacher but I took another bus to school and I ended up in an another school.
552. I actually used this excuse, at my previous school. PE Excuse :- Teacher: Where's your note? Pupil: I just gave it to you? Teacher: No you didn't! Pupil: Yes I did, I think you have been hit in the head with too many balls! Teacher: (Feeling embarrassed) Just accepts this!
553. If u have forgotten your homework the best way of getting out of it is to say... sorry (sir/miss) but my cleaners thought it was rubbish and threw it away. I have tried it and it does work.
554. I didn't come to school yesterday because my alarm is plugged in the outlet and my cat unplugged the cord so my alarm didn't go off.
555. Tell your teacher: I left my work on the window sill and the window was open. I stupidly forgot that it was raining and when I came to get my work, it was soaked! Now it's drying on the radiator at home. Try it, it really works!
556. True Story: I forgot my homework in my printer (I kept telling myself to get it, up until I had to leave), and I told me English teacher this and she said too bad! It was so harsh!... like she's never forgotten anything before.
557. Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: I lost my pen.
558. If your teacher is a boring teacher (all of them are) then this is the excuse for you!!!!! Teacher: Why aren't you doing your work? Student: Because my writing arm hurts and I have a head ache. Teacher: Then go to the front office to lye down. Student in their mind ,mission accomplished.
559. Please excuse my friend and I from school we have hip hop fever.
560. My friend once didn't do his homework and when he came to school he said that he was sick all day. The next day he didn't come to school. I had faked a note for him. I was only about 11. It said Brian didn't make it to school yesterday because halfway to school he forgot his pants. Please let him go. I signed my name instead of his mothers name. Me and him got detention for a week.
561. This was used by myself and another friend. It's half true. Our homework was due, and we didn't even start it, so our excuse was that my friends dad was in hospital (True) and my friend had spent lots of time in their with her dad, and I, myself could not do my part because my friend had the sheets and she wasn't home much so we couldn't work on it. It worked and we got a week extension.
562. To get out of PE: Simply cut your shoestring slightly and tear it the rest of the way and claim that you shoestring broke and you cant tie your shoe. I tried this and it actually worked.
563. Well this one actually worked for me... I was supposed to write a paper for history class and I hadn't done it.... so I took a blank disk and chewed on it for a bit and then I cracked it open and played with that thing inside so it looked like it had been chewed... I took that disk to my teacher and through my tears I told her that my sister's dog had puppies and they were teething and apparently one bit through the disk that somehow ended up on the floor... and I got an extension.
564. My friend actually used this! Every week we had a practice worksheet and he did not do his. As the teacher was collecting them he told her that he did not understand the material ( which was adding and subtracting) and that he couldn't get there early enough to ask her for help and she believed him.
565. I was in a goat pen with my uniform and the goats ate it.
566. So one day I had an oral examination from physics. I didn't know a thing so this is what I did: I told my teacher that my neighbor (the old guy next door had a heart attack) so me and my dad had to drive him to the hospital. We spent whole morning with him because he has no family and felt very lonely. It really worked. I even was excused from those two last hours of physics because I told teacher id like to visit him in a hospital. Just make a sad face and tell that he was like a grandfather to you and what do you know he may even die on the day of the math test. (I'm so cruel)
567. One time I didn't do my homework and I told the teacher that I left it in my textbook. So she said bring it in tomorrow. It really does work!!
568. I have tried this and it actually works!! Tell your teacher: It was my cousins birthday and I was trying to do my homework. When I went up to get a drink my little 5 year old cousin grabbed some textas and thought she would help out. I came back in and my homework was a colorful blob.
569. For not doing homework: First you have to understand this one only works if the homework you were suppose to do is not going to be graded but they wanted you to do it anyway. Oh and this got me a week of detention. TEACHER: Why didn't you do your homework? STUDENT: Do you teach me and not get paid? TEACHER: No?!. STUDENT: Then I'm not going to do homework and not get a grade! This one actually got a laugh from my classmates and they agreed, until the teacher gave me the detention. Then they all shut up.
570. Years ago, the family went to Florida for school spring break. We ran into bad weather driving back, and decided to stop early and check into a motel. Of course, that meant we missed school on Monday. My mother had no problem with that. She wrote notes for each of us that on Monday we were in no state to attend school. I've always wanted to use that excuse at work since I live in New Hampshire and work in Massachusetts. ;-)
571. This really was a true excuse from a boy in my class who didn't do his homework!! Teacher: Josh where's your homework? Josh: I forgot is because my little sister chocked on a 5 cent piece and was coughing up blood so we had to go to the hospital. Well at lunchtime me and some friends went up to his little sister and asked her if this happened and boy did Josh get into trouble.
572. "Please excuse Nolan for being late to class this morning. He and I had quite a few problems that we needed to work out. If he does this again....... please excuse his being absent from school."
573. Teacher: And why were you late? Me: Because I was outside doing homework for this class.
574. One day I told my teacher I was late for class because a dog chased me through the halls and every time I tried to run to class he'd block the door so I couldn't pass.
575. I learned a great excuse if you're ever late, you simply tell the teacher. "On the way to school our car broke down, and this is why I hate the community, because nobody helps other people!" It worked for me.
576. This works very well and is often true in college, I'm late because I was at a bar got kicked out wound up in Detox and they just let me out.
577. Excuse for missing class: "I'm sorry I missed class yesterday... My fish had just died and I cried my eyes out for it... I was really sad and that's why I wasn't able to show up for school..." If you really act it out... it will work :))
578. Sorrow I forgot my homework, but my dog pissed on it and it's still in the dryer.
579. I left my homework on top of the fish tank, and then my fish ate the work and my cat ate the fish and my dog ate the cat. The dog had to go to the vets with indigestion, so now I have nothing to show for my homework. I'm so sorry.
580. This may sound a little like some of the others but this is true and it works. I skipped school for 2 weeks and phoned up to avoid letting my parents find out, my excuse was that I was suffering from food poisoning and had the shits, I also said that my parents were on holiday so it was impossible for me to leave the house and get some medication, a week later I decided to go food shopping and saw my teacher in there when she asked me why I was there I explained that I had managed to take the medication but I managed to knock myself out for 2 days by falling down the stairs and because my parents were away no one could help me, she believed me and told the school to let me of PE for as long as I needed.
581. Well, one day, me and my mom were having an argument about me not completing my homework on time (regular teenager stuff) and I came up with a good excuse, which made her angry, because she wasn't right. So on her way out of my room, (since the door was closed and right behind her) she slammed straight into the door, face first. I was practically crying with laughter. What's even funnier, is that she stood there for about one minute. She then turned around and asked me what was so funny. This made me laugh harder. I think she failed to realize she had just walked into a door!
582. Mom I cant go to school today because I'm still recovering from the shock of almost drowning in the bath tub last night.
583. As a teacher, the best I've heard was: "The police discovered grandma's crop so we had to go to court yesterday."
584. I left my homework assignment on the bus, there's no way they can disprove it... works a charm!
585. This really happened to a friend when I was younger. A bully named John was hitting my friend and the teacher caught him and he said he was making sexist jokes about me and he deserved to be punched.
586. My high school had a bad intersection right in front of it. Several people have been killed in bad car accidents over the years. Thankfully, they have now fixed it. Anyways I was on my way to school, when I approached stand-still traffic about a mile away from the school. Luckily I had left about a half-hour earlier on this particular morning. It took about 40 minutes to get to a back road which led to another entrance to the school campus. I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes late. I go to the school office explaining that I would have been on time, but I was stuck behind the traffic, and since they were only letting one car through at a time, it took quite a while for me to get to the school. The woman looked at me and said, "Well maybe from now on, you need to get here before accidents happen." I was so mad, I scribbled my name illegibly in the sign-in late book, stormed out of the office, and headed straight to my homeroom, as I was only a few minutes late. Luckily my homeroom teacher was a little bit behind in taking attendance. I told her what had just happened, she laughed and marked me on time.
587. I needed to do a report on Louisa May Alcott. I had about 3 weeks to do it. When the three weeks were up, I didn't have it done. When I got to school, I told my teacher that I really have been trying to do my homework, it's just we live on a farm and every night my parents make me do a lot of strenuous work, so every night I'm too tired to do my homework, and I fall asleep right away. My teacher actually bought it,( the dunce) and said I could finish it this weekend and hand it in Monday.
588. I was entering contact about 15 minutes late I was scared I was going to be marked tardy and get a detention. So I walked in, and when the teacher asked where I was I told him I was out chasing Raccoons, he believed me and I got off tardy and detention free!
589. Sorry I'm late! But the bell rang before I got here.
590. Once I said to my teacher I would give you a excuse but I haven't got any so I would tell you the truth my pig ate it and died.
591. Take a floppy and bust it but don't make it look broken! Tell your teacher that you stayed up until your bed time working on typing up your report and loading it to a floppy . Then tell your teacher that I thought I saved it but then when I tried it it in the morning it wouldn't load and u almost missed the bus so I had 2 bring in the floppy! (it will work)
592. Well this isn't really an excuse but a way we managed to get through school. It was our Midterms for Uni and I was in my final year. Having gone through 3 years I felt I had the studying/exams down. So I took off for Montreal for the weekend with friends, while I had an exam Monday as soon as I got back. I returned Sunday night just in time to get enough sleep for the final exam. Lucky for me I had some good friends who where well "prepared" for this exam. During the exam they managed to slip me a few rulers to help me "draw" when I turned over the ruler, I found all the answers to the M/C exam. Not only did I have an awesome weekend, but I passed the class with a good grade.
593. A friend of mine is a medical student who was in trouble with the Dean over poor attendance. The night before he had an appointment to see him, he was out with a bunch of friends drinking somewhat heavily. One of them decided to steel his phone in the middle of a club and dial the Dean's office number that was stored inside. He boisterously announced that his friend 'wouldn't be comin' in tomorrow coz he's f***ing pissed!' (quite drunk) 'and didn't give a S**T!'. Despite this convincing reason, my friend still had to go into the office the following morning where the answer phone message was played to him by the dean and in front of all the office staff who claimed that they'd never heard anything like it in all their time!
594. I'm from England and I live 200 meters away from my school so there is no reason for me to be late so I was late by 1 hour one day so I told the teacher the batteries fell out my alarm clock therefore I could not hear my alarm.
595. Okay 6th grade I didn't do my homework so I was out side doing it and then I went to school 30 min late teacher asked why u late, I got cornered by a dog and the owner had to tackle it then I ran around to get sweaty so it would look real hell ya it worked twice for me.
596. I was out hunting with my dad for deer, and we got lost for 2 days. but luckily the rescue team found us before we starved to death. I was too exhausted to come to school.
597. I am so sorry that I did not make it to my first class I was getting dressed this morning when I got a phone call from my great grandma saying that one of her friends had just died and that she needed to talk to someone and she kept me on the phone for 2 hours.
598. I couldn't do my homework because my neighbor is a maniac, and he mistook my homework for his credit card bill. He put gas all over it and lit it.
599. This really happened the first day of my volleyball practice! I'm sorry I was gone yesterday the battery in my mom's car died and then the hood got stuck shut so when we finally got that open to jump start it we realized we didn't have another car to jump start it with.
600. Okay, so one day, before thanks giving we were given homework, and I didn't do it. So the Tuesday it was do and the teacher asked me where it was, I said 'Well, I went to my aunt's as soon as I got home, and came back late last night'. The teacher asked 'Why didn't you do it at your aunt's?' I replied 'She has homeworkaphobia, which means she has a fear of homework.'. So the teacher believed me!

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