The Mother Of All Excuses Place

School and Homework Excuses 601 to up.

601. I actually heard this excuse being used three times in the same week by the one boy. "Sorry I don't have my homework today, but I put it on top of the TV so I wouldn't forget it and the TV blew up". The amazing thing was that one teacher let him off because it was the "best excuse" he'd heard all term.
602. I was always was late for French class (morning class), so I tried to keep the excuses new. I told my teacher, "I'm sorry I was late, you see, I was going to be on time, but when I was walking to the bus stop my shoelace broke, so I had to go home and put on a different pair of shoes. Well, by the time I got to the bus stop, I had missed my bus, and when I got to the exchange I had missed my transfer bus, making me even more late." All he had to say was, "Pleines d'histoires!" (Full of excuses).
603. It was my birthday, and my family had arranged for me to go to a theme park. they sent in a note saying "please excuse my daughter today as she has lost her voice in her pigsty of a bedroom" considering that I never stop talking, and my room looks like the battle zone of ww3 ,they let me off!!!!!
604. I was attending high school. Actually not attending. I had ditched school for 4 days. I wrote a note saying that , " A close member of my family had died & I was very upset." The next week ,I ditched for another 3 days . I returned the next day with a note saying, that I attended the funeral of my close family member & was upset for a couple of days after that. My mom picked me up after school that day & when I got in the car , She asked me, "who died?" I just said, " I don't know what you are talking about. I blamed it on the school saying that they are all screwed up & that they don't even know what they are doing.
605. A man came into my house last night and threatened to commit suicide. Well, it turns out he had a split-personality, so it was considered a hostage situation. It was a big commotion. Police, ambulance, everything! I can't believe you didn't hear about it! That's why I couldn't get my homework done. Some credit should be given to my friend on this one.
606. I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to MY TEACHER'S already heavy workload.
607. I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
608. I put it in a safe, but lost the combination.
609. Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked.
610. I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away.
611. I left it in my shirt and my mother put the shirt for washing.
612. My little sister ate it.
613. A sudden wind blew it out of my hand and I never saw it again.
614. I was kidnapped by terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.
615. The lights in our house went out, and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box.
616. Another pupil fell in a lake, and I jumped in to rescue him but unfortunately my homework drown.
617. I used it to fill a hole in my shoe, you wouldn't want it now.
618. My father had a nervous breakdown and he cut it up to make paper dolls.
619. I didn't do it, because I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
620. Well, I'm in year 7 and my R.E assignment hadn't been done, and was due on that day. So, the period before R.E we had Maths, so I had a headache *wink wink* near the end of maths and went to sickbay. My maths teacher believed me cuz usually in Maths I'm one 'o the quiet ones in maths, so she believe me. Well, she signed my diary and I was off to sickbay, where I slept for 1 hour. Not only did I miss out on R.E and get away with not handing in my assignment, I also missed out on 10min. of P.E! Which was the next period after R.E. I didn't bring my bathers for swimming so there was no point in me going to P.E so I just went up to the library and played on the computers until lunchtime. And nobody ever found out!
621. Once in my math lesson everyone said they didn't do their homework because they don't think math is important. Our math teacher went mad and she wasted the whole lesson by giving us a lecture on why math is important. The excuse worked like a charm because she couldn't put 24 people into detention! Try it!!
622. My sister used this once when she was 12, she walked in and handed the teacher a note that read: "My daughter could not come to school today as she started PMS and broke everything in the friggin' house, that stuff just kicks right in there, doesn't it."
623. This actually happened to me in the seventh grade - I was getting in the school bus and my backpack was opened a little bit so when I bumped it along the stairs my math and Spanish binders came out and fell into the gutter!!
624. Once when I was in 7th grade I had a crappy algebra teacher. He gave me a 58 on my mid term and I knew I was going to be killed by my parents when I got home. When I went to science (class after algebra) the girl sitting beside me told me the 5 looked a lot like an 8 all I had to do was attach the top to the bottom. I got home and acted like I had to take a dump really quick and filled in the 5. My parents believed it and I didn't get in trouble. At least until report cards.
625. I've used this one as a student many times and each time it has worked. Just say that your mom takes you and all your siblings to school at the same time and that your siblings slept in so you had to wait for them to get ready so your mom could take you to school.
626. I forgot my book because I am moving and my mum packed the book in one of the boxes.
627. School Excuse for Senior Skip Day: Please excuse Marina from school today. She will be witnessing a birth.
628. True story: after endlessly writing myself/friends notes reading "please excuse (insert name) from PE today as her menstrual cycle is causing her great abdominal pain" one teacher became suspicious. I was made to write out the note so handwriting could be compared, but luckily was different. all would have been well except I was without PE uniform that day also, and was asked to get my school diary so the teacher could write a note to my parents. panicking, because my mum had written 3 separate notes on the required page, a friend set to work tearing pages out of my diary, bending the cover, jumping on it etc to the point where it was barely recognizable, returning to the teacher saying I found the diary like that on top of the lockers... I got away with everything, but never wrote myself another note again!
629. I was at lunch one day when I tripped and spilled soda all over this girl (who is like one of the cool people). Just then the bell rang. As I turned to leave the girl hit me right in the head knocking me down to the ground then she kicked me in groin and left. I ended up laying there for about 10 minutes until I could get up when I got to class (the girl was there) I told the teacher that I was beaten up by a girl. The whole class broke out in laughter but the teacher gave me a detention because he did not believe me, but as I was leaving the girl kicked me again and the teacher saw it and he then believed me and let my detention go. And for the rest of the week I was made fun of for being beaten up by a girl.
630. My excuse for not handing in my English essay one time was, 'Sorry, but my friend was hungry for knowledge, so he ate my essay'.
631. I've been teaching for 3 years. I've heard all kinds of excuses.
     "I forgot we have class on Wednesday." (We always had class on Wednesday.)
     Student: "I was sick." Me: "Where's your doctor's note?"
     Student: "Well, my best friend died so I had to go see his family and then another friend died so I had to go to the funeral." Me: "Do you have a copy of the obituary or death certificate?"
     Student: "My family owns a business that involves what we're studying and I want to do good so I can take over the business." Me: "Good for you but you'll still need documentation to be excused for any absences." (By the end of this semester this student had been "sick" 3 times, had two friends and a former tennis coach die, gotten stuck behind a train, had a family emergency, and stayed up too late studying to make it to class with no documentation of any of it.)
     
     "I didn't know what room the class was in or who was teaching it or when it meets and I don't have a copy of my schedule and I don't know where to get one and I don't know who my advisor is to ask where to go or what to do." (The only reason I ever got him to class at all was that I overheard him talking to another teacher 3 weeks into the semester and asked him if he was "Cletus." When he said he was I told him that I was his teacher and where and when to find the class. He failed the first term and only managed a D the second time he took the class but at least he found the room in fewer than three weeks the second time.)
     
     "We thought you said to meet at the museum instead of the class room so we stood there for an hour waiting for you." (Amazing how 2 people out of 60 could hear something so different from everyone else.)
     
     "I can't get an F. They'll throw me off the football team and cancel my scholarship." (This after 15 weeks of receiving failing or near failing grades every week and not doing anything to improve the situation until after final grades were posted.)
     
     Student: (13 weeks into a 15 week semester) "My average is a D+." Me: "That's right." Student: "That's not good." Me: "Not very." Student: "I don't want a D+." Me: "It's too late to do much about it but you could still possibly get a C if you do very well on the final exam." Student: "But I'd have to read and study." Me: "Right." Student: (heavy sigh) "I'm gonna flunk."
     
     "I'm really hung over so I might get sick if you talk about anything disgusting today."
632. Please excuse Samantha from school for the following days: August,9 thru March,7 because she had lost her marbles.
633. Even tough I'm only in great I have a knack for making up excuse. Just recently me and a friend skipped the last 2 periods. He phoned his mom telling her he was sick, I couldn't. So when the school e-mailed my mom I told her that the teacher forgot to send down the attendances and that they check the attendances with a special computer and so if the computer doesn't process the attendances the WHOLE class will be counted as automatically absent. Ingenious eh? and I got away with it too!!!!!!
634. This is one I used years ago for homework one of my teachers always made us call someone to get the homework so one day I came back to school and she asked "Where's your homework?" I said "What homework the person I called said there was no homework." she asked "who did you call." I said "I forget." She said "I will let it go this time."
635. Okay... this was a true story. I needed glasses, and didn't want to do my math. I told the teacher I couldn't see, and she let me off. This worked for a week, until I received my glasses, but we were so far ahead, I didn't need to re-do the work. It also helps if your teacher has the same eye-doctor as you.
636. I'm late to class because there are too many stairs.
637. My teacher once told us about when she went to a teachers meeting to take notes and whatever. She had something she had to turn in like teacher homework or something. When she got home she did the thing and left it on the table. That night her dog Peaches got the papers and ripped them up and ate them. After that she had to tell the people at the teachers meeting that her dog ate all of her papers.
638. I wasn't in school yesterday because I ate alot of cheese and got constipated.
639. I am a year 10 student in Aust and last year in English, we had an oral presentation due. I hadn't done anything for it and was in deep #$^#$ if I didn't do anything fast. All of a sudden I jumped out of my seat and ran into the toilets. I wasn't sick but I turned the tap on and filled my mouth with water and as soon as the teacher opened the door I spat it into the toilet. She thought I was faking it and gave me a detention. She guessed right but I wasn't finished that day. I went home sick (she didn't know). I said that she was picking on me and the principal called me the next day to apologies for her actions!!! Try it it works guaranteed!! she even took the detention back.
640. No Uniform: This Work's if you have a school uniform or dress code Say your dog/cat/baby brother/baby sister was sick on your uniform and you had to get changed. Also works as a late excuse just say u had to take a bath/shower before school.
641. I went to school. I was in a depressed state. I have Bipolar Disorder, but I wouldn't disclose this information to my teacher. Instead, I told my teacher: "Well, I've been depressed lately. My mother and father, almost had to have my admitted in a psychiatric unit for trying to commit suicide. Instead, luckily, my parents and I were told I was sane enough, not to be admitted. By the time I got home, it was really late, since there was a lot of people in the waiting room. While my family and I were both under a lot of stress, I wasn't able to finish my homework. It's been a long process and they did put me on an anti-psychotic for a mental illness that I have, but I won't disclose what the mental illness is. Anyway, the medicine has made me irritable, agitated, and a bit groggy lately, so please excuse any irritability that I may have. I'm truly doing my best, but my parents are greatly concerned for me as well. Right now, I feel depressed, while trying to keep up up with work, I just don't know how I'm going to manage the work load, while having a mental illness. I'm sorry I do not have my homework. I promise I will bring it in tomorrow. Is there anything I can do to make up for this?," while looking depressed. The teacher excuse it and said "OK... Well, bring it tomorrow. And, if you ever need to talk, just let me know." This was my excuse - although, it wasn't true, about being at the psychiatrist unit and being evaluated at the time being, she still believed me. And - truly, I do have Bipolar Disorder, but at the time, wasn't on any medication.. LOL.. I totally fooled her big time!!!
642. Our conservatory roof collapsed due to the builders we've got at the moment so I had to help tidy that up this morning. An excused for a student for being late... this follows. Due to the chaos I forgot to bring in the homework.
643. I used to live on a huge ranch. And one day as I walked off the bus to feed the horses one of our other horses; Nelly came up and grabbed my backpack! Imagine my parents surprise to see me chasing a horse that was eating my back back and everything in it. When I finally got it back (using about 10 carrots to do so) my backpack was trashed. My homework inside; a horror show. So the next day I went to school with no backpack or homework. My teacher asked " where is you're homework, and you're backpack" I of course told her " My horse ate them..". Being the stupid teacher she is she called home and had my mom bring out the remains of both. For the rest of the year she didn't challenge my excuses. (true story)
644. My little sister (11) says this to his teacher all the time, and I am usually the one who has to go to the conferences because parents are working, "Homework I thought you said Housework. I stayed up all night cleaning the house when u said Homework." and for Dramatic affect pad some black eye-shadow under your eyes and act tired.
645. Well, my friend hadn't done his English homework so he sent an email to his teacher with a whole page of unrecognizable symbols and weird gibberish. The teacher opened her email and saw it all and my friend said, "oops, my email must of broken down." It worked very well!
646. Sorry I'm late to school... I was constipated this morning and well... you know... it wasn't coming out.
647. Ok this one really works. When your teacher asks for your homework say " I've got it, just let me get it out of my bag", then start rummaging around for it and after 2 minutes of doing that, sit up and say, " Miss, I swear to god that I put it in here, unless... oh great, my mum must have taken it out to put my lunch in, Can I bring it next lesson?" It works like a charm!!
648. This is what I told my teacher because I didn't have my homework. I don't have my homework today because it flew into my fan and got torn up.
649. When asked where my art homework was I told my teacher looking severely distressed "I left it on your desk last Friday but its just not here and it was handwritten so I can't print it off again, took me ages!" Funnily enough he believed me, averaged my previous marks and gave me an A and a merit for the nonexistent work! Unfortunately someone else using the same excuse with me got a C for theirs! It was classic. True story!
650. All the kids were picking on me and they might forget if I don't go to school for a day (crying).
651. I wasn't able to do my homework this weekend because when I went ice fishing, the heater inside of the tent got too close to the wall of the tent, starting it on fire. And when I ran out of there, I realized that my cat was still in there. My cat was in there because all the small fish that I catch, I just give to my cat. But when I went back for my cat, the fire was too hot. So I spent the weekend morning the loss of my cat. (actually used in my French class, I don't have a cat and I don't go ice fishing either, I'm just creative and going to hell for that.
652. For sport, say that your fasting as you are a Muslim and don't want to dehydrate, if the holy month of fasting has finished say you are making up the ones you missed. This especially works if you pretend you have hunger pains.
653. I haven't got my homework as I accidentally left it in my dads car last night, and now it is in the MOT garage so I cant get it until tomorrow.
654. My then Five year old that really had pneumonia told her teacher upon returning to school… “Sorry I was filled with Piss and moan ‘a”. She had heard me tell her “Dad stop all your Piss and Moaning.” (Opps!) TRUE STORY!
655. Actually Happened! My little brother was in 2nd grade and still peeing in his pants I had no idea about it. One day I went inside to pick him up from after school, he was in a corner and no one was talking to him I signed him out and asked him what happened he wouldn't tell me so I let it go as we were walking up to the car my moms face turned to a frown in my brothers direction. I didn't really care I thought they were mad at each other or something. well My brother got into the car and sat in the back seat on my homework. When we got home I told him to get up I picked up my crumpled homework and thought I could still do it until I realized IT WAS WET. My brother had peed in his pants and sat on my homework . When I told my Reading teacher she understood me because she also had a little brother not all teachers would have been so excepting.
656. I accidentally locked my homework in my locker--along with my locker combination, which I don't have memorized.
657. Get about ten kids in your class to say "What quiz?" or "We had homework?" It actually sometimes works.
658. True story: Our 9th grade English class had a paper due Thursday, but some people asked our teacher if it could be due Friday instead, because they had volleyball and a sports banquet, and so we all joined in and told her about play practice that went till 6:00 and our orthodontist appointments and stuff, and she actually moved the due date to Friday!
659. When my grandma was younger and living with her aunt, she got a bad grade on her report card and didn't want her aunt to see it, but the card had to be returned with a signature. So she decided to forge her aunt's signature. She got caught because she signed, "Aunt Mary" on the card.
660. My friend ACTUALLY wrote this: Suzie was late for school because her alarm clock got eaten by a giant herd of raging elephants. We are not sure how they got in our house though.
661. My uncle was late to school once when he was in 8th grade or so, and he said he was late because he was beating up his sister - which was true. They let it go because he was a good student and never late.
662. In 8th grade, we went on a weekend retreat. We were supposed to meet after school at 5:00, but this one kid in my class thought we were supposed to meet at 5:00 BEFORE school. So when he shows, and nobody else is there, he calls my homeroom teacher at his house at 5:00 in the morning to ask where everyone is.
663. This is the "BEST EXCUSE EVER FOR SCHOOL" if you are ever late for any class tell your teacher-"sir/mame I had to go to the bathroom sooo bad that I almost didn't make it". It always works.
664. For a late report: My CAD guy has Lyme disease.
665. These probably wont get you out of trouble unless your teacher has a good sense of humor but are good for a laugh anyways. I came up with these myself and have used them at various times and have gotten a few laughs from it. (Fortunately no detentions!) Any vastly similarities to other excuses others have made are purely coincidental.
     Teacher: Why are you late?
     Answer: Well my penny fell down the elevator shaft and it took three janitors to get it out and give it back!
     Answer: Oops sorry, I know our date means so much to you...
     Answer: I saw a scratch and sniff sticker on the ceiling and it took me forever to jump that high and smell it!
     Answer: Yoshi wasn't giving rides today...
666. This one was actually brought it by my classmate he had his sister write it up and put in an envelope and he didn't know what it said, "Please excuse Billy from school today as he has started his period!"
667. I was late for school the other day and I forgot everything so my "mom" (really my friend) rang school to say I had been sick this morning and the doctor was concerned for my health and they believed her!
668. -- The Missing Spanish Book -- My mate didn't do his Spanish homework as usual, but this time he decided to 'cheat' the teacher. He waited till the end of the lesson when our teacher expected us to drop our books on the pile as we left, he decided not to. So, the next lesson, our teacher came up to where we were sitting and asks him where his homework is. He said he handed his book in and I decide to say I saw him put it on the pile. It's now 6 months later and she's just given him a new book and apologized for losing the old one. lol
669. I didn't do my homework because all the pens in my house exploded.
     I didn't bother to do my homework because I didn't want to give you extra work.
     Also: Could you please excuse my child from P.E. because she/he forgot his P.E. kit and don't have any pants on. (parents name)
670. I accidentally wiped my butt with my homework.
671. I'm sorry but my little brother scribbled all over my homework in black crayon!
672. (For first day of school after the weekend) I did It but yesterday when I came home (I had it packed in my schoolbag) my brother put it in an envelope saying China and then threw in our mailbox!!! And as my mom wouldn’t buy me flight tickets to China I didn’t have time to get it!!!!
673. *Real Excuse* We were in the second standard when this boy comes in late and when asked for a reason, he said that his sister had to do the big job and so he came late.
674. Sorry I was late sir/miss blah , but I couldn't open the front door to get in . U see I forgot my glasses so I couldn't see the pull sign on the door so I just pushed it for about an hour until someone else opened the door . :)
     Excuses For Tardiness !
     Sorry I'm late , but I couldn't remember the access code to open the stupid door , so I just went through all the possibilities of the 4 number combinations until I got it, that's why I'm a few hours late ...
675. A great excuse for being late- used actually when we were kids and missed the train on the way to school...
     Sorry I'm late, Whilst I was walking to the train station, a bird pooped all over my head, so I had to go back home and wash and dry my hair before I could set off again....
676. My Senior year in high school, I worked at the local volunteer fire department. Here in Texas we don't get snow, we get rain that freezes on the roads (might happen 3 nights a year). One freezing Thursday night me and some buddies decided to take out retired #3 and hose down the block where our school's Superintendent lived. We enjoyed the 3 day weekend.
677. The next group of excuses are actual homework excuses that were given to Chuck Keller who is a teacher that kindly allowed me to use the excuses.
     "Every teacher has heard thousands of excuses. Here's a collection of excuses that students have told me. They are true. Really."
     
     My homework is on my bed.
     
     It got caught in the door.
     
     My roommate threw it away.
     
     I left it under my mattress.
     
     Somebody stole it.
     
     It's at home - with my mind.
     
     There was a fire at my neighbor's house.
     
     It's in my other car.
     
     I got soap in my eyes and was blinded for the rest of the night.
     
     I got married over the weekend.
     
     I had to have my baby.
     
     I play volleyball and I left it at the competition.
     
     My brother and I got into a fight and he burned it on the stove.
     
     It got stuck in a drawer at home.
     
     It was so cold last night that we had to burn all of the pencils for heat.
     
     My mom put it away and now I can't find it.
     
     The car broke down on the expressway and my books are still in it.
     
     I gave it to the substitute.
     
     It's in the Stop-n-Go.
     
     I had it last period in Home Ec., but now I don't have it.
     
     My homework blew over into the neighbor's pool and got all wet.
     
     My homework was used to clean the dirty bottom of a baby.
     
     I left my books in Louisville. (Needless to say, Louisville is 100 miles away.)
     
     I don't have a pen because we had an hour delay.
     
     I don't have my homework because somebody cleaned my headquarters.
     
     The moisture from the dishwasher seeped through the counter and ruined my book.
     
     My brother was sleeping with my homework in a locked room.
     
     The cleaning lady threw it away.
     
     My cousin took my typewriter.
     
     It's in a suitcase on its way to Hawaii.
     
     My friend forgot to do my homework.
     
     My car exploded and it burned up.
     
     It blew out the car window. Honest!
     
     There's a virus in my printer.
     
     Thanks again to Chuck Keller for the homework excuses!
678. Please excuse Sally for not doing her homework. She couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
679. Real note from my wife to the school: Please excuse Becky from school for the last 2 days, we took her to a Greenday concert so she could be exposed to some real performing arts.
680. I was two hours late into college as I was sat in the computer room I was thinking up an excuss. So I thought up that if I see my teacher around I will say that I got a bus that took me miles in the other direction and I did not realise until I got off the bus. This meant that I had to get the bus all the way back to Weymouth and missed 2 hours of school. (Don’t know if it works yet as im sat in the computer room at this moment in time!!)
681. Here is the best excuse for being late. I use this everyday. You go in and when the teachewr askes you why you are late you just say "Yeah umm I'm late and I'm still too tired and lazy to think of an excuse."
682. This really annoying girl in my 4th grade class used this excuse once on a very strict teacher because she didn’t do some homework over the weekend - My gerbil was having babies this weekend I didn’t have any time to do anything.
683. My daughter couldn't make it for that 1 week she is allergic to exams!!! I have even got a Doctors note.
684. I couldn’t hand in my essay because it fell into a pile of mud on the road. Then, a road cleaner cleaned it up with my essay in it. They still need to check numbers 15 through 500.
685. An excuse I once got as a note written in pencil in a music class I was teaching: "Please excuse Julisa for not having her flutophone today. It won't happen again. Signed, Her Father"
686. I had my homework in my backpack, but I can't find it now! I really feel bad because I worked so hard on it! I am really sorry! (If you act really sad and you do your "not to noticeable" puppy eyes, It has a good chance of working!) It worked for me! My teacher felt bad for me!
687. I did it in brown marker and my dad thought it was crap so he flushed it.
688. I have an excuse I used once when I was wearing really crappy, ragged clothes...beforehand you take some pliers and cut a pen almost all the way through... just before the ink tube. During LA I broke the rest of the pen and let it splat all over my clothes, making a big fuss. The teacher let me go to the office to call my mom to bring me some new clothes...I got out of class for like 20 minutes!!!
689. While at lunch in high school, we had an open campus, most kids would come and go as they pleased. I left for lunch one day with my friend, James (who most people didn't like). We went to his house and had our lunch. As we were going back to my truck, he grabbed my keys and threw them into his house, where he had already locked the door. He told me he didn't want to go back to school, me personally, my favorite class was after lunch and I wanted to go. I told him I would leave him if he wanted. As we wandered around his house looking for an unlocked window, I knocked on one window and it shattered, cutting my knuckle down to the bone. At this time, blood was spurting everywhere so I wrapped it in my white T shirt. we got in, I got my keys and made it back to school an hour late for a 90 minute class. The teacher looked at me with a "this better be a good excuse" look, then he saw the blood. He asked what happened, all I said was "James" and he excused me for being late. Teacher had assumed it was James' blood since nobody saw him for the rest of the day and called me into his office after school to fully explain.
690. True Story: I could not give you my homework because my guinea pig pooped on it, and then my other guinea pig, stepped on it which smeared it.
     It actually worked on my L.A. teacher! What an idiotOne Day I did not do my home room, homework and this is what I said, "Mr/Mrs I could not do my homework because I was REALLY constipated which late led me into hemorrhoids, so please don't be surprised if I ask to go to the nurse or anything." I, later did end up having hemorrhoids :(
691. I made this up on the spot for my teacher (she didn't have a clue). I left my homework scattered on the kitchen table while I went shopping with my mum on a rainy day. When I came back home my home work was paper mache on the back porch and my dad told me he had gotten sick of it being in his way (not like he used it) and had thrown it out the window. it was a believable excuse and because it had been a 7 week long assignment I was given the HOLIDAYS to redo it completely of cause I didn't have to completely remake it I just had to finish it but she didn't know that.
692. I just used this a couple of minutes ago, it's completely true.
     School Phones: "Hello, who is this?"
     Me: "-my name-"
     School: "Are you sick?"
     Me: "Nope."
     School: "Then why aren't you at school?"
     Me: "We're selling our house and there was a viewing today and both my parents are at work."
     School: "Get your mother to phone us when she gets home."
     
     ...I don't think they bought it.
693. I could not give you my homework because my guinea pig pooped on it, and then my other guinea pig, stepped on it which smeared it.
     It actually worked on my L.A. teacher! What an idiot.
694. One time when my sister was little my mom sent her teacher a late note saying sorry Katie was late today but she is suffering from lethargy. Katie didn’t know what lethargy was at the time. It was so funny.
695. Well I am in 7th grade and this trick worked for me: I was worried when I forgot my report but luckily I am very good at magic. When she asked me for it I brought up an old test and said "now you see it........ and ran outside the room and out of the school. unfortunately my house is like 1 mile from my school.
696. I did my homework on my computer but it didn't print.
697. This one will always work if you are late to class, especially in high school and college. When the teacher asks why you are late, with a straight face tell the simply "Diarrhea." The straight face and serious tone are essential to pulling this off.
698. My pet played with it when it slipped under my bed, then my mom vacuumed it up.
699. 'I did do my homework but it got a bit wet so I put it on the grill/toaster/heater/stove/fire to dry it out and it caught fire.'
700. I had a family emergency. If the teacher asks what it is, just say you don't wanna talk about it because the subject is to sensitive.
701. 1. haha so my sister had to use these candy hearts *her choice other ppl used different things* to make a math project thing and it was very specific... well my sis finally got around to it at like midnight but when she came downstairs to get her candy it was gone... our older brother had eaten them!!.. the next day at school my sister told her teacher my brother ate it I swear.. she didn't believe my sister so my mom had to call lol.. it was great!
     2. My brother just got back from the navy and we haven't seen him in 2 years so I spent last night visiting with him sorry I didn't get it done ... once again my sister's tale.. it was a half truth our close family friend came back .. but haha her teacher was all upset and gave her tons of extra days
     3. Last night I had church and couldn't get it done... "teacher says" it was Tuesday you couldn't of had church ... I did I am a Jehovah's witness.. we have church 3 times a week... lol that one makes them shut up fast 2!
702. (it works for long term homework/projects)
     I finished my homework since my dad told me too and I left it on the couch so the next morning I came back from school and saw it wasn't there so the cleaning lady we had must have put is somewhere. (im gonna test it today!)
703. My sister drew obscene pictures on the back of my paper last night while I was at a dinner with my parents. I found it this morning right as we were leaving, but I could photocopy it, just the front, and bring it in tomorrow? This isn't the first time.... [shake head].
704. My cat was really bored so I had to give her something to play with I was making a cake and I had no flour instead I used my homework I went to the doctor because my mum had an appointment and she old me I couldn't do my homework because my mum was to stressed to help me ( TRUE STORY)
705. But my mom took me to a party so I couldn't do my homework.
706. Using Daylight Savings Time as an Excuse for not doing homework: Please excuse my son for doing so poorly on the test. The hour he puts aside to do homework and studying every week was lost when the clocks "sprung forward" over the weekend.
707. This is a true story, and the teacher believed me. On the way to school, my mom and I were driving in the H.O.V 2 lane and we were stopped by a police man. They didn't realize that there were 2 people in the car.
708. I took a Calculus class taught by a T.A. my first quarter of college. He came to class one day and said that class the next day would be cancelled. His excuse? "I'm going to a concert tonight and I'll be too stoned and hung over to possibly teach tomorrow."
709. I’m sorry that I missed all of last week’s classes. I was doing an art project and accidentally superglued myself to my bed.
710. Please excuse my daughter Melissa from P.E for the next 2 weeks. She twisted her arm in a biking accident.
711. This an excuse I just made up: Since yesterday was a nice day, (after various days of rain) I felt like doing homework on the back yard, but when I went inside the house to get soda and returned, I found my homework in the pool, and all WET!!!! (I have not tried it yet)
712. When you are late for class just say: "I'm currently babysitting my aunts dog while she is on holiday in Europe. Today the dog managed to escape, I was the only one home so I had to fetch the dog!"
713. One of my students offered me this excuse as a reason why he didn't turn in his homework and missed about 60% of his classes. I should add that this student is a 40-50 year old adult.
     "My dog got sick and was recently diagonsed with diabetes. I might have to quit school and get a job so that I can pay for my dog's medicines. It's a hundred bucks a month! I can send you the work, it's not complete, but I think I got rid of the hacker trying to take over my computer..."
714. I was late for class because I was fighting with this kid who said that you weren't the best teacher in the world.
715. Excuse to your teacher for not doing homework: Well, miss, we ran out of toilet paper, so my we had to go out to the shops to buy some. We left mum inside, she’s deaf by the way, to lock the door and open it when we came back. But my mum is deaf so we were locked out and had to live on pizza that we ordered with my dad’ sell phone. And that’s why I didn’t do my homework.
716. Please Excuse Kyle and Mara from school May 17th. In their mad rush to get to school on time, they fled to the car, leaving the keys behind, in the house…which was locked.
717. I once went to school with a hoodie on. Well, we’re not allowed to wear hoodies at our school so I got told by about 6 teachers to take it off. I took it off, and put it back on. A couple of weeks later I was wearing a new hoodie – one I had ordered with the school logo on.
     Shockingly enough, no teacher told me to take it off!!
718. This is good for bad marks in P.E (parents have to be on your side!!) At your parent teacher interviews, get you mum or dad to say, “So, is her artificial leg holding her back in P.E? She had surgery earlier this year, so we were hoping she’d be alright.”

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