The Mother Of All Excuses Place

School and Homework Excuses 201 to 400.

201. My cat killed my dog which ate my homework, then flushed him down the toilet.
202. Excuse me for not doing my homework, its cause you ASKED me to do it, you didn't TELL me to do it so I thought it was optional.
203. I didn't come to school today because my dog was depressed......... he told me if I left he would hang his self by his under pants.
204. Here's an excuse that only someone who ran out of excuses would use:
     My son (daughter), (student name) could not attend school yesterday because he/she is grounded to their room for not taking out the trash for a month. Not only this, but the trash has piled so high that I cannot get out of my back door. (Student Name) will be able to attend school again as soon as he cleans up the trans and serves his punishment. Expect to see him back in school within a month of the date of this note. Thank You
     (Parent Name)
205. I am very sorry Jimmy could not attend school today. I had SPECIFICALLY pointed out that the pills were for me and for me only, but he went ahead because I was "hogging the candy."
206. My cat threw up on my homework!
207. "It was raining yesterday afternoon and my homework got torn up in the rain."
208. If you feel like bludging a day of school, I often find that, if you've got an electric blanket on your bed, if you lie with your head tightly under the pillow for about ten minutes you give yourself a realistic temperature and then all that remains is delirious and coughing symptoms to be faked.
209. When I couldn't be bothered to do an essay that was due the next day, I told my English teacher that my printer had run out of ink, hence the essay which was all completed on the computer couldn't be printed until we got another cartridge ( If you're a perfectionist liar like me, I actually wrote about eight lines of the essay and used Word art in Microsoft Word to color each line a lighter shade of gray to the last one, then printed that on my printer, which incidentally had loads of ink and handed it in with the excuse) PS: Any plausible excuse at all seems to work if you say it with a despondent face.
210. My homework was done, and I didn't want to forget it, so I put it in my backpack. Turns out, my mom washed it.
211. My neighbor actually wrote this to her daughter's high school, which after reading it, sure seems like a good reason to not go to school.
     Trista was having bad crapping on Wednesday the 14th. Thank You, Darlene Deem.
212. I actually e-mailed this to my teachers. I had been making statements of having "troubles" right before sending this in. I'm really sorry I'm absent! I've been trying to sort my life out, since my family is really dysfunctional. I'm telling you this because my psychiatrist thinks it will help me get over my problems. I've admitted that my life is messed up but telling others is a "step closer to recovery". I'll try to make all my work up ASAP, though my counselor tells me to take a break. I've started a Diary though. Because it is supposed to help me. It actually works too! Anyway, against my doctors recommendation I will be in school tomorrow!
213. I was late to class because it was foggy this morning and I couldn't find my way to school.
214. This happened to a friend of mine, and he managed to use this excuse too: While I was walking to school, my shoes fell apart. I went back home to see if I had any more. I didn't and my mom wouldn't let me leave the house without any shoes.
215. THIS REALLY WORKS! (but only if it is raining in the morning) Say that you missed your train/tram/bus, and since you didn't want to be late for school, you ran in the rain. Of course, you say, the downside is that you had to use your bag to cover your head, (not having an umbrella with you) which resulted in everything in it being drenched. Including your homework. Show the teacher the 'homework' (which can be anything really) that is completely sodden. You should probably soak the paper in the sink before leaving your house, since, unless your state is in the midst of a flash flood, there is no way your homework will be as soaked as you need it to be. Strangely, no teacher has ever asked me HOW my paper got so wet, and I've used this excuse around twenty times on various teachers!
216. I really wanted to get my homework done, but my mother said I need to get more rest at night.
217. To get out of PE one lesson, I told the teacher I'd forgotten my kit. I'll have to try and think up another excuse next time, as I ended up doing PE in my bra and knickers!
218. I used this and it really works, but you have to do this after a stormy night. Mr./Mrs. (teachers name) last night was a real bad night for me to finish my project. You know it was real stormy and rainy. Well, my power was cut off by the storm I guess, while I was finishing up my project. I was just sitting at my chair typing and the next you know my power went off. I didn't have a chance to save my project or anything, so I'm asking if I can have an extra day to finish it up? Trust me on this it works like a charm.
219. School excuse for not having homework: I made my homework paper into a paper airplane, and it got hijacked. This was a true excuse used in my junior high school science class. The teacher said if you can come up with an excuse he's never heard before, he won't count it against you for not having your homework!
220. (Stupid School Excursion\ Camp\ Homework excuse) My dog exploded therefore blasting poop all over the place including the study which is where I left my permission slip\homework last night. (Don't use this too often.)
221. I am a full time college student and mother of two. One day I missed speech class, on a test day. To be allowed to make the test up, I had to have a great excuse. When asked by my professor why I was absent, I told him my daughter started her menstrual cycle, and was too upset to go to school. He told me that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, but not to use that excuse anymore the rest of the semester... He never asked for any documentation.
222. (This only works if it is a long-term project) Tell your teacher that, being the industrious student you are, you finished your project days ago. But because you didn't have the stress of worrying about it getting done, you forgot about it and that it's sitting in your living room. My friend used it. It worked! :)
     Or, if you have a long-term project, tell the teacher that you have been stressed out about getting this project done and you're so stressed out that you've become forgetful lately, and that you'd forgotten what the date was and didn't think the due date was until tomorrow. You have to really act confused. You know, say things like: "The 24th? Are you sure? I could've sworn today was the 23rd!"
223. I actually gave this to my teacher: "I didn't do my homework last night because my Mom's brother's only sister's son died." (that's me). He believed me and gave me an extension.
224. My baby sister/brother drooled on my homework.
225. This is a list of excuses I made up for my friends... I don't advise anyone to actually use these, because I wouldn't expect any teacher in his or her right mind to accept any of these excuses, but hey, they're good for laughs.
1. The person I normally walk with to your class was absent and I got lost on the way here.
2. My pet goat ate my homework (which, by the way, is more believable than a dog eating it, because goats actually enjoy eating paper).
3. My dog ate my feet! (dogs are carnivores, they'd much rather eat a good pair of feet than a piece of loose leaf paper with calculus scribbled on it).
4. I hit my head on my locker and passed out for (insert # of minutes late here).
5. I wanted to make an entrance.
6. The janitor tried to eat my homework and struggle ensued. I did get the homework back, but I'm a bit late, sorry.
7. I just couldn't bear to leave math class last period... I just love math so much!!
8. I really really had to pee, but when I got to the bathroom there was a line. Then there was no toilet paper and then the toilet overflowed... sorry!
9. I was scared to run in the hallways for fear of falling off of these platform sandals and breaking my ankle (this really happened to one of my friends... she's still in a cast today!)
10. It was the aliens!! They told me to be late!! I swear!!! (Would I lie to you?)
226. Second semester freshman year I managed to attend fifteen classes combined between five courses for the entire semester. The way in which I did this would surely send me to hell if I weren't Jewish (no hell:)) This was a two step process. First, I told one of my teachers that a friend of mine from home had gotten into a car accident and I had to go home and see him. Two weeks and no classes later, I was writing an e-mail to the same professor to explain my absences. I wrote that my friend had sadly passed away and that I had to attend the funeral in... and this was the kicker... Hungary. Why Hungary? Why not? No death certificate necessary as well as two more weeks without class. I passed this info on to all my other teachers and it worked for three weeks. Then they started asking questions so I had to tell them I was taking his death pretty hard. Bam! Two more weeks without classes. At the end of the semester I had missed most of my classes and all of my midterms so I went to see the school psychologist to tell him I was more or less having a nervous break down. A few more phone calls to my teachers (who were more than sympathetic) and I finished the semester with two B's, two B+'s, and one F (the heartless bastard). What's more, I actually had a friend at school who was from Hungary and was also a slacker. Around finals, he hadn't turned in his final or his midterm for a class we were in together. He told me he was going to tell the teacher a friend of his in Hungary had died. Thank God he talked to me first and we managed to straighten things out. We decided that he had a friend in Turkey that had died. He got a B+, too.
227. You see... I was doing my work in the car and I left it in there. Then suddenly the car caught on fire while we were in the store and the paper was inside. (I tried this on my L. Arts teacher and it didn't work).
228. Sorry I'm late but I let my brother do my makeup, big mistake!
229. I'm late because there was no more toast and I had to make cereal and it worked. Though three days later a loaf of bread was delivered to my class for me.
230. Once, I slept through one of my philosophy classes at college. Since my father is a physician, I told them that I had eaten at a bad Mexican restaurant the night before and I thought that I had gotten food poisoning and subsequently, diarrhea. My father believed me and wrote a note saying why (not really) I was absent. Since my dad is my Primary Care Physician, the teacher HAD to let me make up the test. (true story)
231. If your a woman and your late to class just say, "Sorry, I was having women problems!" This especially works if your teacher is a Guy, since most guys don't want to get into it.
232. Tell a teacher and start off with, "I had a busy day". Then tell her your day and rattle on soon your teacher will give you an extra day to do the work if you stop talking.
233. I couldn't do my homework because mum said my hemorrhoids are acting up.
234. I couldn't do my homework because I was too constipated.
235. I used this one in high school once: We were on our way here when we saw a bag on the side of the road. When we opened it up it was filled with puppies, so we took them all to the animal shelter.
236. My father actually wrote this and gave it to one of my teachers. (name) was absent yesterday because her head got stuck in a lions mouth. We had to tranquilize the lion and (name) had to under go surgery. Luckily there was no damage to (name) or the lion.
237. An actual note for being away that the mother of one of my friends (it was for being away on the day of the school's swimming carnival): "[STUDENT] was away yesterday because she had more constructive things to do."
238. This actually worked. My English teacher gave us homework and I didn't do mine. Well, she asked me why didn't I do my homework, and I couldn't just say that I didn't want to do the freaking homework, so I said "I'm not a homework kinda person". She laughed and I didn't do the homework for the entire year. I have an A... he he he!
239. For the typically good student who just needs a little 'break' from homework - simply tell your teacher that your mom/dad grabbed your notebook by mistake and left their work notebook for you. Works best if your notebook is plain black or burgundy.
240. When a teacher asks you why you aren't paying attention, you simply say "This attention guy never gave me a bill!"
241. Can Joe please be excused from completing his religious studies homework, he thought it did not apply to him as he has sold his soul to the devil. This one I did myself, my teacher was not too pleased, oh well!
242. I had an oral presentation due and I completely forgot about it. I told my teacher that I had dropped my note cards in a puddle on the way to school and the ink ran all over the place. I then presented her with several note cards that I had written nonsense on and then wetted in the sink. She gave me a two day extension.
243. When asked why my friend Sarah was not wearing her regulation school shoes she showed the teacher a note which read, "Please excuse Sarah for being out of uniform as a dingo ate her school shoes."
244. Well, my teacher asked someone in my class why they didn't have their homework. The person replied, "You're the teacher, shouldn't you know the answer to your own questions?" He got a detention, but maybe it'll work on other teachers. Good luck!!! :)
245. One day I was late to class and the teacher asked why I was late. I simply told him that I was late because the bell rang before I got there. It got me out of a detention so I was happy.
246. Please excuse Evan for school today. He leaves his clothes all over the floor and his fish tank busted and all of his clothes got wet.
247. This happened to me once. I had my math worksheet on a coffee table. I had finished it and left it there to go out to eat. When I came back, my dog had gotten to it and ripped it to pieces! So instead of having no homework I put it back together and typed a copy on my computer. The next day I turned in both pages, one in whole form and the other in an envelope.
248. My son/daughter could not attend school today because we have decided to ship him off to Switzerland for military school for a a couple of days but don't worry he will come back as a perfect gentle men.
     Sincerely, (your parents name)
249. In eighth grade, I had didn't wish to do this huge science packet on soil science, extremely boring stuff, so I just filled in a few of the pages with gibberish, rubbed old, melted Halloween candy all over the top page, ripped most of it up, and persuaded my rabbit, who truly does enjoy eating paper, to nibble some of the corners. I presented this to my teacher the next day, while I cried a bit, and was rewarded for my efforts with a 100.
250. If you haven't done your homework and you are relatively good at acting, try this. It works like a charm. When your teacher asks the class for the homework smile and look through your bag as though you are bringing it out. About a minute in, start to look really worried and turn to your friend. When the teacher comes over to you keep going through your bag and look up with puppy dog eyes and announce you must have dropped some things out of your bag. It also helps if you say there was a twenty in your notebook because the teacher is bound to be more understanding if she thinks you've lost a large sum of cash.
251. A man came to me and said, "homework or your life!" I couldn't possibly give him my life so I gave him my homework.
252. My dog died and so I am having trouble with my homework so I didn't get it done cause I was grieving over my dead dog Max.
253. This is an excuse my father wrote for me in high school. I had a tendency to wake up horribly late or not at all. "Please excuse autumn for being late today, she was having an emotional breakdown."
254. I told the teacher for two weeks in a row, "I was late to class because I could not find your class!" It worked!
255. I was going to give you my homework but my mom already graded it!
256. Sorry I'm late but my bus was hi-jacked by Turkish rebels--- My teacher didn't believe me but it made her laugh so she wasn't annoyed!
257. A friend of mine had a note from her mum that stated "please believe whatever **** tells you" signed and dated. Apparently she was in a hurry that morning.
258. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bus.
259. I was late to school because a bus ran me down.
260. I'm sorry teacher I did my homework but the funniest thing happen! Taylor ate it! She got a little hungry when she was copying me.
261. True story: My duck ate my paper and the teacher believed me!
262. This is a Monday excuse... If late for class tell the teacher you went fishing, if he/she asks why you didn't go fishing on the weekend say, "everyone else goes fishing on the weekend and you can't catch any fish."
263. If you own a hamster or other small animal then you use this excuse: I'm sorry I haven't got my homework but I let my hamster run over my desk as a did it and he pissed on it as I was doing it and I didn't think you would what the paper. I tried and it worked!
264. My Biology homework was abducted by aliens, as they are studying Human Biology. But they decided it wasn't graphic enough. Unfortunately it was thrown in the bin with the remains of the body they dissected after reading it...
265. I couldn't hand in my homework because my best friend used it to catch dog shit from my dog so it wouldn't get on the carpet.
266. No Homework - my dog ate my homework and my rabid mum ate the dog ( in the case of a rare ginny )
267. I am methodically testing all the homework excuses that I can find on the internet and actually bringing my homework would defeat the purpose.
268. My six year old son told his teacher that he was late because his mother couldn't drive fast because the old lady in front of her wouldn't get out of her way. The next time he was late he told her that the power went out and we could not get our garage door to open so we had to call a cab. He is the MASTER at only six.
269. I actually used this one when I walked into class ten minutes late: A pack of wild dogs got into the school and started chasing me, so I had to take a lap around the school to shack them. Don't worry though I'm alright. The teacher laughed and then gave me detention.
270. This is true: Me and this guy were on our second day of high school, which had totally different classes than the first. We didn't know much but we knew which classes were where. Our teacher told us to go to our lockers, but we weren't aloud to our lockers unless it's the beginning or end of the day, so naturally we thought school was over. We packed up our stuff and left, neither of us had a watch so we had no idea. We ended up missing our first math class, staying after school and having to see our vice principal. She never understood how we didn't know the time. He hated being wrong, so his excuse was, "the teacher's should know what their talking about." Yo u should have seen her face.
271. Also true: My little bro is always complaining that he doesn't want to go to school. Well once because of it I missed the bus, ended up walking, was late and got detention it was my second week second day!! My excuse was the truth they thought it was preposterous and said, "take an earlier bus!" (I already get up at 6:45).
272. An excuse I heard from one of my friends was in grade 3. He said , "I wasn't at school yesterday because I was half way (he walks) and I realized I forgot my pants and had to turn back." (everyone laughed and he was excused!!!)
273. This will probably work if you have several buildings on campus that requires you to cross the busy student parking lot, and if you have a free period later that day, and then a class after the free period. Teacher, sorry I was absent on (day). A reckless student ran over my foot, so I had to go to the emergency room during my free period. It took longer than I expected so I was not able to make it to your class that day. (Present the shoe that got run over and has tire indent marks on it) That ACTUALLY happened to me a couple of weeks ago. After I got back to school from being in the ER, I was still wearing the shoes that had tire marks on it. My Applied Biology/Chemistry class was supposed to go to the school greenhouse, which is a good 3 minutes from where my class is. When she said, "OK, kids, let's go to the greenhouse!" I said, "No way ~ My foot got ran over this morning and the doc advised me not to do too much walking and to take it easy!" and then I showed her my shoe. She let me get off with not going to the greenhouse and said, "I hope you get well soon." So I didn't have to do anything and I was waiting in the hallway for my next class. :-D
274. Actual excuse given in a science class, It wasn't accepted. The atomic structure of my essay became unstable, so it disintegrated.
275. If you turn up to school late, you have to sign a book in the office. One day I turned up about an hour late, and I was waiting for the office lady to give me a note to go to class, so I started reading the late book and saw that one student had put speed limit in the "reason for lateness" column. (*I thought it was a classic)
276. Lora will not be at school today as she is at a very important rally demanding better pay and conditions for her 'hard working' teachers!
277. This happened to my friend a few weeks ago (it is in his AIM profile) Prof. Cormican: "Where were you in class today?" Me: "There were extenuating circumstances, I couldn't make it" ::: pause ::: Prof: "Who was she?"
278. This is a note my dad wrote to my teacher so I didn't have to hand in my English homework. I never thought he was that stupid! "Elizabeth cannot hand in her English as she forgot it."
279. Once I didn't want to do an assignment, so I told my teacher that It was against my ethic morals and therefore couldn't do it. She laughed and gave me detention.
280. Given a piece of coursework by my teacher in September I didn't do it. About 2 months after the due date I had to go to parents evening where my dad who did not know of the lateness of my work would find out. When the teacher asked about the work I asked, "didn't you find it? I left it on your desk they day after it was due!" My teacher is now searching the school for a piece of non existent coursework. :)
281. A kid kept telling the football coach that someone died and that was why he missed practice. First his grandmother, then it was a great uncle. About the third time in a month he came in and said: "Coach, I am sorry I missed practice yesterday, but my 2nd cousin..." Coach said, "Son you need to quit this shit before you end up an orphan."
282. In 7th grade I was a teacher's pet. Then one day I forgot 3 assignments, so I told him I left them in the printer and forgot to pick them up cause my essay was SO good and long that I had to walk away while it printed. He bought it!!
283. Just say I was up really late last night trying to finish my essay on the computer and my sister was chasing my cat around the house and she ran bye the computer and stepped on the cord I didn't get a chance to save it and my parents said I should just go to bed and my teacher would understand. Then look at your teacher with big eyes and ask for an extension. I tried this in science and it worked.
284. This will always work. Sorry I'm late (teacher name) but I was walking to school and I read the sign Slow School Zone.
285. What? Homework? What Is Homework?
286. My mom was lighting a cig when i was doin my homework!
287. Me and my friend were often late to our math lesson after lunch and our teacher was a bit a strict one, so I always made sure I had an excuse ready to give if he asked. The excuse was - well, I desperately had to pee and the line in the girls toilets was really long. I just had to wait coz I couldn't hold on any longer! Nevertheless me and my friend never got asked for an excuse coz we were teachers pets =D
288. Please excuse Jason from school today as he has misplaced his trousers.
289. Please excuse my daughter from school today she has to catch up on her homework you have given her!
290. I didn't go to class yesterday because I got lost.
291. In our PE classes we are required to wear our hair up. One day this gurl in my class had refused to put her hair up. When the PE teacher asked her about it she replied: "I'm not allowed to put my hair up, I have strep throat and my doc says I have to sweat it out."
292. Hi my mum is an art teacher she heard this one once:- Miss at the weekend I went to my nans in Yorkshire and we stayed in a caravan. I left my work in there and yesterday she died, the caravan was sold with my work in it sorry.
293. Sorry Johnny was not at school yesterday he had diari (crossed out), diaher (crossed out), diree (crossed out), oh just forget it, He had the SHITS!
294. One time I was late for class and I said; I had to go to the bathroom and to top it off I placed a piece of toilet paper on my shoe and to make it stick I put peanut butter on it then sprayed it with fart spray. (it worked but I got suspended for not seeing it on my shoe)
295. Sorry I am late for class. My foot got stuck in the toilet when the toilet paper was stuck I had to push it down with my foot.
296. A UFO crash-landed in front of me on my way to school this morning. It ran out of gas and they needed my homework to power their ship home. (It never worked, but the teachers always had a good laugh and would give me an extension.)
297. I actually used this in 6th grade. First we had 2 do a country report and the first 2 pages where due and the day before. I had my 7 year old brother break a floppy disc and showed my teacher and told him my brother got curious and wanted 2 see what was inside.
298. I'm Sorry I don't have my homework, but my friend isn't done copying it yet.
299. I'm sorry. You see I did all my homework and put it on the counter to put in my back pack later. Then I was supposed to make my little brother dinner, but I forgot since my favorite TV show was on. Well my little brother saw this thing on the counter that looked like a really flat pancake and ate it. So you see, my dog didn't eat my homework, my little brother did.
300. I'm sorry I don't have my homework. My family got a new paper shredder and we had to see if it was working.
301. I couldn't do my homework coz I got stuck in a mine-shaft.
302. I over slept and my mom is great at calling in fake excuses for me (does it when I'm late for work too). So anyways when she called the school she hadn't thought up an excuse yet and she didn't want to say I was sick since she called me in sick the previous week. So after about 10 seconds of blankly staring at me she said , "we went to my uncle's Emu farm and Amanda got too close to the Emu and it chewed off a chunk of her hair." So then after she hung up with my school, we had to go down and get a haircut so my story would clear!!
303. This is a TRUE story- When I was in 5th Grade, my brother was 1 year old and just teething. My mom was sleeping, so he was in my room and I was watching him. I had to go to the bathroom, so I gave him a pretzel and went to the bathroom. When I got back, he had finished the pretzel and started on my reading worksheet. I said, No!, but he wouldn't listen. I turned around to give him a blank piece of loose-leaf paper, but all he would eat was my homework. I finished the work as best I could, then I put it in a plastic bag and brought it to school. Maybe because I had the NICEST teacher, or the paper was really chewed up, but she believed me. You could also chew up the paper yourself and say your sister/brother/neighbor/cat/dog ate it!
304. Hi, when I used to go to school there was a register for the school kids to give their excuses for being late. A friend of mine (Mossey) once wrote in this very register that, "on his way to school 6 baby ducks started to follow him as he walked across a field and he was unable to loose them so he had to have them follow him home and call a vet to take care of them." He still insists to this day (8 years later) that his excuse was genuine.
305. Celia was absent from school yesterday as she was mourning the death of the recently deceased hamster.
306. I did not bring my gym clothes today because last night my grandmother asked me to come over and keep her company. Unexceptionally my Nonna asked me to sleep over and I did. The next day I went in the closet to look for my gym clothes and they weren't there because it was not my closet.
307. I'm sorry Mr. / Mrs. __________ I really had to go to the bathroom and I would hate having to interrupt your lesson to leave such a great class and go then.
308. I was eating dinner when World War 3 broke out in my kitchen. The soldiers were everywhere and when I dropped my homework I lost it. I didn't have time to search for it because we had to go in a bomb shelter for the night.
309. If any of you are Chinese: Sorry it's Chinese new year and we partied all night long and then when I came back it was already 1:00!!!!!! so I had no chance to do it!!!!!
310. I cant take gym because I'm too fat to swim laps.
311. I didn't have a pencil.
312. Well, my best friend used this and it actually worked with her college English professor. She said that she was working on her paper and then got up to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom she lost one of her contacts and even though the entire floor of her dorm helped her search, they still couldn't find it. She didn't have glasses or extra contacts so she couldn't see to finish her homework. She also couldn't drive so she had to call her mom who lived two states away to come get her and take her to the eye doctor. This not only got her an extension on the paper but excused from class too! By the way, none of her story is true except for the fact that she wears contacts.
313. This homework excuse works real good. Teacher- Where is your homework? you- Well I was really hungry & it was the first thing I saw so I ate it.
314. If you don't wanna go to school, do this: If you have a heating pad turn it on and put on your forehead for about 15 minutes, that gives you a fever, then tell your mom/dad you have cramps and a fever. If they ask to feel your stomach cramp it up and then you don't have to go to school because you have a fever from the heating pad!!!! : )
315. Teacher: Why are you late? You: I had a nose bleed so had to wait till it cleared up. This works every time! I've used it lots of times! Can work for if your late for lunch, break, in the morning, anytime!
316. *TRUE STORY* Okay there was this one time when I was really really tired and I just couldn't get out of bed to go to school. I hadn't finished my homework from the nite before and I dint want to go to school AT ALL!! So I called up one of my friends and told her to act like my mom and say that I was too sick to go to school. Well she did but she didn't say I was sick. She said that my period was too heavy and I had yeast infection. I was so mad. They next day when I went to school all the teachers were looking at me like I was crazy!
317. For homework: Tell the teacher that you finished it in class yesterday and turned it in early and so the teacher would think that they lost it.
318. Never mind the dog eating my homework, the homework ate my dog! If you really want me to turn it in, I can go to the hospital and see if the paper passed the dog yet.
319. True Story. I was in grammar school, but the school didn't have any buses, and the parents had to drop the kids off at school. One day, my Mom and I were about to leave for school. I opened the door, and our cat, Smoker, came in. The only problem was that he had caught a rabbit! It was a full-grown adult rabbit, but he wouldn't let go of it or come out from under the kitchen table. With a broom and a towel and a little luck, we managed to catch them both and put them outside. I made Mom go inside school with me to tell the Principal what happened because I didn't think they'd believe me.
320. I was up so late last night I left my homework on the porch and when it rained it got messed up. But I promise I did it.
321. This guy I know had a HUGE homework assignment and he forgot till 4:00 a.m. 3 hours before school was going to be in session, he hurried to his sister's room to find some paper and the computer and he pulled some paper out and started writing. The next day after his teacher read it he said to the kid are you ok because your project was on Tampons the kid said no I wear them. Needless to say he got a 2 week extension.
322. For homework (will probably work if you are REALLY brainy): I am taking a philosophy doctorate, and my thesis is that all excuses for not doing homework on the internet are highly unreliable. To test this, I have to try them all. QED, it would defeat the object of my thesis if I were to actually complete the homework. I shall credit you when I publish my paper on the said thesis. I haven't tried it yet.... Another excuse for not doing the homework; My home is being redecorated and the paint fumes confused me, thus not enabling me to do my homework. My Math teacher once blamed getting a really easy sum wrong on paint fumes, if it worked for her I don't see why it shouldn't work for anyone else....
323. My cat died and I was too sad to go to school.
324. My homework got ripped in me bag!
325. This really worked, I had this big social studies project due, which you had to find a article out of the newspaper and have a stapled written paragraph on how it was related to your amendment. I didn't do it, so I just wrote the paragraphs and wrote fake summaries on the amendments. Then I put some glue on the page to look like there was something glued there. Then when she asked were are the newspaper articles that the paragraphs were on, I looked shocked and said, "they were there last night, they must have fallen off today." She let it go, and I got an A+.
326. One time my teacher asked why I didn't have my homework and I said because I didn't do it and he gave me an extra day to do it! But the second time I tried it it didn't work I got a Zero on the assignment.
327. Homework (this is true) - I don't have my homework miss because my dad, not realizing what it was, scribbled a naughty word on it when he was on the phone to his boss.
328. My Friend used this in the seventh grade. Sorry Tim was absent but he was thinking of Erika Crisp and he passed out... you know why. Used and it worked. Its mine I THOUGHT IT UP FOR HIM. Its also 1 week old.
329. This really happened. "I'm sorry but I didn't turn in my homework because my retarded brother used it to blow his nose." (I'm serious, he's 15 too, ugh)
330. I don't have my home work because my fish tank broke and soaked my room and my homework.
331. I don't have my home work because I left it on top of my moms car and we drove off and lost all of it.
332. I don't have my home work because my brother cleared the table and threw it away with a stack of magazines.
333. I don't have my home work because my bother and I accidentally switched note-books and he has my stuff.
334. I don't have my home-work because my brother got mad at me and tore it from under me and ripped it up and spit and it before returning it.
335. I don't have my home work because my Mom cut herself and I had to get some thing for her and the closest thing to her was my work so I tossed it to her and by the time I got the towel the work was ruined.
336. I don't have my home work because my dad accidentally took it with his folders for his work and he keeps then there so I won't get them back for a day or so.
337. I don't have my home-work because my best friend and I got in a fight and she stole my book-bag and other things.
338. Please excuse me but the power went out and we had to see so I lit a candle then it fell on my homework. (burn up your homework halfway and do the top half)
339. I am late to school because of that darn daylight savings time change.
340. I couldn't do my homework because I looked at the sun too long while I was thinking and couldn't see till I woke up.
341. Once I had some course work to hand in but I hadn't done it so I told the teacher that it was on my home computer and some on had got a magnet really close to it and it had wiped the hard drive, not only did she believe me but I got another month to do it and some help!
342. Teacher: Are you chewing gum? You: (as you pretend to cough and when you cough you drop the gum into your hand) No I am not chewing on anything Teacher: Oh well then what's in your mouth? You: My teeth And after the teacher is done asking you about your gum, next time she turns her back toward you ,you hurry up and put the gum back in your mouth.
343. True Story: I ask my students to have their parents write a note, explaining why they were missing their homework. But one kid told me that he had given his dad an invisible ink pen. He had not realized that his dad wrote the note invisibly. His story checked out false.
344. My homework ate my dog and it had to be put to sleep.
345. "Sorry I'm late, and oh yeah, I don't have my homework either!" I am a teacher so I answered, " Why don't you have your homework and why are you late?" He replied, " Well ya know how our homework was to follow all directions that we see for the next 24 hours..... " I replied "Yes....." "Well," he said, this morning I was having orange juice and I was stuck staring at the box thingy for hours because the box said concentrate, and I like didn't want to break your rule of not following the directions, and my mom wouldn't let me bring the orange juice thingy to school, so that is why I didn't have my homework!" I rolled my eyes as the student sat down. The funny thing is, that almost all orange juice boxes say "from CONCENTRATE!"
346. After being absent from college for four weeks a guy I know was called up before the dean guy. When he was asked why he missed so much college he said that his girlfriend had gotten pregnant and he had to get a job to support them. He didn't even have a girlfriend, they believed him. He missed the next month and was called up again. This time he said that his girlfriend had a miscarriage and he was too upset to go to college. It had to work.... genius!
347. I called Miss Cleo and she said I would be sick today so I didn't do the homework.
348. You: (While your mom is on the phone in deep conversation) Oh yeah Mom here's my report card (full of F's and D's)!! Can you sign it? Mom: Sure honey... (Without looking at your horrible grades)
349. Please excuse Megan K. from class today, she was sick and she barfed. Not only did she barf... but she pooped all over her barf! Then the dog came along, thought that Megan K. was trying to communicate with the dog and the dog pooped all over Megan K.
350. Dear Gym Teacher, My son cannot participate in today's class for he strained his back after carrying me over a puddle.
351. Best Homework excuses:
     Write one side leaving it ending in the middle of a sentence, then oh dam I've left the other part at home.
     My printer ran out of ink.
     My computer crashed!
     My disk wont open.
     I've forgotten it, can I bring it tomorrow? A week later: I think I've lost it miss!
     I left it in my shirt and my mum put it in the washing machine.
352. One time I was late for lunch and I said that the bell I didn't hear the bell go of so she let me go. One thing it was at the beginning of the 2nd part of my half block and there isn't any bell.
353. My parents are divorced so we are going to a class every night for changing families. So I wasn't able to finish my homework.
354. Well I didn't do my homework because my little sister who was just born slobbered all over it and the I couldn't make it out. Then she must have crawled out of bed and ate my pencil because in the morning when I went to try and make it out again it was gone.
355. I'm, in third year of high school but in first year a guy in my friend's class was half an hour late for the first class one day. He walked into class announcing: "Sorry I'm late; my clothes wouldn't match!" He got away with it as well.
     Last year this same guy and a group of his friends thought it would be great if they all bleached their hair. This lead to a series of disasters. The guy I mentioned left the bleach on too long so all his hair fell out. He used this as an excuse so all the teachers let him wear a baseball cap in class for a few weeks which is usually not allowed!
     A couple of weeks ago I had to go to the loo in between classes to adjust my thong and get something out of my hair (NO IDEA how it got there!) making me late for my class. I said that I went to the loo 'coz I didn't feel well and had friends asking me how I was for the rest of the lesson....hehe!! :-)
356. Teacher: "Where have you been? You've missed a whole period!" Female student: "You mean I'm pregnant?!"
357. Please excuse Bobby from school for the entire week. He has contracted a venereal disease and might spread it around.
358. This works all the time in Israel: "Someone left a bag on a street bench so the police blocked-out the entire block because they think it might have an explosive charge in it, and my bus had to take a serious detour through some really slow traffic." ...And half the times it's true.
359. Teacher: Why where you late? Student: I ran outa bus tickets. My bro actually used this one and it worked!
360. One day I was really fed up with some problems to the point that I didn't go to school. The next day I was still upset, but I still showed up to classes. One of my teachers asked me why I was absent the previous day. Since I was still in a bad mood, I told him in a deep threatening voice, "I was was absent because of personal reasons I don't want to discuss." There was a silence, then he shook my hand and said, "Marry the girl." It caught me by surprise. I ended up smiling the rest of the day.
361. Skipping a test: Walk in half an hour late and use the old "My mom didn't leave me any change for the bus ticket and I had to walk" excuse. Then - "You mean I don't have any time left to do the test??? And after I studied so hard! That's so unfair!". I'm gonna try this out tomorrow. Wish me luck...
362. Sorry I didn't come to school yesterday. You (the teacher) were sick yesterday.
363. I was late for school because when I was running I tripped over a sprinkler.
364. A boy in my class at secondary school was late for school every day. He decided he was bored of the everyday excuses and so wrote in the late book; ' I was late because I had a dream that my alarm clock had turned into a chicken'. He was also known to have written 'well it was either get to school on time with no coursework or get to school late with coursework'.
365. In my school in Britain the teachers don't believe most of the excuses you tell them, so it was hardly surprising that my teacher didn't believe this excuse that my friend told her... "While I was printing of my homework the dog ate the printer miss." "You don't have a dog," the teacher replied. "Well, I ate the printer miss." "Why?" "Lack of food miss!"
366. My Brother actually used this once, "I was late for school today because my brother replaced my milk in my cereal to Crazy Glue and my mouth stuck together and we needed to melt the glue." They actually accepted it because it was such a Creative excuse.
367. (Actually used in my grade 11 creative writing class) Me: I was sitting there proofreading my essay at my computer when a throng of rabid turtles came and abducted both my computer and my printer. Teacher: I would think that you would have been able to catch up to a bunch of turtles. Me: You'd think so, but I was never very good at running, and these were some very fast turtles. (At this point my teacher burst out laughing and ended up giving me an extension, claiming that I was probably the most imaginative student that he had ever taught).
368. I did finish my homework but I left it at home and my hamster got it.
369. TRUE STORY --> (high school) One day, I had hockey practice in the morning for my school team, so I had to bring most of my equipment and my hockey stick to school. My locker is very small, and I didn't want to carry around my equipment with me all day, so my last choice was to keep it in one of my teacher's classroom for the day. (let's call this teacher Mr. X) My homeroom teacher (Mr. Z.) was very strict about being late in his class. I was waiting outside of Mr. X's classroom for 10 minutes, waiting for him to arrive. At 8:30 (the time I'm supposed to be in Mr. Z's class) he finally arrived. I asked him if I could keep my equipment in his room, and he said yes. By this time, it was 8:35 and I had to be in assembly. I told Mr. Z in assembly that I was late because I was waiting for Mr. X to show up so I could ask him if I could leave my equipment in his room. He didn't believe me, so I told him to ask Mr. X about it. He did, and Mr. X told him exactly what happened. Mr. Z still didn't like the idea of my being late for class, even though I had proof for why I was late, so he told me that either I could get a late slip (resulting in a detention) or pay $1 which would go to charity. Not wanting to have to be stuck in detention, I paid the dollar!
370. Well I was late to school today because it was really hot making the molecules on the road stretch making the journey to school longer.
371. Teacher: Where is your homework? You: Miss! I was walking along and aliens landed in front of me and took my homework, I got it back, I had to beat them with a handy screwdriver! Teacher: So where is your homework? You: Steve took it... Teacher: Where's Steve? You: On the moon.... the aliens took Steve.
372. Sorry But I won't be able to come to school today because well u see my dog died and then my cat then my little brother flushed my fish down the toilet and the bird was eaten by the cat before it died and well u get the story. So we'll be out buying new pets.
373. You say that your screaming caterpillar ate your homework. It worked for me.
374. I didn't do my science home work one time, and I told my science teacher that I didn't get a chance to do my home work because my grandpa had a stroke. She actually believed me and felt sorry for me. And told me to hand it in when ever I had the chance. Then I went back and told her I lied and she was hysterically laughing. It might not sound funny but it was to me.
375. I was walking to school and I walked past a bank when a robber came out and tried to shot me, but he missed and shot my book bag. My book bag caught on fire because the bullet hit my flammable perfume.
376. (I actually used this one) I was about to do my homework but then the dog peed everywhere in the car so the paper I was gonna do my homework with was the paper I had to clean it up with.
377. My homework ate my dog!
378. An excuse for not having your homework (this has worked for me on more than one occasion... sometimes it's been true, sometimes I just haven't felt like coming up with a better excuse): "My mother cleaned my room yesterday, without my permission, while I wasn't home, and she threw out all my papers that weren't on my desk and now I can't find anything in there!"
379. One time at college I didn't fancy going to class so to get out of it I said that I had to go and pick my brother up from school as he had broke his arm, the funny thing is we live about 2 minutes from the school, my brother was too old for school and I couldn't even drive, plus my teacher knew this and saw me having a driving lesson the day before and she didn't even question it. I'm actually off work at the moment lying saying I have diarrhea and most of it is blood.
380. My bird was out and I was doing my homework and she stole my paper and flew out the window.
381. I didn't do my homework because I didn't feel like it.
382. Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday. She was in traffic and had to use the bathroom real bad. She pooped in her panties bathroom and had to come home and change.
383. "Jonny, this is the 8th time that you didn't do your homework this week!" "I know, you see the problem is I tried to go onto WordPad but that didn't work so a sign came up that said connect to AOL... and you know I started chatting and stuff and then a hacker came onto my account and well the whole computer shut down, and I can't write because when the computer shut down it went on fire and it exploded and it burned my fingers so now I have no fingers... so therefore I cant write or do tests."
384. Mom I can't go to school. I have to go to the bathroom instead.
385. I was in my dorm and thought for some reason my class was at 2 pm (when it was really at 1). I remembered at 1:45, and rushed to class as fast as I could. To make matters worse, there was an exam that day! I explained the situation to my professor, and he said, "I don't usually allow students to make up exams" but let me take it later that day!
386. Mom: Where's your homework? You: (in a sad voice) Oh mommy it was horrible! Some mean ol kids raided my back pack and took my stuff! Look!
387. The guy I like actually used this excuse when he came in late. He lives about 5 or 6 miles from our school. He said he'd ridden his skateboard to school and he was about an hour late! It was hilarious!
388. This is good school excuse. I told the people in the office I stopped to help an old lady change a flat tire and she hit me in the head with a tire iron. It helps if you recently hit your head and have a knot you can use as proof. They thought it was so original they just told me to go to class.
389. Here's a good school excuse, say that when you took a shower that morning the doorknob came off in your hand and your parents had already left the house. I had the people at school call my dad and he confirmed that when he came back home he had to break down the door so I could get out.
390. When I was a kid I forgot to do a homework assignment and when asked by the teacher the next day I told her I was dead last night and could not do my homework.
391. This is one have used about ten times. When you forget an essay say that you were working on the essay and someone (parent, sibling, friend) walked past with a drink in their hand and they tripped and got the computer wet and it exploded. This works every time.
392. Reason for not having assignment: I dropped the disk in the toilet. A TRUE STORY!
393. My grandma died...again.
394. My laptop ate my homework.
395. I got hungry and ate my home work.
396. Sorry teach, I wasn't here for the last 6 months because my mom said that I had to go to china to give my uncle some American food to live off of. Can you believe this is a true story my teach actually bought it hint hint - she was Chinese!!!
397. Put tape over your 2 writing fingers the day you have a big test and say you jammed your fingers playing basketball and can't write.
398. My daughter couldn't go to school yesterday because my mother died and we had to cremate her. My daughter was too upset.
399. Sorry, but I don't have my homework because when I was working last night my bird was out flying around and crapped on it.
400. After my friend and I had skipped a science class her fathers note read : Please excuse Kate from Mr. Smiths third period science class as she was "puking in the bathroom" Tom Moore P.S. Ya I didn't believe it either!

Send mail to Madtbone with questions or comments about this web site.