Breaking Dates and Relationships Excuses
I'm sorry so sorry..... but I have to break our date! Most of us have heard that one before. Well here is a place to find a new one or put out ones that you have given or received. Please send yours in today!
- Listen, Fred I'm really sorry that I can't go over 
			to your house on Friday night. My parents said that it is going to 
			be family night and we are going to check out all the casino action 
			listed in Atlantic Ccity and I don't want to miss 
			it.
 
 
- I'm sorry or maybe not, but I can't go out with you 
			tonight! My boyfriend just got back from 
			College and he is good 
			looking and your not, he's tall and your not. I know this is a piss 
			poor excuse but I'm going out with him and not you. That is why I'm 
			a psycho bitch ok, just Good-Bye!
 
 
- I'm sorry I can't go out with you tonight like we planned, 
			because I just found out there is a 
			Leave It To Beaver marathon on 
			TV and I can't betray Wally.
 
 
-  I am a little embarrassed because I actually fell for 
			this. I had just started going out with this guy and he told me that 
			he couldn't attend the 
			BBQ at my best friend's house because a good 
			friend was having problems with his ex-girlfriend. When asked to 
			explain problems, he said that his friend's ex-girlfriend was having 
			people drive by the house killing his dogs one at a time. His friend 
			needed him there for moral support, losing a girlfriend is one thing 
			but losing a dog is heartbreaking. When I questioned him on how 
			realistic he was sounding, and why the police hadn't been contacted, 
			he said his friend lived in the country and this was the country way 
			of taking care of problems, and you didn't call the police to this 
			type of situation.
 
- This guy would not take "no" for an answer. So I told him 
			that I had received an obscene phone call, and had the phone tapped. 
			He shouldn't phone me because the police might inquire at work or 
			home, and I didn't want him to be embarrassed. He never called 
			again. Whew!
 
- My friend who is divorced with two kids, wanted to get 
			rid of this guy she was dating so, she told him: I had a sex change; 
			I used to be a man but now I'm a woman. That's why we can't be 
			intimate.
 
-  Now this is an actual excuse I used. This guy wouldn't 
			leave me alone so I told him that I was so glad I had a great friend 
			like him and that I wanted to be able to confide in him more. Of 
			course he was happy about this. So I went on to tell him that I was 
			having problems with my lesbian lover. We went on to actual be 
			really really good friends. So then he went on to ask me if he could 
			join us. Then I was caught in the lie and had to tell him the truth. 
			Luckily he understood and we are still good friends.
 
- I wanted out of a relationship so I told the guy that 
			since he wasn't there for the miscarriage I suffered, I could no 
			longer be with him. Of course I was never pregnant in the first 
			place. It was cruel but it did work and it was creative.
 
- Well this guy said he really liked me and we should get 
			together. We do have a lot in common. We set the day and the time, I 
			let him know I would cook and have it ready when he got there. So we 
			were talking on the phone at the time, he told me to page him or he 
			would call me Sept.18th,1999.To get good directions. I suppose his 
			excuse is he erased all 5 of my pages ,forgot to write the number 
			down .....and couldn't find my house because he couldn't call for 
			directions. Boy he doesn't know what he is missing. I am probably 
			his dream come true, but after that I would have to say no matter 
			how good looking I am thru with him. He is missing a very beautiful 
			person, inside and out. There isn't another guy I know that would do 
			that ,that knows me. They are trying to find me and asking 
			directions from everyone in the small town I live in.
 
- I'm going to Hell for this one. I met two guys around 
			the same time that really liked. We have been Emailing back and 
			forth for awhile and I have been hesitant on going out with either 
			of them. I want to date them, but I need a little time before I am 
			ready (we'll get to the reason shortly). So I wrote them both 
			letters saying I was sorry for delaying, but I was having some 
			troubles with an ex-boyfriend of mine. I proceeded to say how much I 
			believed in building a relationship on honesty and I hoped he would 
			understand if it took some time before we could go out. Now for the 
			really bad part: I came to this website looking for a really good 
			excuse to use when I break up with my current boyfriend.  Withheld 
			due to incrimination....I ain't giving this out either.
 
- I cannot go out with you tonight because I need to start 
			spending more time with my blender.
 
- My best friend, Maddie told me this over the phone, This 
			is an excuse for females who are being hounded by "unattractive men" 
			or extremely jealous women who have nothing better to do except 
			cause trouble. My girlfriend was accused by her neighbor's wife of 
			sleeping with her husband whom she had said "hi" to once in a 
			grocery store . She told the wife that if her husband was the last 
			man on Earth, she would commit suicide!"
 
- I had been dating one fellow for almost two years, but 
			he wouldn't commit. So when the second fellow started hanging 
			around, I didn't object. However, when fellow #1 was due back into 
			town for a visit, I had to think of something to keep fellow #2 from 
			visiting or calling for a few days, so I told fellow #2 I was 
			visiting my grandmother in another state. He bought it. Fellow #2 is 
			now husband, and we still laugh about my little white lie.
 
- I'm sorry but I have to break our date tonight. Y'see I 
			kinda got my penis stuck in a rusty toaster.
 
- This really works! "I'm sorry I can't go out with you 
			tonight, the cat exploded and I have to take it to the vet.' If your 
			date asks if he/she can come with you, tell them you have cat guts 
			stuck in your teeth, and wouldn't be very good company."
 
- I'm sorry I have to break our date. My goldfish died, 
			and as I flushed it down the toilet, the toilet broke and flooded my 
			bathroom. As I went outside to get my neighbor (he's a plumber), I 
			accidentally locked myself out. I tried to climb back in through the 
			window, but I caught my dressing gown on the window and I fell 
			(naked) to the ground. I have several injuries and I am too 
			embarrassed to leave the house.
 
-  "This is how to break a date: (if you live with your 
			parents) when the other person calls you, and asks you what they 
			want to do, say "Just a second, let me ask my mom" then you go to 
			your mom and scream "MOM! F--- YOU!!" almost any mother would then 
			ground you....Case solved, instead of being with the 
			loser....quality time with yourself."
 
- I can't go out with you tonight because my husband Tony 
			has told me that if he finds out that I am seeing someone else I'm 
			gonna wake up with their head on my pillow, did I mention that my 
			husband's in the Mafia?
 
-  A friend of mine was turned down with this line, "I 
			can't that night because my mom is cooking me a liver dinner."
 
- I'm sorry that I cannot go out on a date with you but I 
			come from Lavitia. In Lavitia the word yes means no, thank you very 
			much but I am gay.
 
- This is for one of those friends that you just don't 
			want to see this particular day. (I really used this) I cant come 
			over, I'm too busy watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. friend: But, 
			this is Friday, it was on 2 days ago me: Oh, I know, I taped it. I'm 
			watching it today friend: but you taped it, you can watch it anytime 
			me: Nope, sorry, Friday is my taped Buffy day. (walks away)
 
- I'm sorry that I have to break our date, but you see I 
			was out bowling with my friend's tonight and I got my hand stuck in 
			the ball, and they had to take me to the E.R. Where they had to saw 
			it off of my hand. My hand is now swollen to extreme measures, and 
			they have me on this really weird medicine that makes me sneeze and 
			fart every 10-15 minutes. SORRY!
 
- This guy that did something for me really cheap asked me 
			on a date and feeling obligated to say "yes" I did. When he called 
			to set up a time, I told him that I forgot I had this really big 
			project due and I couldn't go out with him.
 
- I've actually used this one - I'm sorry but I can not go 
			out with you due to my deathly reaction to total DUMB ASSES (A.K.A 
			YOU)
 
- Well normally my roommate and I simply don't answer the 
			phone but after a while it gets really annoying. My roommate and I 
			fall into that stupid college bind of kissing someone while 
			intoxicated then giving our numbers out. Here are a few 1) Sorry I 
			just realized what you look like sober and you are not cute! 2) I'm 
			going out with my boyfriend tonight can you give me a call another 
			time please 3) Sorry but I've f----d way to many of your brothers at 
			this point I can't afford another bc I will get a rep.
 
- I'm sorry I can't go out with you, because if we ever 
			got to the point of me seeing you naked, there would not be enough 
			voltage in the world to shock me back into coherency!
 
- Talk about a sure fire way to break a date. This is a 
			"dirty little secret" that I have since learned is used fairly 
			commonly among women ages 18-29. A woman (let's just call her 
			Hairiett) was giving me mixed signals one time at a bar. It was very 
			unclear to me whether or not she was interested in my invitation for 
			a date. She and her girlfriend said they needed to slip away to go 
			to the ladies room and assured me they "would be right back." Well, 
			nearly 10 minutes passed before I saw them emerge together from the 
			rest room. "What took you so long?" I said. "Weeellll," said 
			Hairiett, the 22 year-old I was interested in, "we got a little side 
			tracked when I decided to take a dare from her," pointing at her 
			smiling accomplice. As she spoke, I noticed something in her teeth 
			-- maybe broccoli or spinach I thought. But the more I stared, the 
			more I realized that it wasn't food. IT WAS A PUBIC HAIR stuck right 
			in between her two front teeth! Needless to say I was effectively 
			blown off (no pun intended) by this woman and never asked her for a 
			date again. As I stated at the beginning, it is a dirty little 
			secret that many women pull this stunt when they want a guaranteed 
			way to escape your pursuit. Now that you have been adequately 
			warned, keep your eyes on her teeth! You just might be surprised 
			what you see.
 
-  The worse excuse for dumping someone is too much school 
			work.
 
- I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
 
- My boyfriend said this to me when we split up "I can't 
			see you anymore, my mom said so." Sad thing is, he is 25. 
 
- One time when a guy was suppose to go to a dance with 
			me, he broke the date 2 hours before saying he ate dog shit. 
			Thinking it was Pate, and was rushed to the hospital! Whatever!
 
-  I'm sorry but my friend is a psychic and she thinks that 
			you are the devil, and dating you would violate so many personal 
			rules of mine.
 
- This actually happened to me about 2 years ago. About 30 
			minutes before my date was supposed to pick me up, He phoned me and 
			said he had to cancel because his ex-wife's cat had died and he had 
			to help her pick out an urn for the cremated cat's ashes.
 
- Okay, I was on this blind date last summer with 
			this...troll. He was smelly and drunk by 8 pm and wanted to dance- 
			yuckiee!!! So I told him I had cramps and walked around holding my 
			tummy. 15 minutes later I was home safe and sound!
 
- Him: How about going out on Friday Night? Her: I'm 
			sorry, I'm washing my hair that night. Him: Well, how about 
			Saturday? Her: It has to dry.
 
- I would love to go out with you, but I need to ask my 
			fiancé, and I don't think he would like that very much. I actually 
			used this one, it really works!
 
- If you don't want to dance with someone: Say, " I'm 
			sorry but I just got my leg out of a Cast and the doctor told me to 
			stay off of it as much as possible.
 
- This one almost always works for breaking a date: "Well, 
			it's really sweet of you to ask, but I have to take my kids to see 
			their father in prison that day... How about Thursday?"
 
-  On the phone: I have to go because my sister is about to 
			hit me over the head with a hammer if I don't give her the phone. 
			I'll call you back later......if I live. I actually used this one 
			and it is true.......I had to wrestle the hammer away from her and 
			that's why I never got to call him back.
 
- I had a date call me 30 minutes before we were supposed 
			to go out. He said his ex-wife and their son were in an accident and 
			had to be taken to the hospital. I thought I would be nice the next 
			morning and take him some bagels for breakfast. I called all of the 
			area hospitals and he wasn't at any of them. After a couple of phone 
			calls, I never heard back from him, nor did we ever go out. Four 
			months later, when I had been dating someone else for 3 months, the 
			other guy sent me a card in the mail saying that he had been really 
			busy at work and now had the time to go out with me. I never 
			responded.
 
-  If you ever have problems getting someone to back off, 
			just mention to them that "the restraining order that your ex-lover 
			and their new lover had placed on you for stalking was just listed, 
			so yeah-sure, why not, you feel like celebrating!"
 
- Ladies~ this one always works for those freaks that 
			won't leave you alone: Lead them on a little bit, then have a friend 
			casually drop it in conversation to them that you are really only 14 
			years old and very developed for your age. You'll never hear from 
			them again!
 
- Sorry, I would love to stay/talk/go on a date with you 
			but I have to give my neighbors fish a bath!!!! *My friend, actually 
			said that to this guy that would not leave her alone*
 
- "Sure, I would love to go on a date with you. Let me 
			contact my Parole officer first and see if he will let me."
 
- I'm sorry I can't go out on a date with you tonight. Ya 
			see, I was micro waving some frozen hotdogs and I didn't quite cook 
			them correctly. They barely thawed out and all this hotdog-smelling 
			water spilled all over my pants. (he/she says: Than why didn't you 
			put on another pair of pants?) Well, I only have one other pair of 
			pants, and I peed those. I just don't think you'd be comfortable.
 
- I am sorry I cannot go out with you 'cause my Venus is 
			in Jupiter and yours is in Mars.
 
- My parents are coming over tonight and I've got to get 
			the house in order!
 
- I would go out with you but my Daddy is a professional 
			prisoner and he's out on a vacation right now.
 
-  Believe it or not this actually worked. I had this girl 
			that would not leave me alone, even though I told her that it was 
			over. Finally one day I got so tired of her I told her I can not see 
			her because my goldfish drowned and there were so many memories. I 
			never saw her again.
 
- I can't go out tonight, I've been lifting breezeblocks 
			all day. (This is a genuine excuse, used a few months back when my 
			friend Mark had run out of proper reasons not to go out.)
 
- "I'm sorry for breaking off our date, but I'm going out 
			of town for a long time.. i don't know if I can contact you in a 
			long time.." (actually I told this to someone, and my friend called 
			and said, 'you didn't tell me you were going out of town!' and I 
			told her I was just making it up as an excuse, and then she and the 
			guy started laughing- he was on three way calling!!!!)
 
- "I can't go out with you tonight as I have to wash my 
			cat."
 
- I'm really sorry I can't go out with you tonight, 
			because the Mother Ship only visits once 25 years.
 
- My boyfriend of several months, told me one night after 
			dinner, "I'm sorry, I can't go out with you any more."  "Why?" I 
			ask.  "Things (the relationship) are going too well.  I just can't 
			do this to myself."  Hmm. [ Note from Madtbone:  I guess some guys 
			just have to have a bad relationship to be happy.]
 
- I was dating this guy who worked at a venue where most 
			of the crowd was more punk-rock, I was like that back in High 
			School, anyway one of his excuses was that I looked normal!  Ha, I 
			may look normal, but I ask any one of my friends- I am definitely 
			one of a kind.  Lame excuse, Greg. 
 
-  My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he 
			"didn't have time for a relationship due to his hectic work and 
			school schedule"..... I found out a week later that what he REALLY 
			meant was that he was too busy for a relationship with me.... but he 
			had all the time in the world for his NEW girlfriend.... and that he 
			was already going out with her for two weeks before he broke up with 
			me..... and how did I find this out, you ask??? I called him after 
			the breakup, and his mom said "hi Sarah (not MY name), will you be 
			staying over with Greg again tonight?" grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... 
			MEN!!!!!
 
- I'm thinking of using this excuse pretty soon.  Me: 
			"Stephanie, we can't go out anymore, sorry."  Her: "Why?"  Me": 
			"Well, unfortunately, some girls yesterday made threats to me saying 
			if I don't dump you, they will report me to the principal for 
			bothering them due to the fact that they are bothered by us going 
			out."  If this excuse is submitted on this web page, then it'll 
			work!
 
- I'm sorry Cindy we can't go out tonight,  me and my 
			friends were  playing soccer, and the ball hit my  crotch!  And  my 
			tentacles are twisted and I can't walk! 
 
-  A friend of mine said that she had this friend that 
			wanted to meet me.  I talked to this friend on the phone and we 
			agreed to meet.  Working the late shift I gave enough time for this 
			girl to get enough Dutch courage inside her before we met.  As the 
			night went on she told me her address.  Not living in the area I 
			searched the www for a map to direct me.  I could not find it 
			anywhere.  I texted her mobile to ask if the address was correct - I 
			got no reply.  As the shift went on I was getting more and more 
			uptight as to whether we were going to meet or not, I tried to 
			contact her again just before the end of the shift to just make sure 
			it was still ok to meet, even though it would have been after 
			midnight - her mobile clicked straight to her answer phone.  I left 
			a message but thought if I hear nothing I'll go home.  I heard 
			nothing, went home stood up and very disappointed.  I asked my 
			"date's" friend when I got to work the next day if she had heard 
			anything.  It turns out that my date had had a little too much Dutch 
			courage, somehow dropped her mobile down the toilet and is gutted as 
			she still really wants to meet up with me.  I don't know but if we 
			never meet It'll be an excuse I'll have use myself!!!
 
-  Why lie when breaking a date?  Just say you don't want 
			to go out with them!  It's that easy!
 
- Him:  Wanna go to the dance with me?  Me:  Uh . . . I 
			can't.  Him:  Why not?  Me:  I've got something else to do.  Him: 
			Whaddaya mean?  Helpful Friend:  She has a boyfriend! Him:  So?  Me: 
			Yeah . . . I have a boyfriend . . . he's very violent . . . you know 
			how those never-sober 28-year-olds get . . . Him:  Oh.  Me:  It's 
			not you . . . Him:  Is it my ears?  Me: Yeah, your ears.
 
- I'm sorry but I was in with my vibrator.  And it gave me 
			more pleasure then you ever will. :)
 
-  Him:  "Wanna go out?"  Her: "Sure, Is never a good time 
			for you?  Never works for me!"  I also broke up with my ex-boyfriend 
			from a friends house over the phone..."we are just two very 
			different people" and with another one when he called me from across 
			the country to say hi - a little mean, sure, but they deserved it 
			;-)  Also:  him - "wanna go out?" her - "wait! my toys! my toys!  I 
			can't go without my toys!"  (runs around frantically like a mad 
			woman) and another:  Him - "wanna go out?"  Her - "I'm sorry, but as 
			Satan's advocate, I'm not allowed to date mortal males"  Ohhh so 
			many more great ones I've collected in my history...but I don't want 
			to wear y'all out! 
 
- I was seeing this guy for a few months and one day he 
			told me he didn't want to see me anymore.  When I asked him why he 
			said,  "You just don't wear enough make-up.  You need to wear a lot 
			of make-up 24 hours a day and you just don't do that."  Very 
			creative.
 
- I cannot go out with you, because lately I feel like I 
			can do a lot better, sorry.
 
- Girls, here's a good one if you just want to get away 
			from a guy.  Carry a beeper, or a toy that looks real.  In the 
			middle of him asking you out or to dance, jump and take a look at 
			your beeper, then say excitedly, "Gotta go, daddy just broke out of 
			jail again."  Leave immediately.
 
- After turning a guy down for a date about half a dozen 
			times, he called again.  I decided that I needed to get creative 
			quick, so told him that I lost my hamster and I had to find it 
			before my parents realized it got out of its cage or they'd kill me 
			because they didn't want me to get the 'rodent' in the first place.  
			After a little bit of hesitation, he said, 'but, you don't have a 
			hamster.'  I said 'exactly!' and hung up the phone.
 
-  Not really a excuse, but a friend was set up on a blind 
			date once; which was miserable.  She excused herself to the restroom 
			about half an hour into the date (realizing the bar didn't have 
			nearly enough beer to make the guy interesting.)  and snuck out the 
			window of the bathroom, ran to the car and came home.  She never 
			heard from the guy again.
 
- My brothers fraternity roommate actually did this on the 
			phone to his girlfriend that he was trying to break up with but 
			wouldn't get the message:  Hey Angela, I think we should break up 
			because I woke up with the weirdest smell in my nose this morning 
			and I couldn't get the smell out of my mind, it was so awful, but I 
			finally realized what it was, it was the smell of your cuchi.  She 
			cursed him out saying that was the most screwed up thing she has 
			ever heard in her life.  He became my hero.
 
- I'm sorry, I want to go out with you tonight but I 
			haven't done the laundry in two weeks and I don't have anything to 
			wear - I mean NOTHING!
 
- I'm sorry. . . I fell into the toilet when I was putting 
			on my shoes, got flushed into the sewer, battled the sewer king to 
			get back my lost high heels.  And when every thing was said an done 
			I found out that I'd missed our date completely.  I guess it just 
			wasn't met to be!
 
-  BABY BABY I know it was our 1st date last night, it's 
			that my car was stolen that's why I couldn't make it in time.  I had 
			to chase after those thief's with a moped and why would I lie. You 
			know what, hold on I'll be right there and I'll prove it to you!
 
- If you want to leave a date early:  "Sorry, I have to go 
			home now and have an orange, as I have scurvy."
 
-  Well it's not as creative as some of you guys' ones but 
			I met a guy on the net.  Oh, he was really cute alright, 
			intelligent, educated and seemed quite nice and we had a few things 
			in common.  But on date two we planned to see a particular movie 
			together and when we found out it wasn't on he wanted to see a 
			really gruesome sounding movie that I WASN'T too keen on and was 
			BEGGING me!  I said I had to go to the ladies and chatted to some 
			girls in there who said yes the movie was truly stomach-turning, not 
			really what I felt like.  So I said to him I'd had a call from my 
			parents, something had come up at home and I had to go home.  He 
			seemed a WEEE bit snotty and said he would see the movie ANYWAY.  I 
			never kept in touch after that.  But karma got me a little bit!  The 
			other night I was telling my boyfriend about this and I happened to 
			mention the name of the movies and then said "oops!" and he laughed 
			and said, "I'll say!  Oops alright!  That was only a few months ago, 
			we were still together then! (and still are!)"  I told him I didn't 
			know where our relationship was going at the time and mainly sought 
			friendship but still -- caught out!! 
 
 Slightly related, an earlier boyfriend of mine was being an outrageous flirt and I said - obviously looking a wee bit upset - "I'm just going off for a walk." They said, "Why are you going for a walk? At night?" "I need air." I said and then remembered we were already outside!!!! I've also had some blind dates when I've wanted to pretend I was not the person they were meant to meet!!!!
 
- My plunger is stuck in the toilet and that's why I can't 
			go out with you tonight.
 
- I really used this one this girl wouldn't leave me alone 
			and at first I didn't say anything.  Well one day I got pissed and 
			told her, "I'm sorry (girls name) there not enough beer in the 
			world."
 
-  A female friend and I went on a few dates.  She was very 
			beautiful and Catholic.  After the few dates, she told me we could 
			no longer date because she had spoken to God and I was not in His 
			plans for her.  The worst part: a friend of mine dated her a few 
			months later, and she used the same excuse.
 
- I met a guy at a bar several years ago, I had too much 
			to drink gave him my phone number.  (Of course I recalled he was 
			cute, tall and fun).  We made a date when he arrived at my apt He 
			was short, ugly and not at all what I remembered (too much 
			alcohol).  I excused myself to go to the ladies room.  I yell to him 
			to please call my roommate that my IUD had just fallen out and could 
			he please leave and I would call him later.  A few hours later my 
			roommate and I were out dancing and you guest it he was too.  
			Needless to say my IUD was fine. 
 
-  I'm really really sorry to break our date tonight, but 
			my parole officer says that after stalking & attempting to kill my 
			ex husband, I'm just not ready to be dating guys again.  But please 
			give me your phone number, address, work number & work address, and 
			a list of every place that you will ever be visiting and I just KNOW 
			that we will run into each other again.
 
-  I'm sorry but I wont be able to make it tonight.  I 
			suddenly regained my vision while I was looking at a picture of you.
 
- If someone asks you for your phone number & you don't 
			want to give it just tell them ~ I'm sorry but I don't have a phone. 
			~ they will either believe it or get the picture & back off.
 
-  I'm sorry but I can't be w/ you tonight.  I have to find 
			a good place to hide my ex-boyfriends body.  Do you have any ideas?
 
- I cant make it to our date tonight.  I'm on some weird 
			medication that makes me do strange things & I was very hungry so I 
			ate the phone.  Now I'm hearing peoples conversations but sometimes 
			I just get a busy signal!
 
- This blind date was too old, ex-druggie, just divorced, 
			ugly, boring, and smelly.  What did I tell him as the reason no 
			second date?  I'm allergic to smoking.  He said he isn't comfortable 
			continuing the conversation, so I said, ok, and hung up. :)
 
-  Well, my dad's friend Andy lost his eye in a firecracker 
			accident.  So, he had a pretty convincing glass eye. I remember when 
			my dad told me that Andy had a glass eye, I was pretty surprised, as 
			I had never noticed.  Anyway, after Andy got divorced from his 
			ex-wife, Trudy he started dating again.  So he's out one night, on a 
			first date with a woman he'd only 
 met on one occasion before. Anyway, they'd each found each other physically attractive, but had never had any real conversation. So they get to the restaurant, and it's a rather swanky place - Andy's out to make a good first impression. Unfortunately, she was not. She was rude, making a point to correct him, yawn, give him one word answers, roll her eyes and complain. She even belittled him in front of the waiter, who couldn't help but chuckle at Andy's expense. Andy is so disgusted by her obnoxious behavior that he decides to have a little fun with her. So, after the food is brought to the table and they begin eating, the woman excuses herself to the ladies' room. Not one to miss an opportunity, Andy pops out his glass eye and nestles it in his date's mashed potatoes. So, she returns to the table, sees an eye staring at her from her mashed potatoes, screams, knocks over her salad plate and her drink, and runs out of the restaurant like a bat out of hell! I sure hope she rethinks her behavior on her next date!
 
- I had gone out with this guy a few times and I didn't 
			think we were really "clicking".  He, however, thought I was THE 
			ONE.  I tried all the old faithful excuses; gotta wash my hair, it's 
			my friends birthday, I'm working that night, he just wasn't getting 
			the picture.  One day he called and my sister answered the phone.  
			When she told me who it was I groaned, "I don't want to talk to 
			him!" Sis: "What should I tell him then?"  Me: "Tell him I'm dead".  
			She did and I never heard from him again. 
 
- My boyfriends excuse for breaking up with me was:  I 
			don't think you should be changing for me, not that you have 
			changed, I just don't like you for you anymore.  I was pissed.
 
- Breaking up - I don't think we should see each other any 
			more.  Why?  I'm leaving the country.  Yeah, it would have worked if 
			I didn't see him every weekend and kinda notice he was still here 
			(six months later!!). 
 
- I used this (over the phone... ack) to break up with my 
			ever-lovin' ex...  Me:  I don't think we should see each other 
			anymore.   Him:  *long pause* Why not?  Me:  Well, I don't have 
			enough time to devote to this relationship and it wouldn't be fair 
			_and_ my feelings have changed.   Him:  If that's what makes you 
			happy.   Me:  Er, I didn't say that.  *long pause* I'd better go.  
			*long pause* Bye.  *long pause, during which I get thoroughly bored 
			and hang up*   Now, the truly sad part of this story is that I saw 
			him several months later.  One of the first things out of his mouth 
			was, "Gaaawd, I look like sh*t, I've been so sick."  To which I 
			politely say,  "Oh. I'm sorry."  Followed by me saying that I made 
			the varsity boat "and all that _time_ really paid off."  Oooh, I'm 
			evil...
 
- A girl used this excuse on my friend, "I'm sorry I cant 
			go out with you tonight I have to clean my shower."
 
- I won't be able to keep my date with you tonight 
			because, my wife is coming over.
 
-  I'm sorry, but I can't see you tonight.  I was just 
			flirting with you to get this other guy's attention and it worked so 
			I'm going out with him tonight.
 
- I am sorry I can't come out tonight, I have to rearrange 
			my sock drawer.
 
- For breaking up for girls...  I really don't want us to 
			break up, but I can tell by that look in your eye, you think it's 
			the right thing to do. 
 
- I noticed you eyeing up that bloke yesterday, I think 
			it's time you learned to bat for the other team.
 
- This ones for breaking up with someone, and not having 
			to take any of the blame!  What?  You want to break up?  No, don't 
			say a word, I understand.  If you want us to break up, I'm fine with 
			it.  That's a yes, look it's been really great, see you around.  Oh, 
			and I'm so glad you had the courage to do this.
 
-  I really would love to come out tonight, but there's a 
			really special edition of ground force, I really mustn't miss, if I 
			plan on planting my Geraniums this month.  Then tomorrow I have a 
			date with Alan Titchmarsh, so really I can't see when I'll have the 
			time!
 
- I'm sorry I can't go out with you, I promised to take my 
			grandmother to Hockey Practice. 
 
- I want my first date to be with a special guy.
 
-  I just got my hair done, it might get ruined.
 
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