all have been one sometime in our life or have them
and kids make up the craziest excuses ever. So it's time we have a page
dedicated to all the kids out there. Kids say the
1. My 2 1/2 year old daughter says that she cant pee in the
potty because she is too busy!!
2. Mom I'm sorry but I did it on accident!
3. Kids say that they just can't wait for something because
it's not their style.
4. Whenever you tell a big fat lie to get away with breaking
an ornament, vase etc. Tell your mum, dad etc. that it threw itself
off of the mantle piece, table etc and then add in that you always
believed that there was something out there!
5. But all my friends don't have a bed time!
6. Mom: Where's your report card? You: Um, mommy I'm
really sorry and everything. But I didn't do it or anything but you
know how I walk to school? Well, the bell rang and I went to my
locker to put it in my backpack and some very mean kids took it and
started playing monkey in the middle then someone yelled that there
was a big fight so the kids dropped it and ran outside. Then, I was
walking home & was looking at it and a dog chased me and got it and
chewed it up! Sorry!
7. I have legal custody of my little brother and sister ever
since both my mom and dad died in a car crash (I am 19). One day
several minutes after stopping a fight I heard screaming coming from
their room, my dear little brother with tears in his eyes informed
me that, "She hit me back!"
8. But Mom that's just not fair!
9. I do what cheerios tell me!
10. I didn't do it!
11. It wasn't me!
12. It was my brother who did it!
13. "I didn't mow the lawn cause I had to go eat with some
14. Mom, you know you love me! You can't possibly be mad at
15. Mom: Why didn't you clean the litter box? You: Um... I
fell asleep... and I just woke-up!
16. Well my brother, he is (13), was stealing smokes from my
step-dad and he took them down to the skatepark and smoked em bla
bla and my mum found out he had been stealing smokes so his excuse
was.... the older kids threatened me to get the smokes for them or
they will beat me up...... he totally gets away with everything.
17. Pretty pretty please mum, I really really want it please!
18. Mom: Where have you been? I've been looking all over
for you. You: Our teacher said for homework to play ball at the
park and uhhhh.... understand.. gravity. yeah that's it!
19. Someone threatened to threaten me!
20. "What do you mean my room is a mess, (look horrified)
this is a work of art!"
21. Mom: How did this vase get broken!? You: It came down!
22. My four-year-old niece and her mom were visiting for
Christmas Eve. My niece said to her mom, "We can't go now. Santa
isn't here and I haven't gotten toys."
23. You can't be mad at me. You gotta love me. I'm the
24. Parent: Will you clean your room
already? Child: I would... but I just don't want to.
25. If you hit your brother and he hits
you back you run and tell your mom or dad before he does.
26. My granddaughter and I (she just turn
2) were watching Elmo's world, when she said to me, "Nana go get
dolly in my bedroom." I said to her, "You go get dolly" her
answer was, "Nanaaa I'm too busy"
27. Mom, I can't go to bed because I'm too
wired to go.
28. First annoy your brother/sister and
they will hit you and get told of. Hit them back and run inside the
bathroom and lock the door. Then hey will start banging on the door
and get told of for that.
29. I did not do it it was my sister!
30. Whenever I would get in trouble when I
was a kid my I would look at my mom and say, "you're right, I'm
wrong, sorry." It worked every time.
31. Mom: it looks like a tornado came in
here! Child: I know I'm practicing tornado drills.
32. My 9 1/2 year old daughter: But mom I
can't play soccer today because arm hurts. (she's a forward not a
33. When I was little, I cut up my sheets,
my excuse was, "Jesus did it!"
34. CHILD: I didn't Do It I swear!
MOTHER: Then why were you standing next to it..? CHILD: Uhh First
a ghost knocked it over then uhhh he picked me up and put me over
here! MOTHER: OH who did it? CHILD: I told you Frankenstein!
35. The clowns made me do it! I sware!
36. 1 of my kids actually asked me this:
Kid: Mom would you punish me for something I didn't do? Mom: No
Kid: That's good I didn't clean my room like you told me to!
37. The lawn was too wet to mow it.
38. I used this excuse a lot as a kid. I
didn't because I was dead at the time.
39. Excuse for breaking vase ,china cup
etc. I was trying to use my ESP to lift up the book but my sister
jogged me and made me lift up the (whatever you broke) and then it
40. Mum/Dad: Why did the vase smash? You:
Because it was brittle.
41. Fire fighter: Ok, I think we got
everyone out! Little Girl: Help! Help! Firefighter: Hey! Kid!
While I instructed you on your way out of the fire, why the heck
didn't you grab your sister? Little Boy: Because I was to busy
trying to get my computer!
42. Don't look at me! I didn't knock over
the expensive vase that you told me not to go near to and bury all
of the pieces I could find in the sand box.
43. BEFORE PARENTS LEFT Parent: Are you
sure you can stay here alone? Child: Of course I can. WHEN
PARENTS CAME BACK Parent: What happened to the kitchen... and the
bathroom... and... and everything? Child: I remodeled the house so
it would look like a tornado came threw here so I wouldn't get
punished for making a mess in my room.
44. It wasn't my fault, it was the
alligator! He chased me into it, I swear!
45. I didn't do it on my own free will, my
brother hypnotized me to do it!
46. Mum: Where is your puppy? Kid:
Ummm... I kinda left the gate open and she went outside and now she
is in the street. I think you call it road kill! :(
47. Child: Mom I did not break the vase
(what ever you broke). Mom: Then who broke it ? Child: It was my
the evil side of me!
48. Mom: Why didn't you clean the
bathroom? You: Mom I didn't clean the bathroom because dad got
their before me, and he left his mark.
49. But, mom if I clean up my room that
means that I have to do work and you and I both know kids don't
50. My sister really did this... Mom:
Did you draw on these walls Rei? Rei: Um, nope my friend Elsie
did. Mom: You don't have a friend named Elsie. Rei: She's
standing right here. She's 'invisible' so you can't see her!....
51. It was the aliens I tell ya! It's the
aliens! I was sitting and they came and put me in their spaceship
and flew off came back blew up the cat threw me down.
52. I said I would take a shower mom, but
you said I could take one next year. REMEMBER!
53. My wife told her 8 year old daughter
to go check the mail, daughter said "I can't, my feet are too
54. Mom /Dad. Why did you go potty on the
floor MeMe (MeMe is 3) MeMe. I did I was on the big girl toilet and
Rosie couldn't hold it. Mom: Who's Rosie 10 year old sister walks
in and says : Rosie's her imaginary friend I made up for her.
55. Mother: Son could I talk to you for a
second? Son: It wasn't me, I didn't draw all over the walls.
56. I didn't make the cat run away.
Little green aliens abducted her.
57. It wasn't me! The dog ate your
Birthday cake! (You have crumbs and icing all over your face)
58. MOM: Why didn't you make your bed?
SON: Well I figured I didn't have to because I will just sleep in it
tonite and make another mess of it!
59. My sister never shuts doors behind her
and it really aggravates my mum so the other day my mum goes why
don't you shut doors were you born in a barn? And my sister goes no
I was born in a hospital with swing doors!!!
60. Parent: Billy why did you hit your
brother? Billy: She tried to kill me with her teeth so I punched
him in the eye.
61. You know dad, I was going to work at
that new fast food joint down the hill this summer, but it never got
built so I can't work there anymore.
62. Mom: How did this glass get broken?
You: It fell down. Mom: I'm sure it didn't get up and jump off the
table! You: I don't know, I wasn't watching it.
63. Mom: Where have you been? Child:
um..um.. um.. look Brad Pitt. Then run and hide.
64. One day my uncle spilt some juice on
the floor, while looking for a cloth to clean it up his daughter
called out and blamed the mess on her brother... an obvious lie,
but my uncle played along anyway and when he was questioned he
automatically blamed it on his sister... "It was Emma I saw her do
it"... ha ha. Neither one was guilty of making the mess but was
punished all the same for lying.
65. Mom: Time to do your chores. Kid:
(Starts to get up but limps a little) Mom my ankle hurts, can I do
my chores when it feels better and can I have an ice pack or
something. (This excuse works 4 me SOMETIMES)
66. Tony Fluker's odd shaped head
67. This is what my little brother (8
years old) told me when he broke my Favorite lamp, "Well first I
heard a *HSSSS*, then a *THUMP*, and then a big scary *KABOOM!!!*.
So I came to your room and it was already broken!"
68. I'm not farting I'm just burping out
69. You: Mommy I didn't clean my room
because I was sleeping. Mom: What were you dreaming about? You:
You cleaning my room for me. :)
70. Mom, you know I'm crazy right?
71. Mom: Where have you been all this
time? Child: Well, I was walking down the street, when Leonardo
Dicaprio stops me and starts talking to me, then he and Britney
spears and Justin Timberlake took me out to eat at burger king.
72. This is for kids excuses~ "I swear it
wasn't my fault! The devil made me do it!"
73. Mum: Why didn't you clean your room?
I've been telling you to for weeks. Kid: I was just too busy. Mum:
Doing what??! Kid: Getting a shower, making my bed, rubbing your
feet, eating my veggies, going to bed, leaving the toilet seat up
for you, and loving you :) ( then give her a kiss) (trust me it
74. "It Wasn't Me, the evil monkeys who
flies down to Earth every night at 7:16 made me do it but I was too
quick and nimble, all that I had to do was..." After you recite
that, you slowly walk to your room and claim that you don't know the
person that you were talking to.
75. Bob did it I know that you found the
broken vase with grandma's ashes. But she was trying to get out,
she didn't like it in there.
76. But the leprechauns shoved me in a
corner and forced me to!
77. But Mom it was like that when I got
here I swear!
78. I should not get in trouble for
something I did not do.
79. My dad use to work late and we always
saved him dinner for when he got home, my brother use to eat it as a
snack before my dad got to it. BROTHER: I didn't eat it, the dog
did. DAD: The dog opened the fridge and took out a covered dish,
uncovered it and ate it? Then put the dirty dish in the sink?
BROTHER: Yup, told ya she was smart!
80. I didn't do it!
81. My Mom Said that I shouldn't because
you keep the Trapeze set to high.
82. I didn't do it and if you don't
believe me I'll break my arm and call C.P.S. on you!
83. Mom: (angry) Why didn't you clean your
room? Kid: The voices in my head told me not to. Mom:
(unconvinced) Who are these voices? Kid: (with a serious face) Kids
who say it's against the child labor laws to do anything that even
*looks* like work.
84. Yup I actually SAY these things almost
Why should I clean my room? If it's tidy, I don't have the feeling
that there's someone living in here!
My room is an organized mess. I know exactly on which part of the
floor is something I'm looking for.
*crack (I just stepped on something)* And this IS NOT a part of my
room! It's evil and it's trying to get me into trouble, it jumped
underneath my foot I'm telling you!
No, I won't clean my room! This is my way of expression and you
wouldn't want to stop the child from expressing herself, right?
Why should I make my bed? I only sleep in it so I don't see whether
it's tidy or messy, so it doesn't matter!
I didn't clean my room cause I had smarter things to do. Like
what? Messing it up.
You're exiting a room and you close the door a bit too loud (in
fact, so loud that the entire house echoes and shakes) and you yell:
85. I once went out with my friends, we
were supposed to go shopping and see a movie and everything, but
there was a *slight* detour and we ended up on the beach for a swim.
I came back home with my hair all wet and my mum screams: "Where
have you been and why are you all wet?!" And I say "there was a
sudden shower!" and on TV the weather guy's saying how there's still
no rain to be seen for at least a week. :) I believe there's no
point in telling you this one didn't work.
86. You're all grumpy and sad and you keep
screaming at everyone and your mum yells "stop yelling at people,
why are you so nervous?" and you say PMS (if you're a girl) or teen
depression (if you're a teen).
87. Ok, this is my all-time best (or
worst!) excuse from my childhood. Back in my younger years, there
was a "bad phase" I went through where I just loved to play with
matches - and gasoline. One time a friend of mine was over after
school - my parents weren't home. We took some tennis balls, cut
them open, poured gasoline into them "lit" them on fire, and
proceeded to kick them around in the street. It was quite fun from
what I recall (I do NOT advocate doing this though!!! Looking back
on it this was QUITE stupid...) until my mother came home. Despite
the "lines of fire" all over the place from the gasoline leaking out
of the flaming tennis balls, I think she topped it with her own fire
as I had never in my entire childhood life seen her as furious as I
did that moment of that day - and all I could say to her was, "Well
- um - you see - um - we accidentally knocked over the gas can onto
the tennis balls - and then they accidentally got lit on fire and we
were only kicking them around to try to put the fire out -
honest!". Nope. She didn't buy it. I was in DEEP trouble!!!
88. When my 6 year old son was the ONLY
first grade child returning from his class trip to the Natural
Science Museum with wet clothing and hair in the process of drying
he told me that it was REAL hot in the museum and it made him sweat
all day. Questioned further, he said that he and 4 others had gone
outside (with their chaperone) for lunch and he got splashed. When
I asked him HOW he was splashed and with WHAT, he claimed that one
of the other boys put his foot in a puddle and kicked a little water
on him and when he tried to do it back, he slipped and fell in the
puddle (it hadn't rained in over a week). Turns out that the
"puddle" was actually a large city fountain!!
89. Mom: I thought I told you to pick up
your room. Kid: It's to heavy!
90. I always ask my mother things while
she's half sleeping, then she doesn't know what she's saying yes
to. When I tell her I am going out and she says no, I just tell her
"But mom, you promised last night, remember?"
91. He started it!
92. Mom: Why didn't you get your stuff
done like I asked you to? Me: I'm sorry mom, I forgot!
(surprisingly this works a lot of the times)
93. One year after my little brothers
birthday party he put all his presents in a plastic bag I thought it
was rubbish and chucked them all away he got them back but they
smelt of rotten cheese! lol!
94. I can't clean my room because I'm on
steroid rage right now.
95. My niece once told her mom (my sister)
"I can't do it, I'm too full of baloney!"
96. When my son was between the ages of
2-4 anytime he broke anything or made a mess if he was asked who did
it the excuse was always "It wasn't me, my people did it"
97. When you've done something bad, just
say to your mom or dad, " I know I'm pathetic and useless I cant
help it I'm sorry!" Then they will feel sorry for you it works
98. My little sister (she's 11), when
she's in trouble, says to our mum/dad or to me: "So what's your
99. Mom: Clean your room! Kid: I can't
find it through all the mess!
100. Mom: I thought I told you to take the
dog for a walk? Kid: I know but I have legs and walk on my own just
fine, can't the dog?
101. Okay this works for me a lot when I
come home late my mom ask me where I been for 2 hr. and I say that I
was in a club meeting at school and she buys it. (it's still
102. Whenever you get in trouble go to
where a picture of a younger you is and say "But look at that face
in the picture! "Trust me it works.
103. When your mum tells you to do
something and you forgot to do it say "I didn't hear you" always
104. Mom: Why didn't you eat the yogurt I
packed you for lunch? Daughter: I telled you THREE (at this point,
she stomps her foot and holds up 4 fingers) times that yomgur makes
my feet slow.
105. Mom I learn from my mistakes and u
know the saying u don't know what not to do until u do it well I
think I have learned not to do it...I sorry!
106. The devil made me do it!
107. I don't know.
108. Well I was thinking about it until
Marley came over. She thought it was stupid to do chores.
109. Mum: Why didn't you clean your room?
Kid: Well, cleaning is work right? And according to the law, I can't
work till I'm 14.
110. I am 11 and I have a weird habit of
writing or carving messages onto things (anything!). but because I
don't want to get in trouble I always put an A or write Adam because
that's my brothers name which means he always gets the blame.
111. The platypus that's hiding under my
bed told me to!!!!!!!!!!
112. Just tell the truth, then you can go
to heaven and meet lots of angels.
113. I'm sorry mom but they had people
serving free samples in the food court.
114. If your parents tell you to mow the lawn, run over a big
rock so it bends the blade. Then, the mower will have to get fixed
and they wont want you to mow the lawn anymore..... it worked for
me, and I didn't even do it on purpose.
115. WELL, you see mama.....I meant to clean my room and
everything but uh.... my teacher gave me so much homework and then I
got distracted by the tv, and then I got hungry and made a sandwich
and by then I just was too tired so here I am sleeping when you so
rudely woke me up from my nap! (upset expression) so technically you
can't blame me soooooo....you're forgiven. :)
116. When I want to get away from the table I tell my momma I
gotta go see u and run from the table real fast.
117. Heres one when I was ten I fell in my local stream
(where I had been forbidden to go) I then racked my brain all the
way home and I came u with this: I didnt do it mum a stray dog
chased me and pushed me it. It didn't work.
118. Dad: How come you didn't make your bed!!!????!! Kid:
don't make my bed! I sleep in it!
119. I Love your site!!!! My daughters & step daughters are
fulll of excuses... I have been writting some of them down for this
same occasion,,,lol,,, But as I was looking on the Kids excuse I
noticed the mother of all excuses Kids use was omitted,,,
"I FORGOT" Here's one from a teen... She's late coming home from a
date on a Sunday Night,,, Her excuse " We got behind a logging truck
daddy" OK,, they aren't allowed to run logging trucks on Sunday in
our town,,,lol,,, BUSTED. And from older in debt youth... "I'll pay
it with my irs refund" then the next one is "Oh, well, the irs kept
my money" But yet they just picked up a new LCD TV,,, What do ya
120. I did'nt brush my teeth beecause I wanted to save water.
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