The Mother Of All Excuses Place

Not Paying The Rent Excuses

1. Sorry, just spent my honeymoon in Las Vegas. So, no rent available.


2. I'm sorry, rent will be late this month because our illegal roommate skipped out on us, we plan to pay next week when we get paid, thank you. (an actual excuse used at my apartment complex) P.S. this was actually true.


3. I know I didn't pay for the last 4 months. I'll pay next month, can you let me back in now?


4. Sorry my rent is late but my damn crack habit keeps getting in the way!


5. I know rent is due on the 1st, but I already spent the money from my last check. I'll pay it when I get my next check.


6. [A colleague working landlord-tenant court heard this one]: The landlord is a Muslim and I think that my rent money should go directly to help the victims of the Muslim terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.


7. Sorry, I can't pay the rent this month. I get paid bi-weekly and my check is mailed from Washington. Currently they are having an Anthrax problem and all mail will be held-up indefinitely!!!!


8. I can't pay the rent because I needed to buy food this month.


9. I have to spend it on my dying grandmother.... coz my mum and dad are dead long time ago and I'm the only daughter... and also the last time I paid the rent... my grandfather died!!!!!!! So... please I'll pay the rent when my grandmother dies....!!!!


10. I left the money for rent and the money for groceries in two different envelopes my boyfriend must of took the wrong one so this will have to do for now.


11. These are REAL excuses I have heard from my tenants through the years... (when the rent check bounced) "My bank closed my account and didn't tell me" (I've actually heard this one a half dozen times--there's apparently and excuse of the month club tenants can subscribe to) "I don't have the money for the rent, because I spent it all on Christmas presents for the kids. You don't expect me to tell my kids they don't get Christmas presents, do you?" (no, but you're going to have to tell them why they don't have a place to live) "I'm not paying my rent this month, because the bathtub overflowed and it ruined my brand new (fill in the blank) big screen TV/oriental rug/stereo system/water bed" (Vena's 3rd rule of land lording: any leak from any source will invariably carry directly over the most expensive and newest item in the unit) "I'm not paying this month because I'm moving out next month. You just keep my security deposit for this month's rent. I'll be out on the 1st...I promise."


12. I haven't paid my rent because I don't have any money!


13. I haven't paid my rent because I ran out of stamps to mail it.


14. I haven't paid my rent because actually I don't feel like paying it.


15. I haven't paid my rent because I was hardly home this past month and probably won't be home much this month.


16. This one was given to me just last week. "The reason I didn't pay the rent before the end of my 72 hour termination notice was because I was IN JAIL." However the wife was home the whole time hubby was in jail, and looking at me through the peep hole while I posted the 72 hour termination notice.


17. I didn't pay my rent because a five of the fifteen hallway lights were blown out.


18. I didn't pay my rent because the knob on a closet door is inoperable.


19. Sorry I can't pay my rent my car was repo'd and My paycheck was in it.


20. (Actual excuse for not paying rent) My boyfriend's parents are giving us a house to live in free, so I gotta move out. So I'm not paying this months rent, but I'll do you a favor and let you use my full security deposit for the entire month, even though we'll be leaving in two weeks. Oh, by the way... there's a problem with the kitchen stove. It's not been working right for a real long time. And last night there was this little fire.


21. I am a sick person, I need money for prescriptions this month I gonna be late on my rent.


22. This is a rent excuse that my old roommate actually used - she had gotten pregnant and was going to move out with her sperm donor - she tried to go to the rental office with HALF the amount of the rent (little did she know we had predicted her plot and had paid rent in full already) and told the office that she could not live there because we were running a methamphetamine lab in the bathroom. WHAT???


23. Just been told this: My husband just got a new job and will be out of town for three weeks. I know what the contact says. Please don't evict us. Mother of four children.


24. The weather's been bad so work has been slow. Check is in the mail.


25. My wife is in the hospital, heart problems, almost had a heart attack (conversation with wife a week later she states, She almost had a heart attack due to the stress she's under because they can't pay rent.


26. We're waiting to get the settlement from the lawyer... we told him that we just want 5 million but he wants to drag it out and try for 10. We'll call you after we meet with him.


27. My sister past away this weekend... can I call you back?


28. My Story Why I Couldn't Pay the Rent. Well see, it's my brother. He played creative bookkeeping with his accounts which I am a co-signer on. He was transferring funds from his payroll account to his ranch accounts, and so on.... things he shouldn't have been doing. The bank caught on to him, shut down all of his accounts and demanded my brother to make good on all outstanding checks (and there were plenty) or the bank would have no other choice then to report this to their credit/financial institutions and I'd be lucky to get credit anywhere. My brother and I would both be screwed. I emptied my savings, checking and gave him all I had. I have to wait until I get paid on the 15th before I can pay you.


29. Our Roommates paid half the first month then said the following month "Oh, we thought you were taking care of this months and we would pay half of the next months." Needless to say their not on the lease so we're kicking them out.


30. I can't pay you in regular money but I was wondering if I could do so with MONOPOLY MONEY.


31. I got a phone call from my dead mother telling me after thinking it over she decided she never intended me to get the apartment so there will be no rent until I get another call from her telling me it's ok.


32. I can't pass up a challenge and it's a real challenge to see for how long the rent balance can go up before I get the notices and then to see how many notices can I defer with a variety of excuses and orders.


33. My astrologer told me that due to Mercury going retrograde today, it was not advisable to send in the rent and even though it is supposed to go direct next month, Venus and Mars will be going retrograde and the Venus retrograde will cause my roommate and lover to walk out leaving me stuck with his portion and then the Mars retrograde will probably cause a major blow up at work, causing job loss and thus no rent for the next few months.


34. I can't pay my rent this month, because you haven't fixed anything in the apartment that you promised me in my lease since I moved in. I'll be moving soon so keep my deposit.


35. Dear sir, I cannot pay my rent this month because my check was a little short this week. I will pay next week.


36. I can't pay the rent on time this month because I was laid-off and my total monthly income from unemployment is just enough to pay the rent with just enough left over to pay something on another bill and buy a little food. But, since a $100 late charge and a $38 court filing fee were added to last month's rent and all was paid, it's backed me up a couple of weeks. It's really hard to live on $15 a month.


37. I am late on my rent because my supervisor failed to put in my timecard. Therefore I didn't get a check on the 1st like expected, but being that I will receive 2 checks on the 15 because of the supervisors screw up, I will pay you then... That's because I wanted to party with the check I got on the 1st.


38. My cousin [is in jail/is getting married/just died/is in the hospital] and I had to help him out this month. I'll have the rest of the rent in two weeks. Note: I live in Texas where Mexicans have at least one cousin for every month. And they're always dying, getting arrested, etc. I get this excuse at least 5 times a month from tenants.


39. Rent was 2 weeks late this month because the lawnmower was broken and we had to get it fixed because we know you hate it when the lawn gets too long. Paying to fix the lawnmower was an unexpected expense so we had to wait for another paycheck before we could pay the rent.


40. I can't send a payment in today or anytime soon because I have more important bills to pay.


41. Here are a couple of recent excuses from my tenants:


1. (I got the rent check and it had a "stop payment" on it when I went to cash it) My ex-husband wiped out all of my accounts and my attorney (where she works) stopped payment on all of my checks.
2. This just happened this week) I had to spend all my money to put my niece in rehab... she's strung out on ice and shooting up, blah blah blah... and by the end of the conversation: I have the money but its Labor Day and the bank is closed so I'll have it to you tomorrow.
3. (Tomorrow came and went, so now I get: I can't get you the rent because the IRS put a freeze on all my bank accounts. (Can anyone top 3 different excuses in less than one week???)
42. I called the landlord and said "Can you send me a receipt for the rent I mailed to you last week?" She said she never received it. Of course I was shocked to hear that my money order apparently got lost in the mail! After calling the post office and "speaking to an investigator" I called the Money order company and requested a trace. Supposedly this all took 3 weeks. Enough time for me to get the "new" money order out to her.


43. I can't pay rent (or any other bill) this month because my ex quit paying child support. I'll pay you after I take him to court and money.


44. True story (with rent being 700.00 per month) I'm sorry but I can only give you 1/3 of the rent this month or any other month because of the unwelcome guest that we have that has decided to pull the money off of the dresser and take into the walls (WILLARD). So that is the only way that you can retrieve the rest of the rent.


45. The landlord came over for the rent, and I told the landlord to hold on for a minute. So I turned the lights out so they could bring their part of the rent out. Well Mr. Landlord, I have my half of the rent do you have yours? You never told me that I would be having breakfast, lunch and dinner guest. I need reimbursement for other occupants that likes to come out and play in the wee hours of the night. So even though they are out rummaging that time of night. And now that I think about it I don't think that I need to pay all of the rent because they be here more than I do.


46. I'm sorry I can't pay the rent this month because the IRS has seized all my assets.


47. One of my tenants called me on the phone crying, saying that she would be late on her rent because she had to take her sick dog to the vet and the X-ray showed that he ate a large piece of carpet in the living room (I'm thinking.. Oh Nooooo) She said "so far the bill is up over $800 and I already paid them the $600 that I had set aside for rent this month, but I will have it for you in a week .. my mom is sending me money." "I said ok well when you do please include the nonrefundable pet deposit that I TOLD you would be owed IF you had a dog in my rent house, also I need to come by and estimate the damage the dog did to the carpet in the living room." (No pets allowed in my rental property and she knew this) She began crying harder and hung up...


48. This is true! Happened years back. I had taught my daughter that money is dirty and you shouldn't play with it. She was only two and naturally where do dirty things go? "I can't pay my rent because my toddler just flushed the rent down the toilet."


49. I am so sorry that I am late paying my rent this month. I fell in the shower, hit my head and subsequently forgot what month it was. Do you need a doctor's note??


50. I don't know why you expect full months rent when since the very beginning I never paid it full and you never fixed the shower, but I can live with that if you can live with only getting $300 this time and I promise next pay check you'll get some more. I don't think you have the balls to kick me out anyway, I mean, are you really gonna find someone else to live in this dump? NO!!!


51. My husband is in the military, so you know if he messes up or upsets the captain/sergeant he gets docked pay. So I went to my landlord and told her, "I am so sorry I just found out that My husband called his drill sergeant a worthless piece of shit and wasn't worth the money the us military put into training him. SO they penalized him by taking 45% of his pay so I am going to have to wait to pay you rent on next payday'" my landlord felt soo bad that I got a check from her the next week to pay my electric bill. I just loved it.


52. I once told my landlord that I was having problems with the timing belt in my truck and that it was going to cost me $600 (which is a true price) and that I just found out that if I don't pay the IRS $300 per month starting with a $300 deposit that my pay would be garnished in full until I paid everything in full. My rent is $900 so there you go.


53. I did not pay my rent because I have complained to the landlord 3 times about the wall heater going out and I have a newborn baby boy in the house! Also, to top it all off, the damned oven went out and I had to cook my entire Thanksgiving dinner in a 2 microwave ovens! I used the rent money to buy 3 electric portable radiators and they got the difference and the radiators back after everything was fixed. Oh, that was advised by an attorney.


54. I work for an apartment complex, we have a resident that thinks she owns the property. she came in last week and said.... did u not get the letter from my attorney stating that you two (leasing consultant and manager) are fired? I own this property and I don't have to pay rent. But you need to pay me for using my office.


55. These are a few that I have heard from some of my residents:


1. (From a resident that has a 5 year history of being late and making partial payments):
I can't pay my rent this month because I had to pay for my INS Green Card renewal.
2. A new resident that cleared background: I can't pay rent till the middle of the month because I had to bail myself out of jail........
3. Ok, we had this "independent contractor" who didn't seem to understand that he was not an employee: he did not work set hours, he got paid by the hour per job when completed, no takes, insurance, etc were taken out of his check.... he was behind a month and a half on rent, and at the point I told him we were not using his services anymore, he fell out of a tree he wasn't supposed to be in on our property and told the hospital he was an employee and worker's comp would cover it... Well, he's not an employee, and at the same time we were already under going unlawful detainer..... needless to say, to avoid a lawsuit we canceled the unlawful detainer and set a plan for him to pay rent and a month later he STILL HASN'T PAID! ugh.
56. Tenant can't pay rent this month cause there dog needed a rabies shot and if he didn't get a rabies shot he could bite someone and I as the landlord could be sued. This is one of 3 dogs when the lease says no dogs. Well if you take your dog to a rabies clinic its like $12.00 if its an office visit $35.00 may $50.00 so how about the other $950.00?


57. I was on my way to town to pay you rent, but my bag fell out of the car with 800 dollars in it. So I guess someone got an early Christmas present......and I responded ya it surely was not me!


58. We own about 6 rental properties and have managed up to 12 at any given time. Here are a few choice excuses that are true: "We were at an amusment park and the $ was in my pocket and it all fell out on the rollercoaster" "I just plumb forgot!" "We were at a pop warner parade. Our car was broken into and my wife's purse was stolen with rent money" ($1025 cash) "I came to drop it off and you weren't home." "My boyfriend moved back in with his wife and I lost my job" "I was overpaid by Social Security (from deceased husband), so they are taking the amount overpaid out of my 16 year old son's social security check and he will only get $16 for November" "We are waiting for our tax refund to come" "As soon as my son moves in I will get caught up" ONE MONTH LATER: "As soon as my best friend moves in I will get caught up"


59. My current tenants have never paid their rent on time once in the two years they have rented from me. I've heard various excuses: When their check bounced I heard: My wife went to deposit my pay check but their computers (Bank of America) were down. (Who ever heard of a bank refusing to take money? ) My boss's bank was just shut down so it takes an extra week for his checks to process since it goes to a new bank now. My boss is having financial trouble and hasn't paid me yet (same boss as above).


60. My tennant of two months has now said: The student loan got taken out of my last cheque by mistake through the bank. When the money is refunded to me you will get your rent.

Gawd knows how long it will really be.

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