The Mother Of All Excuses Place

Getting Out of Family Events and Holiday Functions Excuses

Friends we need a page of excuses for getting out of a family events or holiday functions. Sometimes family members will plans things that, for one reason or another -- or one PERSON or another -- you just don't want to attend, but you also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings ... and these people know you, so you can't make up anything outrageous. So maybe here we can list excuses here to get out of these events so it would be easier for people that want to have a place to search for excuses to get out of them. Plus it might be great to also hear other peoples stories about dysfunctional family get togethers during the holidays. So what do you think? Let's get this party started, or get those excuses here so people might be able to get out of those times the family events might be too unbearable to attend.

Note: The first one is an email someone sent me asking for help and actually suggested the new page. Great idea I wish I could have helped her out. But I thought it was good reading and could help get this page started.


  1. There's a Christmas family gathering (my husband's side) scheduled for about a month from now, and I have no intention of going. My husband doesn't want to go either, even though he knows they want us there, but he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings -- and he's the type of person that would sooner go by himself (a six-hour drive each way) than hurt his people .. which is okay with me, but he really doesn't want to go at all, and certainly not alone. The thing is, we both love these people and I would be happy enough to see them any other time of the year, but what goes on at their Christmas thing sets my teeth on edge. It's at the house of his elder sibling, and at Christmas time, her granddaughter is the star of the show. In fact, I call their Christmas family gathering "The Traci Show" (not her real name). She is happily given the lion's share of the attention from all adults present, and my mother-in-law dotes on her and brags about her like she's not only the best and brightest child in the universe, but also like she's the ONLY great-grandchild she has, and they all lavish her copiously with ridiculously expensive gifts .. while my grandchild (also Mom-in-law's great-grandchild, who has only attended one of these events -- and for good reason), might as well not exist. These Christmas family gatherings of theirs are normally held at Mom-in-law's place, about two and a half hours from here, which is bad enough -- but at least that's a day trip. This year, however, without consulting anyone, "Said Sibling" decided she was staying home and we would all come to her, which means a weekend trip. We can't claim that either of us has to work that weekend because they know we don't; his is not that kind of job, and I don't work outside the home. We can't claim that we can't afford a hotel room, because (a) they know we can, and (b) she'd put us up if we couldn't. I've thought about claiming illness, but I really don't want to "put that out there," and besides, we don't get sick, and they know it. At last year's Christmas thing, over half a dozen people took ill afterwards, after being exposed to one contagious person (who didn't know she was at the time). Out of everyone there, only my husband and I didn't subsequently get sick. (We take and swear by garlic supplements, a strong antiviral agent.) I don't know why I'm telling you all of this; I surely don't want it put on your web site -- because I've given enough details here that if either the sister-in-law or the mother-in-law were to read this, they'd see themselves and know who wrote it. I guess I'm just saying that, unfortunately, people need excuses for things other than what you have listed ... and if you can think of anything that might help me, please let me know!! Thanks. (Editors note: Further email discussions with her we decided it would be ok to post this one. It was edited a bit to make it harder to figure who this was about. If anyone has a good excuse for this person please send it in soon. Xmas is 24 days away!)
  2. To the woman who wrote looking for an excuse to miss the annual Xmas debacle... She commented she worked from home and I don't know what hubby does but what about something like this: "I/hubby have a major relicensing/certification exam soon and must spend all of my/his free time studying for it. It's so difficult that we can't possibly come for the weekend as it would squander too much valuable studying time and I/he cannot come alone because I/he is showing support by helping me study. If I/he don't pass this exam I may lose my job/ rupture my spleen/ never advance at work/ give birth to a rhino- pick the 'end of the world' scenario!' They can't prove something like this is not happening and we all have to update our creds from time to time. Good Luck.
  3. For family functions - especially if you have a child and someone else has a "star" for a child... Blame the child. "We were getting ready to leave and little Blly just started throwing up. We don't know if he was exposed to something or had a rection to something he ate. He never gets sick, we're taking him to get checked out (just don't mention by who - pick a neighbor and ask does he look alright to you? so your not lying) We would just hate to infect little Suzy and ruin the festivities." People must think my kids stay sick because I use the kids being sick to get out of a lot of funtions and they are two of the healthiest kids around!
  4. Family Christmas is a competition of accomplishments and upstaging other gifts with outrageous presents. I hated going before but now that certain relatives have passed, I am finding few reasons to go every year. I was thinking of using one like this: the homes in my neighborhood have been burglarized recently. Our home was almost broken into but I a)randomly went home for lunch b)am always home. We have started a neighborhood watch and we all need to be around as much as possible to nick the problem in the bud. I have noticed how quickly homes look unattended and are soon burglarized. I hate to miss the holiday but I need to stick around for a while.
  5. What, you want to go to my family's party? Why, did you find someone in my family that you haven't slept with yet?
  6. 6. I'm sorry, but there is no way in hell that I am visiting with your family unless I am dead drunk. And I haven't even started drinking today, so it's too late for me to tie on a good one before we go. Give them my best, though, would you?

Send mail to Madtbone with questions or comments about this web site.

Well friends this is all for now. I hope you enjoy this place and please go to the Submit Excuses page and send your excuses in!
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Last modified: 07/10/11