I received a request the a little while back for a
new category for Tall Stories. This person says she has tons of them
that she has heard. Maybe with this section started she will send some
of them in. And maybe you all have a few to contribute.
1. Background: Construction of the Washington Monument began in 1848.
Due to political and financial squabbles,
construction was halted in 1854, when the structure was about 150
feet tall. The construction work would
not resume until 1876. After a hiatus of
over two decades, the the marble mined from the quarry was a
slightly different color than that supplied for the original
construction work. The different shades
of marble are visible on the Monument, showing where construction
was halted between 1854 and 1876. While
visiting Washington, D.C., the guide on the tour
mobile bus told the passengers the story of why the marble in the
Washington Monument changes shades about 150 feet up.
I told her that this was not correct!
What REALLY happened was there was a
flood, and the waters of the Potomac River rose 150 feet, leaving
their mark on the Washington Monument!
2. I am a medical student currently
doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison Control Center. Today,
this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation
happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to
eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter in to the Emergency room right away.
3. Seems that a year ago, some Boeing
employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and
home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite
surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
4. Drug Possession Defendant, Christopher
Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been
searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't
need a warrant
because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.
"Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same
jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see
it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
5. R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two
patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment
to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system
worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them
his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments
later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed
Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis,
6. A pair of Michigan robbers entered a
record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit
7. Last summer, down on Lake Isabella,
located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California,
a woman new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she
tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to
perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very
sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted
over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working
order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop
was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped
in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he
was laughing so hard. (wait for it........ remember, this is
supposed to be true.......) Under the boat, still strapped securely
in place, was the trailer!
8. A massage parlor had opened down the
road from a church and the locals were outraged. The massage
company had paid the church to place leaflets advertising their
business in the church. The catch-line was "Play before you
pray..." I read this in a magazine.
9. Master at Arms is conducting a drug
awareness course for Navy Officers. Gets to the Marijuana unit.
Starts the unit by passing around a cigar box. Tells the officers
to crack it open, take a sniff, then look to see what it is, so
they'll recognize the scent if the smell it in their divisional
spaces. T here are three joints in the box when he starts to pass it
around. At the end, he finds only two in it. "Ha, ha, very funny.
Now, I'm going to pass the box back around, put the damned thing
back." Box whips around the class, now there's only one joint in
it. "Okay, now I'm getting ticked" he says. Has everyone put their
heads down on the desk, and pass the box around, so no one will see
who has the joint. Comes back with two joints. Now the instructor
is really pissed. Makes everyone go out in the hall. "Okay, one at
a time, you will enter the classroom, walk to the cigar box, open
it, and shut it. I hope that whoever has the controlled substance
puts it all back in the box, because the next step is to go down the
hall where they train drug dogs, and whoever has it will be
processed for possession!" Next time the instructor checked, there
were five joints in the box...
10. This one would qualify as a "Tall
Tale" (I came up with it myself, and had several people convinced
that I was right about it): Many people know and use the word
"incognito" - it means to be in disguise. What many people don't
know is the 'true' origin of this word. Many years ago there was a
small village in Venezuela called Cognito. The village became
infamous as a place where drugs and weapons were traded, along with
many other dangerous activities. People in other parts of South
America learned of the place and began to use it in part of their
excuses - "If you can't find me next week, it's because I'll be in
Cognito". When people in other countries heard this, they assumed
they were hearing that someone would be "incognito", and this has
become how we know this word now.
This is all we have so far. If you have any
to contribute please go to the
page and send me your Tall Stories.
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