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School and Homework Excuses 401
and up.
- 401. My desk fell apart and all my homework was
crushed this morning!
- 402. Teacher: Why are you so late? You:
Well, thing is, my toaster's really old-fashioned and it takes AGES to heat
up!
- 403. Paint your nose green and shout out silly
phrases, have a friend say you have a green nose sickness. That is how you get
out of p.e.
- 404. I was walking to school when the aliens came
down and abducted me, they fed information into my brain which made my brain
bigger and bigger until it exploded and it weighed more than 4 solar masses
thus forming a black hole I got sucked into it and I traveled faster than the
speed of light causing me to create my own friction on myself which
superheated me and turned me into plasma I exploded into another dimension and
by the time I got back from the other dimension I was late for school. Tell
the teacher this and they'll be to confused to give you detention.
- 405. On the day that my chemistry term paper was
due, I realized that I had left the 50 page report sitting in my printer tray
at home. When my teacher asked me where it was, I responded, "Oh,
that? Its not important. But if you must know, It died two days ago."
The next day, when I brought it in , I said, "Miracles can happen! My
paper rose again on the third day! Praise the Lord!" -- I received
full credit.
- 406. My daughter will not be in class today
because she cracked her head and went to the hospital her brain will be
removed and switched so please excuse her I advise you not to give her
homework for about two months, thank you. This one was actually used by
a 11 year old girl .
- 407. I didn't do my math homework because the
batteries in my calculator ran out!
- 408. For being late: Teacher: Why are you late??
You: Well you see my family and I just bought a dog.. and this morning when I
woke up my dog was lying on the floor... dead! (go in to details how he
had died and the exact place and stuff like that) the teacher gave me
detention for 2 months for lying to her later the teacher had called my mom to
see if it was true.. and it was! She was sooo embarrassed she let me go
for detention and now she believes what ever I say! (true story)
- 409. My sister fused the house with her hair
dryer and my alarm clock was reset.
- 410. I did my homework but I woke up late and I
forgot it by my computer.
- 411. For school/homework excuses: When I
was in 9nth grade geometry honors, the teacher didn't really check our
homework. Sometimes she would glance over it to make sure we did all of
it, but usually you could get away with stuff. I did the following on
many occasions: I hate proofs, especially two column proofs, but I don't
particularly like paragraph proofs either. Anyway, if the teacher
doesn't really grade your homework you can usually write a paragraph proof
that goes something like "I have no idea how to prove this. I'm
completely stumped." One time, I put "I really don't feel like proving
this right now." The teacher looked directly at it, circled it, and gave
me full credit on the homework.
- 412. Here's how my Spanish teacher checked
homework: He handed out calendars for each month. Every day we had
homework, he would walk around to see that we had it, then stamp that day on
the calendar. I guess one day he was feeling rushed or lazy, but the
girl that sat next to me hadn't done her homework, but she happened to have a
sheet of old homework layin' around, so the teach just walked by and stamped
without looking at it.
- 413. Teacher asks you why you haven't got any
books. You say, "I left them in school and the school was set on fire by
people." (this really happened to me. My school was set on fire by
vandals and loads of stuff was destroyed)
- 414. Sorry I was late for school, but my mom
would not let me out of the house until I flossed my cat.
- 415. (This is true) In my 9th grade English
class, we had to do this big long essay about respect and common courtesy and
behavior, because we were loud that day. Well that Jesse came over and
took it out of my printer and said that if I wouldn't let him watch TV. that
he would eat it. I didn't believe him, he ate half of it.. :(
When I told that to my English teacher, he told me I was crazy and to go sit
down. (I did not get to make it up :|)
- 416. In 7th grade, This girl was late for 3rd
period P.E., and when she finally showed up for class her excuse was " I
forgot I had class."
- 417. Please excuse Gordy from school today, he
left his brain on the subway.
- 418. Once our homework for P.E. was to bring a
tennis ball to school (to play tennis), but my dog chewed it up.
Therefore I could use the excuse "My dog Ate My Homework!"
- 419. True: I did my homework on the toilet
and my father used it for toilet paper.
- 420. Please excuse my son TJ from P.E. today.
Saturday he was outside playing football and he lost his foot. We have
been searching all over for it but we still haven't found it.
- 421. When I was in grade 6, I was usually
late getting back to school after lunch, and usually I got a detention for it.
So one day I was late again and as usual my teacher asked me why I was late,
not thinking I told him that our furnace broke and the toothpaste was frozen
so I had to go next door and wait for it to thaw. Well he laughed so
hard he told me if I could keep coming up with excuses as good as that I won't
get another detention, and he was right!!!
- 422. This one time when I was in class, this dude
didn't have his homework. As always, Mrs. Jones asked, "Teaky, why don't
you have your homework?", He said, "Well last night when I had gotten
done with the assignment, I had laid it down beside me. My baby sister
came over to me. When I looked up, she had it all in her mouth and was
all eaten and chewin' it". Then this other time Teaky didn't have his
homework again, and this other dude named Niko was like, "Hey Teaky, did your
sister eat it again?!!" The whole class bust out laughing!!!!!
- 423. If you don't want to do your homework,
present a load of random letters in the Windings font to your teacher and say
that you are sorry that your PC is broken and that is all it will print out!
- 424. This 1 really works! The night before
you have school the next day you go to your parents and say, "Mommy/Daddy (in
your sick voice) I have a stomach ache. Then at 10 pm to 3 o'clock am,
flush the toilet then get back in bed. 5 minutes later flush the toilet
again. Do it one more time and then go into your parents room and say"
Mommy/Daddy (in your sick voice) I have diarrhea for the 4th time. They
will end up letting you stay home from school. I did that on 1/6/03.
- 425. My dog keeps mistaking my homework for the
neighbors cat... by the way my cat is blind.
- 426. My son was off school today because I told
him to clean his room. It was very messy and took him all day.
- 427. I didn't do my work because you said it was
optional.
- 428. Please excuse Jim today he is constipated
and he is stuck on the potty.
- 429. For Art if you must draw something: Sorry I left
for the bathroom and my cousin who is not right in the mind put it in his
mouth and swallowed it. I couldn't do it again because we were just
about to leave the farm where I had drawn it and my inspiration left me.
- 430. This was used by a kid in the 5th grade:
Please excuse Shadi for shitting on the floor, he couldn't reach the toilet.
- 431. I'm late all the time/ miss school
frequently because I am anemic. I am pale from this, not from being up
all night partying. This is why I yawn, this is why I am tired. It
is not because I drank too much and slept too little.
- 432. Any excuse in the world, however crazy, will
work at school if you are a female, smiling sweetly at a male teacher;
trust me, I have used the maddest excuses on my male teachers for three years
and never got a detention. I have done everything, including 'Aliens
landed on Earth, took me hostage, stole everything I had including my
carefully done paper, then released me just in time for school, returning
everything except the paper'. I tried that one a female teacher once for
a dare, and she gave me an A for Imagination.
- 433. I was absent from school last week because I
was bitten by a snake and died, but luckily I was reincarnated this morning.
- 434. (True) My mom made chicken wings, its
my sisters favorite, she was so excited she ate 2 at the same time and she
started chocking on them. We took her to the hospital. I tried
doing the homework but I was so worried about her I couldn't do it. (try
crying)
- 435. so I'm 12 and I stole 42 pens from a teacher and
all I did was say my friend did it. (teachers never bust squealers)
- 436. I've used this one so many times... tell
them that you will print it after class and hand it in before the day is done.
Then go to the them the next day and say, "I came to your office but you
weren't there." It works 8 out of 10 times. The other 2 out of 10
doesn't work cause they say they were there all day.
- 437. Limp around all day then when you get to
P.E., have a friend pass by and say oh yeah he/she has been limping around all
day. Then make up a story on how you hurt yourself! Worked for
me!!!
- 438. One time I was late for P.E. (about 15 min.
late) so our class was already done stretching and when we showed up my
teacher was about to give us extended study when I finally said that we were
late because we were getting help with Math from our teacher and she didn't
have any more late passes.
- 439. I USED THIS REALLY: I couldn't come to
school today, my bus driver had to much Viagra and ran off the road.
- 440. "I couldn't practice my tuba because the
cows wouldn't give milk."
- 441. You: There really is no excuse for missing
my homework. Teacher: Your really usually filled with them. You:
Well I didn't have time to check the excuse website last nite, sorry!
- 442. Please excuse my son from school as he is
suffering from a hangover!
- 443. I don't have my book bag today because last
night my hamster got out of the cage and died in my book bag!
- 444. Absolutely true story!! Once in grade
3 I had to use this excuse: Sorry I was late Ms./Mr./Mrs. (teacher) I
was handcuffed to a tree and I couldn't reach the safety switch. I ts true my
friends and I were playing a game and one of my friends brought handcuffs to
school (metal ones not the crappy plastic ones) and when the bell rang they
just left me there and my hands were too far apart to reach the switch.
- 445. I have poop that won't come out so I can't
go to school.
- 446. True story (my older brother used it):
I am unable to turn in my homework because my little brother tore it up.
(I really did, I was really pissed of at him, but it was a long time ago so I
forgot why).
- 447. Teacher: Where is your homework?
Student: Still in my pen Miss.
- 448. My brother was caught selling cigarettes at
school that he had taken from his dad. His excuse was that by selling
them his father was smoking less and less likely to die!!
- 449. My homeroom is a mobile classroom, you know,
cheap walls, stuck in the middle of our school parking lot. This was
because we had an overabundance of students and did not have enough rooms.
Anyway, it is the science lab so we did not have desks, rather, cubby holes
against the wall. We were instructed that when we left, we were not
allowed to come back for anything. So, the convenient excuse for all
students in my class was "I left it in my cubby,". Well, one day, a
student notorious for not handing in work told our Math teacher "I left it in
my cubby." This must have been the 34th time he used that excuse in this
class. Without faltering, the teacher snapped back "Go get it!!!!!"
"But I'm not allowed," said the student. My teacher wrote him a signed
note to give to our homeroom teacher, and marched him over to the mobile
classroom. Upon searching his cubby while both teachers looked on, he
said "hmmmm, I know its in here...." Twenty minutes later all the papers
were on the floor and both teachers were pawing through it. He
eventually admitted he never did it. He got three detentions , one for
lying to a teacher, one for continuing the charade for 30 minutes, and one for
disrupting both classes.
- 450. I didn't do my homework because my cat peed
on it.
- 451. One day me and a friend were late to general
music class, we were late because
we were talking about the NFL playoffs from that weekend and lost track of time
completely, so we got to class and our teacher ask for a pass, we didn't have
one, so we went to the office and asked for a pass, they asked why we were
late
and that question totally caught us off guard, we simply replied that we were
talking to our science teacher about our assignment. And it worked like a
charm!!
- 452. Excuse for not coming to class or work:
(true story of a friend of mine)... I can't come in today. My
upstairs neighbor's cat is stuck in the ceiling of my bathroom and we can't
get him out. (Followed by, we tried to get to the cat by standing on the
sink but that fell down and now there is a cascade of water down the wall.)
- 453. Actual excuse I had for not being in
class... In college I had physics on M, W, F. One Wednesday, I
slept in past my morning physics class thinking it was Tuesday and I didn't
have class until the afternoon.
- 454. Teacher: Why didn't you do your
homework? Me: Dunno. At this point the teacher just turned
around and carried on with class without saying a word.
- 455. This is the funniest thing that I ever did.
I had to read a passage which started 'One of the main reasons...'
Instead I sat silently in my seat. My teacher thinking that I didn't
understand read the first word, 'one' I then replied 'of' and waited until she
said 'the' again I said the next word 'main' This actually worked for the full
sentence until my very pissed off teacher made me leave the class.
- 456. I actually used this around Christmas time:
I was about an hour late to 1st period and I came in and said that my mom had
blown a fuse with the Christmas lights which made my alarm clock turn off and
I didn't wake up for school on time...
-------------------------------------------- I was in drama and had a line
test (had to memorize all my lines) and my excuse for not knowing all them was
that I was sick (and I actually was sick a week earlier, but I'm such a good
actress that my sickness carried into the following week), so I told him I was
sick and that I was on medication that made me drowsy so I was sleeping all
the time and didn't have time to study my lines........ my theory is, if I can
fool a DRAMA teacher with those lines, they GOTTA work! :o)
- 457. This excuse is best for the last two
trimesters/semesters. "I have to go to court every Friday." That
way the teacher thinks that you are trying to straiten up, and will give you a
little leeway.
- 458. One day I was late for school and I forgot I
had an exam that morning, my teacher wouldn't let me sit my exam so I told him
my bus got bogged and we had to wait for another bus to pick us up, he felt
bad and let em sit the exam the next day.
- 459. This kid in my math class actually did this:
We always stapled all of our homework to a little slip every Monday (the day
we turned it all in) and so one time when he didn't do his homework, he
stapled his biology notes to it and made up some scores for his assignment.
The teacher didn't even notice, and he got an A. He has done that ever
since. I wonder if he
ever even does his homework anymore?
- 460. In my English class, everyone dislikes our
teacher, so one day, we decided that someone was going to go to the bathroom,
call the school from a cell phone, and ask to talk to their "second cousin"
(our teacher). One day we did it, but the kid forgot his name, so we are
going to try it very soon! Then the office would call the teacher up to
take a phone call, while we did whatever we wanted.
- 461. Well, my cat had diarrhea and shit all over
my homework.
- 462. I had lice yesterday and it took 2 days to
get rid of.
- 463. This morning my pet jumped out of the window
and I had to chase it, but when I caught it school was already over. [my
stupid teacher believed it]
- 464. I teach and received this excuse from a
student who returned to school late after lunch: I was at home helping
my little brother polish his models, sorry! Won all-time top honors with
me after 18 years of teaching.
- 465. I am sorry I wasn't in school yesterday, my
brother wouldn't wake up so I had to stay home and keep trying to wake him up.
- 466. When your teacher
asks why you couldn't finish your homework, tell him/her
that the power went off because of a mix up
paying the bill and with no lights or
computers you couldn't see to do it.
- 467. Excuses for getting out of P.E.:
1: I am sorry. My child suffers from acute schizophrenia and
entering the changing rooms could permanently change his/her personality.
2: ____ has currently got a case of Icantbebothereditus and cannot
undertake in P.E. today. Any form of exercise could be fatal. If
exercise should occur, consult a GP immediately.
3: (only works if you are a girl and have a male P.E. teacher) ____________ is
pregnant. If you make her do P.E., I'll tell the Head it's yours.
4: Please excuse ________ from P.E. as he/she is radioactive. Need I say
more?
5: If you make me do P.E., I'll sue the school for harassment.
- 468. For getting out of detention 4 missing home
work:
1. Rip a page out of your book, crumple it and then put it in your
pocket.
2. Tell your teacher that it ripped out of your book.
3. Do the home work when you get the chance and then hand it in.
- 469. When you are asleep in school and the
teacher wakes you up, quickly cross your hands like you are playing and
quickly say, "And thank you for my teacher. Amen" This really
works!
- 470. One morning I was in a really big rush and I
grabbed my newly-washed PE kit from the laundry basket. When I took it
out my bag the changing room was filled with a horrible smell. My excuse
for why I couldn't wear my PE kit was: "My cat likes to sit in our laundry
basket, and when I took my PE kit from it this morning I didn't notice that...er...it
used the laundry basket as a toilet!" The teacher burst out laughing and
let me off. PHEW!
- 471. Yesterday my mom made chicken wings for
dinner and when dad was eating them he chocked on one and it was stuck in his
throat. So we rushed to the hospital and I tried to do my homework at
the hospital but with all the noise in the halls I just couldn't. I'm
sorry. :)
- 472. Ok... My friend told me about this
happening... A group of people decided to skip school for whatever
reason. They went to a restaurant that was near the school and asked the
waitress to call them out sick. She did it and the school believed her...
- 473. Last Week I was studying and my friend's dog
bit me and sent me to the ER.
- 474. This an excuse that works every time with my
teachers. Miss: Where's you're homework? You: I can't get it
there's a spider in my locker and I have a phobia of spiders. I'll give
it to you whenever the spider moves away. ^_^
- 475. Instructor: Why weren't you at dance
practice? You: You know it isn't safe to ride a bike at night.
- 476. This one works, I used it! I
don't have my homework Mrs./Mr.______ because my pen exploded in my backpack
destroying my homework.
- 477. I was late to school because a cow was
laying in the middle of the road blocking traffic.
- 478. One time I did not wanted to go to school I
put all my clean cloths on my dirty cloths basket that way my mom would not
make to go to school . And it worked!
- 479. It's against my religion to do homework on a
day ending in "y".
- 480. Teacher: Are you chewing gum??? You:
Um no, I just have a sore jaw.
- 481. You: Sorry I got a bad report card Mom, its
probably because the stress that has been going around, Its common u know.
Mom: Then why don't you stop spending time with your friends? You:
That's the only thing that helps me unwind, being with friends also helps with
my social abilities.
- 482. This is one someone I know actually got to
use: "I haven't been in school the last two weeks because you ran me
over!"
- 483. I did my homework, really I did It's just
that I was followed by spies on the way to school, and I had to eat it to stop
it falling into enemy hands!
- 484. MOM: What are you doing outside when
your homework isn't done? KID: I think I need
a hearing aid I thought you said to go outside when your homework isn't done.
- 485. I was late for class one day because as I
was taking a bite out of a chocolate cupcake in the hand of my friend whose
locker is next to mine another friend of mine walked up and smeared it all
over my face and it got in my hair, on my clothes, shoes, in my locker, my
friend's locker next to mine, on my face and all down my friend's shirt.
The friend who shoved the cupcake in my face ran merely off to class as the
bell rang and I and the owner of the cupcake stood speechless staring at each
other. We went to class with the cupcake still on us
and the teacher allowed us to be late and to go wash the cupcake off as our
fellow classmates laughed hysterically at us.
- 486. Please excuse my sorry ass son from P.E.
today. Last night while he was jacking off to Britney Spears, he hurt
his arm.
- 487. My friend actually used this he stuck his
un-finished homework in his mouth ripped it up (or chewed it) and said his dog
ate it my other friend and I started cracking up!
- 488. Please excuse my daughter for being late on
Tuesday. A pigeon flew into her open window and flew around her room
messing up everything and we had to chase it out of the house.
- 489. This is an excuse I used to get out of a
English final (I am Mexican and was taking a English as second language
class)- "Professor, no puedo tomar el examen porque te oro." ("Teacher,
I cannot take the exam because I hate you.") The teacher did not
understand Spanish and never made me take the exam. Que suerte! I
would not try this unless you are assured that the teacher knows no Spanish.
- 490. I couldn't turn in my homework because I was
thinking to hard to actually do it that I couldn't think to turn it in.
- 491. It flew out the bus window!
- 492. When I was in middle school, I was in the
journalism class, along with several other geniuses who either forgot to do or
lost their homework. I never managed to find a good excuse, but one of
my fellow journalists would infallibly use the excuse, "Oh, I had
yearbook/newspaper work to do." It turns out that he not only got off
the hook, but became a teacher favorite for this excuse. Go figure.
- 493. One day I was late for school and it had
been raining and I was late so I used the excuse that I fell in a puddle and
had to change. (this works only if it has been raining)
- 494. When asked why he was late, a boy in my
class said "but I'm not late... I'm early for tomorrow!"
- 495. Once at the elementary school I went to, a
girl was asked to go to the office to get a manila folder. When she got
there she asked for a 'Vanilla folder'! After a few minutes of the staff
asking her if the teacher didn't want a strawberry or chocolate folder, she
got what she was sent for... needless to say she was extremely embarrassed.
- 496. A kid in my math class did this once.
He didn't do his homework that night so he squirted water in his backpack all
over old homework. He told the teacher that his water bottle exploded
and she said don't worry about it and he could make it up later. She
really thought that his water bottle exploded!
- 497. This really happened please excuse my
daughter as she stabbed herself with a craft knife in her left ankle when
cutting cardboard.
- 498. Mom: Why has your gerbil got a piece of your
report? You: Well, see I was about to give it to you, um, but I got
distracted by the ur, dog, and he ran at me and I was so shocked my hand flew
back and the gerbil um, stuck his head out of the cage and ate it. Yea,
that's what happened.
- 499. I apologies for (your name) 's lateness to
school today it was my fault, I needed his/her help to strap on our dog's
prosthetic leg. Sometimes when the dog is not feeling too corporative I have
trouble attaching it to the little stump that she has left. It wont
happen again. Thank you sincerely (parents name).
- 500. I can't come to school today my dog ran away
and he walks me to school.
Well friends we have more School and Homework Excuses to go. The School
Excuse 6 page has excuse 501 and up. Please click on the
School Excuse 6 link to go there. Enjoy
If you like this web site, please
Email
a link to your friends.
Madtbone
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