201. So I'm driving
to work (I'm late) and the police stop me for speeding so I told
them that I fell down the stairs and hurt my ankle and that I was
going to the hospital and couldn't control the pedal they let me off
and told me next time call an ambulance.
202. A relative who
is a cop, pulled over a high school girl for speed. She was sobbing
uncontrollably. Thinking this was yet another cry-her-way-out-of-it
ploy, he told her there is no reason to be so upset. She insisted
there was a reason. She told him she had been on a first date with
a boy, then she opened her legs to reveal a flood of menstrual fluid
that had soaked through her denim pants. He promptly handed back
her papers and shouted, "GO!"
203. Two guys
obviously drunk were leaving a club in Athens Greece, just next to
their parked car was a police van. When they where ready to get in
to their car the policeman stopped them saying: "Hey, you can drive
like that, you're drunk!" One of the man replies, "what are you
talking about?", Policeman: "I'm saying that if you get into the
car and attempt to drive I'm gonna have to arrest you!!" Man: "And
how are we going to go home?" Policeman: "Walking". Man: "And do
you think we are able walk in our condition?"
204. My wife was in
the process of passing a stone and doing 50-60 in a 40. Police
officer lights her up about a block from the doctor's office she was
going to and she keeps going to it. Once there and out of the car
he looks at her and asks why she was doing at least ten if not
twenty MPH over the limit. Her response? "Unless you want me to
vomit all over your shoes, I'd suggest you move. NOW!" He moved,
she ran inside, prayed to the porcelain goddess, came out and he
waved at her and left.
205. I was
traveling down towards Miami FL on I-95 one night and was pulled
over in West Palm Beach clocked at a speed of exactly 95mph in 55mph
zone. The officer asked me for my license and other info and asked
me if I know why he pulled me over. I answered that I was not sure
why and he told me what my speed was. I replied that the little
blue sign said 95mph limit on it so I drove it! The FHP officer
laughed so hard he could hardly contain himself. He asked me if I
was driving on I-295 in Jacksonville, would I try to go 295mph, or
if I was on I-4 in Orlando would I creep along at 4mph? He then
told me to get outta here before he changes his mind and to pay
attention to the "white" speed limit signs and that the "blue" speed
limit signs are actually road indicators! Of course to which I
already knew genius!!! LOL
206. One night back
during my teen years, I and my best friend were traveling on I-4
just Southwest of Daytona Beach FL. We were in an older model
Chevrolet Caprice Classic clocking about 125mph within a posted
55mph speed limit! An FHP officer from out of nowhere appears in
the left hand lane (passing lane) and slowed to the same speed which
we were going! He waved with a "watch this" look on his face as he
stared at us two teen-aged boys in the car, stomped on the gas and
left us in the dust as if we were standing still! He must of made
it into Daytona long before we actually got the car slowed down to
the speed limit. We were on out best behavior the rest of the
207. I'm speeding
because I have explosive diarrhea, I need to find a bathroom. They
have to let you go for a medical emergency.
208. My daughter
borrowed my station wagon one day and proceeded to go through a stop
sign. When she saw the police car do a U turn, she pulled over
before the siren and lights were put on and had her window down by
the time the RCMP officer walked up to her vehicle. As he stopped,
she threw up her hands and said, "I can't believe I just did
that!". He replied in a gruff voice, "Well, don't let it happen
again", and walked away. It was then she noticed she had forgotten
her purse and didn't even have her driver's license with her.
209. If a cop pulls
you over for speeding say, "I had a terrible night, I almost run
over an old lady, got dumped by my girlfriend (or boyfriend...either
way)" and then start to break out crying, it actually worked for
210. A friend and I
were driving down a long empty highway looking road, so my friend
decides to be an idiot and drive in reverse, but going the right
way. We got about two miles down the road, then a state trooper
showed up. My friend had him following us for a half mile before
stopping!! The officer walked up to the car and started yelling at
my friend, then my friend goes "I'm sorry officer, I didn't see you
in front of me!" I wanted to kick him in the head!! The cop
arrested him for verbally harassing him, but took me to the station
to get picked up by his brother, who by the way did not post bail!!
211. When police
arrived in Appleton, Wisconsin to remove a woman's children because
of a complaint that she had given her 11-year-old daughter a
"swirlie" (Holding her head in a flushing toilet). The woman
reportedly said, "I haven't had a vacation in 13 years, go ahead and
212. My friend and
I once got pulled over after a night of drinking.. and the cop asked
if we had been drinking. So I kinda laughed and said nope, then he
says so you're not under the influence of anything? And I replied,
"Officer the only thing influencing me is god.!" He looked at me
and laughed. Then told me to be careful getting home.
213. I was stuck by
myself in serious traffic on the 10 Freeway, with the cars in the
carpool lane just flying along. I jump in the carpool and then
notice that there was a cop several cars behind me. I put my
blinker on and get back in the fast lane. He pulls me over and I
immediately act upset asking why he is pulling me over when that
crazy guy tried to run me off the road. If that carpool lane
wouldn't have been there I would have been in a major wreck. The
cop let me go and actually apologized. HAHAHA.
214. I had just
gotten a new car, and it still had it's temporary license plates on
it. It was a manual. I ran a red light on top of a hill and a cop
pulled me over. I told him I wasn't very good at driving stick yet
had I stopped uphill I would probably have rolled far enough
backwards to hit the car behind me before I could go. He let me
215. I just broke
up with my boy friend give me a brake.
216. Tell the
officer that you have "the runs" really bad, and that if he doesn't
believe you, he can come and "check." Grimace and wiggle as if
you're trying to hold it in. However, you're on your own if he
comes in and checks.
217. This is a true
story, it happened to my friends mom. she was pulled over for going
55 in a 35. The officer asked her where she was going in such a
hurry and she said in her most pissed off voice, "I'm late for my
weight watchers meeting, I haven't lost any weight this month and
I'm so bloated right now I think I'm gonna explode." It turns out
the officer had also been in the weight watchers program and told
her that with an excuse like that it had to be true. She was let go
with a verbal warning.
218. I had just
painted my truck and was driving home that night with my girl
friend's kids buckled on the seat beside me. The slow driving van
in front of me was missing the red tail light cover so the bulb was
more blinding than normal because my windshield had a dried on paint
spray mist. I gunned the truck (loud muffler and all) and began
sailing past the the van (way over the speed limit and unable to
hear anything over the muffler). I was suddenly surrounded in blue
lights. Its amazing what paint fogged glass and a van beside you to
reflect police lights can do! Anyway, the cop walks up asking my
for papers and little girl with me holds her arms out and says to
the cop, "I want a hug". I suspect the cops made up a "checking for
drunk driver" reason on the spot and let me continue on my way after
a breath test. I still haven't made up my mind if I can make
deliberate use of this in the future.
219. One night
while on patrol, Sergeant Dave Hoffman of Naperville, IL saw a car
sail through a red light without even slowing down. When he pulled
the car over and asked the girl why she hadn't stopped, she told him
she had just had her brakes repaired and it was so expensive that
she didn't want to wear them down. She was given the ticket.
220. John Ferguson
of North College Hill P.D. in Ohio, stopped a car for speeding and
asked the young lady why she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. She told
him she was an exotic dancer
and the seatbelt pinched her nipple rings and hurt. She offered to
show Ferguson in case he didn't believe her. She was found guilty
by a judge in court and he told her he didn't need to see the
221. Although this
didn't happen to him, officer Roope Letho of Espoo, Finland, relayed
this excuse an older officer had once received: "I can't help it,
constable. Someone has hypnotized me to park illegally!"
222. When officer
Gary Lenon of Mecosta County Sheriff Department pulled a car over
for going 80 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, the driver explained that a bee
had been flying around his head, so he sped up in hopes that the bee
couldn't fly that fast and would be unable to fly out of the back
seat area to get near him.
Excuses 223 thru 231 are actual accident excuses turned in to an
Borrowed from the Bizarre News Letter.
223. I thought my
window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.
224. The pedestrian
had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
225. I had been
driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an
226. A pedestrian
hit me and went under my car.
227. I pulled away
from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed
over the embankment.
228. I was trying
to get out of the ambulance's way when I hit the pedestrian on the
229. The guy was
all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit
230. I saw the
slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of
231. I collided
with a stationary truck coming the other way.
232. My friend,
Rich, a cop, stopped a man for speeding one night. He approached
the car and asked, in his best Cop voice, "OK bud, where's the
fire?" The speeder looked out the window at him and replied
"Officer, my wife is getting pregnant and I want to be there when it
happens!" Rich let the guy go.
233. My friend
(a.k.a. Lead-foot) gets pulled over by a deputy sheriff (originally
coming from the opposite direction) in Rockwell, NC after whipping
into the turning lane of Hwy 52 to blow past on old lady driving a
white Buick. (He was going 50-60 in a 35) My friend gives the
following excuse: "I'm so sorry officer... (starts crying... he was
16 at the time) But that lady pulled right out in front of me, I
swerved into the turning lane to avoid an accident, and I sped
around her because I just got my license and the whole thing made me
panic. My parents just bought me this car, and now because of some
old lady almost making me have a wreck, I'm going to get a ticket
and my parents are going to kill me!!" The cop responded, "Aww,
it's OK, son... You say that old lady was in a white Buick?" "Yes,
sir." "Did you get her tag number?" "No, sir. I was too scared to
think about that." "Well, son, if something like that happens
again, just be sure to get their license number and we can make sure
things are handled properly. Now you be safe and have a nice day."
(I couldn't believe that the cop actually believed my friend!!)
234. I was going
down the road in a small town, and pulled up next to a good looking
blonde, and wanted another look at her, as I was speeding up to get
another look at her a cop pulls me over. The cop comes up to the car
and asks me why I was speeding. I said, I was trying to catch the
girl in that car, I said the bumper sticker said If I you can catch
me you can have
me. The cop said that was his sister, and I was like dang... He
let me go with a warning.
235. This is not
really an excuse, but here it goes: I've had a verbal warning of
speeding - on a bicycle! All right, the road was a narrow gravel
road just outside a local suburb, allowed for motor vehicles, two
ways, but with 30 km/h limit. I had a nice downhill coming up, and
I was going to gain speed for that (I was used to riding that hill
down as fast as possible). A motorcycle cop came to my side, then
waved me to stop just before the downhill, and asked me if I knew
how fast I was riding. I said no, I haven't got the meter, and he
replied: "Boy, you were doing 42 in a slight uphill and facing the
wind, and it clearly says 30 in that sign. The 50 limit begins from
the asphalt coating under the hill, please ride below 30 until
you're there." Gee, I still had to stand on the brake to do below 30
in that downhill. Luckily he didn't object to my having no lamp or
236. I just
returned from the USA. They use miles there, and I got so used to it
that when I returned the 100 kilometer sign I thought meant 100
237. My friend owns
a lime green car, and I mean LIME GREEN. I can spot his car from 20
miles away. So it always breaks down and something is always wrong
with it. So one day is was running bad and his mom was following
behind him incase the car broke down. Well, he was driving slower
than usual to be careful. He got pulled over, with his mom
following behind him, and he got a ticket for driving too slow!
238. This isn't
mush of an excuse. My father is a cop in the town of Elmore and I
was in the car with him one day. He decided we would play a game
with he dispatcher. He was "supposedly" pulling over a red Chevy
pick up for reckless. Then he said " The driver seems to be
driving much better now that a second head has popped up.
239. I was in my
Jeep with a friend. She saw another person we knew in his car in
front of us. I took off from the stop sign we were at, speeding and
flashing my headlights. Just then I saw a cop behind us, I knew I
was done for. The cop pulled me over and the friend pulled over in
front of us. The cop said he had a report of a Jeep mud bogging
earlier. He asked if I had been in the mud, (being sarcastic in
nature, and just waxing the Jeep) I leaned out the window and said,
"Why, is it dirty?" He looked puzzled and just let us go, no
questions asked. You should have seen the look on my friends face;
she couldn't believe what I just said.
240. I was pulled
over by a Ma state trooper on a major highway that runs through a
small town. I was going 80 when it was supposed to be 65... When
he asked me if I knew why he pulled me over, all I said was " Well,
this is my first time on the highway in my new car and it drives
very different than my old one" (really I've had it for months and
sped around everywhere in it, but the officer didn't need to know
that). He then asked me what I used to drive and when I told him
what it was, he actually agreed with me on how different they were!
I don't think he's ever driven either one himself because they drive
almost exactly the same! I got off with a warning and a compliment
for "handling the new car so well" ha ha
241. I was had just
gotten off from work and was driving into town to see my girlfriend.
An officer pulled me for speeding, and as he walked up to the car, I
was thinking of something to say. When he asked why I was speeding,
I said "Officer! My wife's in labor and having a baby! I'm trying
to get her to the hospital!" The officer leaned into the car and
said, "But, there's no one in the car with you, sir." So, I yelled,
"Oh, no!" I put the car in gear, did a complete 180 degree turn, I
drove as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I looked in the
rear view mirror, expecting to the officer chasing me, but all I
saw was him standing in the middle of the road, shaking his head.
242. A cop polled
me over and he said that I had just ran a red light and I said that
I just got these new contacts that made everything look green, and
he let me go with a warning.
243. Shopping for
my wife's birthday present, I had to change my son's diaper in the
Mall Parking Lot. When I was speeding back home, turned out I was
speeding enough to draw a cop's attention. As I pulled over, took
the diaper out of the diaper bag, opened it, and placed it on the
floor beneath my seat. It was pretty rank. The cop leaned into the
window and staggered back quickly. "Sorry, officer. We're toilet
training the kid, and he's at the stage where he only goes potty in
his own bathroom. I was trying to get home before he messed, but
it's too late now. " He let me go.
244. This happened
to my mom once when she was on her way back home after a week in
Indiana. She was doing 87 in a 55. Needless to say, a cop managed
to see her but he only clocked her at around 77 because she saw him
before he clocked her. He pulled her over and asked her the usual
questions. As he started to write her ticket out my mom goes " well
kids, I guess we aren't going out to eat after all". The cop looked
on the floor in the passenger seat, saw an open bag of Doritos and
an open box of cereal. He looked at my mom and said "mam, kids live
off of that stuff, I don't think you have anything to worry about"
needless to say she still got the ticket.
245. Not exactly an
excuse... A friend took me on a road trip two states away while I
was in the navy. My friend never drove his car at the posted speed
limit. On the 55mph freeway, he did 50. On the way back, about 2
am, I was seriously starting to worry we wouldn't get back in time.
So I talked him into taking a nap in the back while I drove. I kept
it at 53 until he started to snore, then took off. I'm not sure
what speed I was doing when I blew past the highway patrol, but it
was up around 75 to 80. Knowing I was caught, I took foot off the
gas and started coasting down. Suddenly, a sports car came up from
behind, doing in the range of 100 mph. He passed the cop, then
passed me, no sign of slowing. Cop pulled into the passing lane to
go after this guy. I started to breathe easier when the cop pulled
up alongside. He made eye contact, pointed to me, and flashed his
hand 5 - 5. I nodded soberly, and he went off after Super Speeder.
When my friend awoke, I was doing 51 just about to take our exit.
We made it barely in time.
246. Well working
for a funeral home in Australia. I was pulled over transporting a
particularly smelly body. I was pulled over because the car I was
in was similar to one used in a ram raid. The policeman on his
first ever shift being eager to please his older offsider pulled me
out of the car and started the usual drill that you would receive as
a suspected ram raider. He then wanted to inspect my car.
Unfortunately not checking my rego he had no idea to the cargo and
was fortunate enough to see his first dead body. That had been in
the water for to weeks and not only smelled but was deformed by the
fishes. The end result after helping his partner drag this poor cop
who was now past out on the ground to his car, was a stern warning
to not ever open the back of the car in his presence again. lol the
eagerness of youth.
247. When I was
younger, in High School, I always took a school bus to school; itís
about 10 miles through suburban Philadelphia. One clear sunny early
spring morning, while stopped at a 4 way Stop sign on the way to
school, a car made a sharp turn in front of the bus and hit it
almost head on... no injuries, he was only going about 5 MPH or so.
It was made into a big deal though, with all the parents coming to
the accident scene after hearing of it on TV and radio - fearing the
worse for their kids. Anyway... The PA State trooper that had
responded to the accident asked the car driver what had happened, he
said "I didn't see it". The entire community that had surrounded
this guy started laughing... we're talking about a 50 foot long
"School Bus Yellow" vehicle....what an idiot. PS, I didn't have to
go to school that day :-)
248. I got pulled
over on my way to work (yes, I was speeding but that's beside the
point). When the sheriff asked me if I was running late, I answered,
"Yes. I'm scheduled to do a presentation today." When asked what
the presentation was about, I lowered my voice and said "Time
management." He burst out laughing, shook his head, and after
telling me to "Just slow it down a bit ok?" He let me go.
249. Officer - Do
you know why I stopped you ? Driver - Do I get a ticket if I guess
right. Officer - You will still get a ticket. Driver - I don't want
to play nymore.
250. I had just
bought a new Fiat, and was letting it loose on a stretch of road
marked as 35 - I was doing 60 easy. Cop pulls me over and wants to
know if I knew how fast I was going. I replied "35". He says, no,
you were doing over 60. I pointed at the tachometer and told him
"That dial said I was going 35." The cop's jaw dropped, and he
said, "Lady, do you know the difference between a tachometer and a
speedometer?" I played dumb, listed to his little
lesson on the difference between the two, and wound up with no
ticket and a date for that Friday!
251. Driving home
late one night a police patrol pulled me over. The officer came to
the window with ticket book in hand and proceeded ask me with a smug
look " did you know you had no tail lights at all?". thinking as
quick as I could I replied " well officer as I don't follow myself
around when I am driving I had no idea that my tail lights were
out". The officer was dumbfounded and could not utter a word for a
good thirty seconds. Finally he said " Mate I never heard such a
logical explanation in my life, I will follow you home and make sure
you get new bulbs in the morning". So confused was he that he failed
to check any other details, If he had things would have been
252. One night me
and a bunch of my friends were out driving in one of those new
Maxima that just came out. We saw a straight stretch of road and my
friend decided to step on it and before we knew it a local cop had
us clocked at 130 mph. in a 55. At that point we attempted to out
run him since he had to cross the median to get to us. We turned up
the only road close by and attempted to park and turn off the lights
when we realized it was the Byrne's Mill police station. At that
point we knew we were busted.
253. Horry County
South Carolina, DUI checkpoint and I just got into town for work
coming from Florida. But just bought my house in North Carolina, so
I had Florida license with North Carolina tags. I got stopped by 6
cops at this check point and all 6 cops came over to the car and
asked the same damn question. "Is this a stolen vehicle?" And I
responded "What a chick can't own a hot rod?" Cops walks away and
one officer comes back and say mam step out the vehicle. They make
me go to the back of the car and I was like I'm dead now. He says
"You know what I'm writing you up for?" and I was like "No, I'm not
doing anything wrong." he says "Working in South Carolina and not
having South Carolina License." And here I am thinking to myself.
"How is that possible when I reside in North Carolina?" $100 ticket
that I went to court for... I even went to DMV and they refused to
issue me a license because I had no residence with the state. So I
asked if they would write an excuse so I can show the Judge. Well
they refused. They told me they couldn't do that and I was like
whatever. Finally, sitting in court this guy who gives his son drugs
and driving under the influence is before me. Here comes my turn and
the Judge calls me up there. First time in court ever in my life. I
told the Judge "You can throw me in jail but I'm not paying this
bogus ticket." And the Judge was like "You want to go to jail, I'll
throw in jail." and here I am now crying , balling my eyes out,
shaking, nervous as heck and I said "Okay , If you find it in the
law I'll pay the fine" Judge and 4 other officers reading the law
book for about hour and here I am squirming around because I have to
pee... So, I say to the Judge "Can we hurry this up? I can't hold it
much longer." and the Judge was like "Okay, I have to let you go but
I know the law is in there." lol...I was so happy to get out of
254. I was driving
from Omaha, Nebraska on my way up to Newbern, New York. I finally
get to my destination without being pulled over. This was such a
small town and I couldn't even find one place to eat or even a
hotel. So here I am driving in circles up and down the street. (
Mind you I have a White Samoan Husky sleeping in the car at the
time) A cops pull me over and asked if I stole my car. Here I am
already in an irate mood from driving 3 days straight no sleep and
that I didn't want to deal with their sarcasms. So I yelled at them.
"Does it look like I can steal a car? (I'm only 4'11 and 83 pounds).
I'm just looking for a hotel and place to eat"...So, the officer was
like "Okay, mam calm down it's just straight down the street about 3
blocks". As he's about to leave he turns around and asked me "You
didn't happen to steal a polar bear from the zoo now did you?" and I
yell at him in irate tone and said "You don't know the difference
between a bear and dog?"..I was so ready to about to blow my top and
the cop could see my face that he just let me go and told me to have
a nice day and to get rest...;p That day I'm surprised I didn't get
arrested with the hell I gave those officers. Hehe Don't mess with a
blonde when they have an empty stomach and no sleep or shower or no
255. A friend and I
were pulled over in Statesville, NC for supposedly crossing the
yellow line. My buddy who was driving the vehicle was asked whether
we had any weapons in the vehicle. My friend then responded nah, we
left them at home with all the drugs. The officer did not take
kindly to his comment, and introduced his head to the hood of the
vehicle, and his ass to a royal chewing. In the end we were left go
with a warning.
256. My boyfriend
was on his way home from work one night and was pulled over for
speeding. When the officer asked what the rush was, my boyfriend
told him he had to go to the bathroom really bad and couldn't wait.
The police let him go and even followed him to the nearest store to
make sure he was going there!
257. Police excuses
I've used that worked: My friend is OD-ing, I'm trying to help the
ambulance find her house so I had to get there fast. My contact fell
out and I was trying to put it back in. (faking distressed
breathing) I'm having an asthma attack... do you... have an
inhaler... I'm late for work and I needed an excuse, so I floored it
when I saw you. I just got the oil changed, and it was WAY overdue.
So now I'm running a good 15hp over what I was, and I'm trying to
get used to it... Damn! I JUST got a ticket from the last guy!
(actually got away from that one because of it)
258. My husband and
I worked for the carnival for nearly 10 years, each night after
closing a large group of us always jump in the truck to go to the
store. My husband was riding shotgun, and our friend Toad was
driving the truck. On the way home from the store. A local police
officer in St. Joseph Mo pulled us over to let us know that neither
of our break lights were working. After a bit of discussion the
police officer decided he was going to write Toad a warning ticket.
To this my husband replied in drunk manner (acting) "You can't talk
to my friend Toad like that, not when he's been drinking. Tell him
Toad (in a very hickish voice). The police officer seeing our
carnival work shirts smiled dropped his head and told us to be on
our way without so much as even the warning ticket.
259. My cousin Tanya
was driving me to a party back when we were teenagers. Now you have
to know Tanya she's a true blond and bleach on top. LOL Anyway we
were driving along and a cop gets in behind us. Well she speeds up
and passes the car in front of us. The cop in turn came around the
car as well. So Tanya again speeds up and passes the car in front of
her. Now she's the lead car on this backwoods road. Having already
turned his lights on he turns his siren on. So she pulls over. He
then walks up to the door with Gun drawn. Now a bit of info the
driver window will not go down. So she goes to open the door. Well
he puts his foot against the door tells her to stay in the car. Long
story short we end up with our faces on the ground. After a bit of
time she explains to the police officer that she saw him behind her
but thought he was after the car in front of her. When he followed
she thought for sure he was after the other car so she went around
to give him room to pull him over. And the only reason she pulled
over was because she thought he was in a hurry and needed to go by.
They (now about 10 officers) all laughed heartedly in a crowd about
10 feet away from us and un cuffed us and let us go.. The funny part
is it wasn't an Act! She really thought he was in a hurry to get
someone else! Because she told me right before the cop pulled us
over "Somebody must have got robbed."
260. True story,
once my Dad was pulled over for SPEEDING about 90 in a 60 mph zone
on a Oklahoma highway, when the the cop got up to the car, he ask
Dad young man what is your problem , you were going over 90 mph, My
dad said officer my dad who I have not seen in 15 yrs is dying and I
wanted to get there to see him before he passes, The Cop said son
every one has excuses, but some how I believe you, but I am still
going to give you a warning, and on that warning it says, not
putting on your landing lights before coming in for a landing.
261. One night while drinking at home I received a phone call
from a female friend wanting me to come over, so I hoped in the car
and headed out, quite drunk. I turned left at the light onto a four
lane road, directly into the far lane to make the next right hand
turn. I was pulled over by a female officer, who proceeded to give a
sobriety test. When I got out of the car, I realized my zipper was
down, so I proceeded to cover myself during the testing. The officer
asked me why I was covering my crotch, and I responded "Well mam,
your a female and my fly is down. I'm a little embarrassed." She
smiled and sent me on my way.
262. At the time I am writing this it is about 2007 month of
march. about 25 years ago, my friend and I where traveling thru the
nearby state park at about 50-60 mile per hour. The posted speed
limit for the entire state park was 25. Of course we got caught
speeding, a new Sheriff and his older training officer walked up to
the window. Now there is background that I have to give you to make
the rest of this make sense to you. My friend who was 16 had been
working at the local county airport for about 2 years working for
flying lessons. he washed planes, fueled them up and among other
things moved them. back to the Sheriff, where in the younger Sheriff
asked my friend for his "polits lic." Without missing a beat, my
friend opened his wallet and pulled out his solo polits to the
Sheriff. He stops about half way back to the squad car and looks at
the ID. This puzzled look comes over him and the older Sheriff asks
him what is wrong, he shows the solo polit license to the Sheriff
and he starts to howl. About this time the older Sheriff says, you
get what you ask for. It took a few moments, but he came back said :
" Slow down, have a nice day, I will never ask that again. " gave
back the ID. Now, that only works if you have the right license!
263. I am English and this happened just after I had passed
my driving test. I was driving my father's car back from Heathrow
Airport - he drove there and I was bringing his car back home. It
was the first time I had driven on a motorway and I was going round
the M25. A thunderstorm started and I knew there were no service
stations but had no idea where the next exit was. So I stopped on
the hard shoulder, with my hazards going. It is actually illegal to
stop on a motorway unless you are broken down. Then a policeman was
knocking on my window, asking what the problem was. I explained that
I am absolutely terrified of thunderstorms and felt it was not safe
for me to drive with my eyes closed! He said that he would check on
me the next time he drove past! The storm passed a little later and
I drove home safely - without seeing the police again!!!
264. My sister was leaving from her sister-in-lawís house
traveling on the 110 freeway in California. She said she was driving
the speed limit when suddenly she was pulled over. She could not
figure out why she was pulled until the Sheriff approached the
window and asked her for her phone number. She was appalled and told
him no thank you. Even though it wasnít quite an excuse she could
have still received a ticket when she declined.
265. A Montana State University chemistry professor claimed
in March that he was wrongfully accused of being drunk after an
accident (which occurred while he was on work-release for a previous
(drunk driving sentence). While a state trooper found him "highly
intoxicated," the professor said a chemical explosion in his lab
caused him to smell and act drunk and that his statement to the
trooper about having consumed a six-pack of beer was merely
incoherent babbling" because of the trauma of the accident.
266. This is my story about being pulled over. I was coming
home from a Christmas party, at the hospital I was working for. At
the party, there was (of course), Christmas music. So I got on Rt.
37 and I admit was speeding. Next thing I know, red and blue lights,
and big spotlights in my rear view mirror. I promptly pulled over. I
told the officer, the truth about coming back from a Christmas
party. There was music on my (car) radio, and I really was not
paying attention to my speed. Being at a party, the cop asked "have
you been drinking?" I said "yes sure. I was drinking......Pepsi.: I
could see a smile come across his face. He went back to his car, and
brought back a warning. He said that in 15 years of being on the
force that was the best answer he ever had.
267. Acey612 writes: ďMy day job is as a police officer for
the city where I live. We are a smaller town, but since we are 10
minutes from the beach, we have a lot of traffic. I normally lead my
department in citations per month, but I wanted to provide viewers
with the top 5 ways to get OUT of a ticket.Ē
1. Donít Argue. If you feel you are innocent, donít argue your point
with the officer. Maybe you are innocent, who knows? But even if you
are, thatís what COURT is for. Arguing with the officer on the side
of the road wonít do anything to help you, and if you make the
officer mad, he/she will probably find something else to write you
2. Honesty. In a perfect world, no one would break the law. However,
if you are driving with a suspended license, no license, no
insurance, ect. and the officer asks you about itÖ Donít lie. There
are many offenses that you can be written a ticket for, or go to
jail over. This is left up to the discretion of the officer, and if
someone is honest to me, I try to give them as many breaks as I can.
3. Donít flirt. Contrary to popular belief, flirting will not get
you out of a ticket. I have had girls AND guys try this. Itís
insulting, and most officers will give you a ticket when you try it.
(Also bear in mind that 90% of all traffic stops are on digital
video AND audio, donít embarrass yourself.)
4. No Excuses. Even if you have a valid excuse, donít offer one.
Just follow the officerís commands and provide the needed
documentation. We normally respect people who donít try to obviously
get out of a ticket by using excuses. I have heard all of them. FYI,
if you say you were in a hurry because your uncle is in the
hospital, we will call the hospital to verify your story. If youíre
lying, it donít look good.
5. Obey the Law. Alright, you knew this one was coming. I have given
you some good tips, but none of them are fail safe. A lot of
discretion is left to police officers on whether you are cited or
not. Each officer is different, and may have a different policy on
things than I do. Since getting, or not getting a ticket relies on
your behavior, as well as the officer that stopped you, the only
PROVEN way to get out of a ticket is to obey the law. Donít speed,
and wear you seatbelt. No one likes being pulled over, but believe
it or not, traffic laws are enforced for your safety. I have worked
many wrecks that were caused just because someone wasnít obeying a
simple traffic law. The bottom line is, we are here to help you, and
keep you safe.
268. Here is an excuse that I used on a Austin, Tx. police
officer that did not work...
I was stopped for running a red light as I was In the intersection
and the officer asked me, "Do you know what to do when you see a
yellow light?" My reply was "Yes., You go like hell cause It's gonna
turn red". Needless to say that one got me a ticket...
269. My husband, step-daughter and I were going to visit
family at the Jersey Shore and my husband had to use the washroom.
As we were almost there, I sped up a little through the small town
where the speed limit was 25 mph. I was going 45 when I passed a cop
sitting in the median. Seeing the out of country plates (Ontario,
Canada), he immediately stopped us. As soon as he came to the window
I explained that I was sorry, but my husband had a "potty emergency"
and we weren't sure how far before we could get to my
sister-in-law's place where they were staying. As I handed him my
license, registration and insurance, I could see him in the rear
view mirror walking back to the cruiser, talking into his radio and
laughing. He obviously couldn't stop grinning as he came back to the
car and asked me to please slow down a little and directed us to the
right street and said "Have a nice day, ma'am!". Still laughing he
walked back to his cruiser. But I didn't get a ticket! Whew!
270. Tell the copÖ. My friend called and said he just saw my
wife cheating on me, I gotta get to the house before the guy leaves!
271. Not an excuse but an awesome story, not sure if this
officer did the right thing or not, butÖ. My friends and I were
driving along the highway to our weekend holiday house, and we were
blasting the Metallica, and my friendís dad who was driving was
getting so into it that he forgot to keep to the speed limit, so, of
course it happened that he got pulled over for speeding, music still
blasting. His dad simply said to the officer that he wasnít paying
attention because of the music. The police man just laughed and said
to be more careful, and that he had good taste! Lucky much!
272. True story, a pledge brother of mine asked me to drive
him to the bank after class one day to cash a check for him. After
sitting in the drive thru for an unusually long time, three police
cars sped into the bank parking lot and blocked me in. Turns out the
"friend" stole the check from his mom and forged it. The bank was
suspicious, called his mom, who sold him out so the bank called the
cops. I actually asked the teller to call my job and tell them what
was going on as they put me in the back of the police car and hauled
me into the station for questioning, which they actually did. I did
not get in trouble.
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