The Mother Of All Excuses Place

Police and Accident Excuses 201 and up


  1. So I'm driving to work (I'm late) and the police stop me for speeding so I told them that I fell down the stairs and hurt my ankle and that I was going to the hospital and couldn't control the pedal they let me off and told me next time call an ambulance.
  2. A relative who is a cop, pulled over a high school girl for speed. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Thinking this was yet another cry-her-way-out-of-it ploy, he told her there is no reason to be so upset. She insisted there was a reason. She told him she had been on a first date with a boy, then she opened her legs to reveal a flood of menstrual fluid that had soaked through her denim pants. He promptly handed back her papers and shouted, "GO!"
  3. Two guys obviously drunk were leaving a club in Athens Greece, just next to their parked car was a police van. When they where ready to get in to their car the policeman stopped them saying: "Hey, you can drive like that, you're drunk!" One of the man replies, "what are you talking about?", Policeman: "I'm saying that if you get into the car and attempt to drive I'm gonna have to arrest you!!" Man: "And how are we going to go home?" Policeman: "Walking". Man: "And do you think we are able walk in our condition?"
  4. My wife was in the process of passing a stone and doing 50-60 in a 40. Police officer lights her up about a block from the doctor's office she was going to and she keeps going to it. Once there and out of the car he looks at her and asks why she was doing at least ten if not twenty MPH over the limit. Her response? "Unless you want me to vomit all over your shoes, I'd suggest you move. NOW!" He moved, she ran inside, prayed to the porcelain goddess, came out and he waved at her and left.
  5. I was traveling down towards Miami FL on I-95 one night and was pulled over in West Palm Beach clocked at a speed of exactly 95mph in 55mph zone. The officer asked me for my license and other info and asked me if I know why he pulled me over. I answered that I was not sure why and he told me what my speed was. I replied that the little blue sign said 95mph limit on it so I drove it! The FHP officer laughed so hard he could hardly contain himself. He asked me if I was driving on I-295 in Jacksonville, would I try to go 295mph, or if I was on I-4 in Orlando would I creep along at 4mph? He then told me to get outta here before he changes his mind and to pay attention to the "white" speed limit signs and that the "blue" speed limit signs are actually road indicators! Of course to which I already knew genius!!! LOL
  6. One night back during my teen years, I and my best friend were traveling on I-4 just Southwest of Daytona Beach FL. We were in an older model Chevrolet Caprice Classic clocking about 125mph within a posted 55mph speed limit! An FHP officer from out of nowhere appears in the left hand lane (passing lane) and slowed to the same speed which we were going! He waved with a "watch this" look on his face as he stared at us two teen-aged boys in the car, stomped on the gas and left us in the dust as if we were standing still! He must of made it into Daytona long before we actually got the car slowed down to the speed limit. We were on out best behavior the rest of the night!
  7. I'm speeding because I have explosive diarrhea, I need to find a bathroom. They have to let you go for a medical emergency.
  8. My daughter borrowed my station wagon one day and proceeded to go through a stop sign. When she saw the police car do a U turn, she pulled over before the siren and lights were put on and had her window down by the time the RCMP officer walked up to her vehicle. As he stopped, she threw up her hands and said, "I can't believe I just did that!". He replied in a gruff voice, "Well, don't let it happen again", and walked away. It was then she noticed she had forgotten her purse and didn't even have her driver's license with her.
  9. If a cop pulls you over for speeding say, "I had a terrible night, I almost run over an old lady, got dumped by my girlfriend (or boyfriend...either way)" and then start to break out crying, it actually worked for me. :)
  10. A friend and I were driving down a long empty highway looking road, so my friend decides to be an idiot and drive in reverse, but going the right way. We got about two miles down the road, then a state trooper showed up. My friend had him following us for a half mile before stopping!! The officer walked up to the car and started yelling at my friend, then my friend goes "I'm sorry officer, I didn't see you in front of me!" I wanted to kick him in the head!! The cop arrested him for verbally harassing him, but took me to the station to get picked up by his brother, who by the way did not post bail!!
  11. When police arrived in Appleton, Wisconsin to remove a woman's children because of a complaint that she had given her 11-year-old daughter a "swirlie" (Holding her head in a flushing toilet). The woman reportedly said, "I haven't had a vacation in 13 years, go ahead and take them!"
  12. My friend and I once got pulled over after a night of drinking.. and the cop asked if we had been drinking. So I kinda laughed and said nope, then he says so you're not under the influence of anything? And I replied, "Officer the only thing influencing me is god.!" He looked at me and laughed. Then told me to be careful getting home.
  13. I was stuck by myself in serious traffic on the 10 Freeway, with the cars in the carpool lane just flying along. I jump in the carpool and then notice that there was a cop several cars behind me. I put my blinker on and get back in the fast lane. He pulls me over and I immediately act upset asking why he is pulling me over when that crazy guy tried to run me off the road. If that carpool lane wouldn't have been there I would have been in a major wreck. The cop let me go and actually apologized. HAHAHA.
  14. I had just gotten a new car, and it still had it's temporary license plates on it. It was a manual. I ran a red light on top of a hill and a cop pulled me over. I told him I wasn't very good at driving stick yet had I stopped uphill I would probably have rolled far enough backwards to hit the car behind me before I could go. He let me off.
  15. I just broke up with my boy friend give me a brake.
  16. Tell the officer that you have "the runs" really bad, and that if he doesn't believe you, he can come and "check." Grimace and wiggle as if you're trying to hold it in. However, you're on your own if he comes in and checks.
  17. This is a true story, it happened to my friends mom. she was pulled over for going 55 in a 35. The officer asked her where she was going in such a hurry and she said in her most pissed off voice, "I'm late for my weight watchers meeting, I haven't lost any weight this month and I'm so bloated right now I think I'm gonna explode." It turns out the officer had also been in the weight watchers program and told her that with an excuse like that it had to be true. She was let go with a verbal warning.
  18. I had just painted my truck and was driving home that night with my girl friend's kids buckled on the seat beside me. The slow driving van in front of me was missing the red tail light cover so the bulb was more blinding than normal because my windshield had a dried on paint spray mist. I gunned the truck (loud muffler and all) and began sailing past the the van (way over the speed limit and unable to hear anything over the muffler). I was suddenly surrounded in blue lights. Its amazing what paint fogged glass and a van beside you to reflect police lights can do! Anyway, the cop walks up asking my for papers and little girl with me holds her arms out and says to the cop, "I want a hug". I suspect the cops made up a "checking for drunk driver" reason on the spot and let me continue on my way after a breath test. I still haven't made up my mind if I can make deliberate use of this in the future.
  19. One night while on patrol, Sergeant Dave Hoffman of Naperville, IL saw a car sail through a red light without even slowing down. When he pulled the car over and asked the girl why she hadn't stopped, she told him she had just had her brakes repaired and it was so expensive that she didn't want to wear them down. She was given the ticket.
  20. John Ferguson of North College Hill P.D. in Ohio, stopped a car for speeding and asked the young lady why she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. She told him she was an exotic dancer and the seatbelt pinched her nipple rings and hurt. She offered to show Ferguson in case he didn't believe her. She was found guilty by a judge in court and he told her he didn't need to see the evidence.
  21. Although this didn't happen to him, officer Roope Letho of Espoo, Finland, relayed this excuse an older officer had once received: "I can't help it, constable. Someone has hypnotized me to park illegally!"
  22. When officer Gary Lenon of Mecosta County Sheriff Department pulled a car over for going 80 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, the driver explained that a bee had been flying around his head, so he sped up in hopes that the bee couldn't fly that fast and would be unable to fly out of the back seat area to get near him.
  23. Excuses 223 thru 231 are actual accident excuses turned in to an insurance company.

    Borrowed from the Bizarre News Letter.
  24. no I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.
  25. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
  26. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  27. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
  28. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
  29. I was trying to get out of the ambulance's way when I hit the pedestrian on the sidewalk.
  30. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
  31. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
  32. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
  33. My friend, Rich, a cop, stopped a man for speeding one night. He approached the car and asked, in his best Cop voice, "OK bud, where's the fire?" The speeder looked out the window at him and replied "Officer, my wife is getting pregnant and I want to be there when it happens!" Rich let the guy go.
  34. My friend (a.k.a. Lead-foot) gets pulled over by a deputy sheriff (originally coming from the opposite direction) in Rockwell, NC after whipping into the turning lane of Hwy 52 to blow past on old lady driving a white Buick. (He was going 50-60 in a 35) My friend gives the following excuse: "I'm so sorry officer... (starts crying... he was 16 at the time) But that lady pulled right out in front of me, I swerved into the turning lane to avoid an accident, and I sped around her because I just got my license and the whole thing made me panic. My parents just bought me this car, and now because of some old lady almost making me have a wreck, I'm going to get a ticket and my parents are going to kill me!!" The cop responded, "Aww, it's OK, son... You say that old lady was in a white Buick?" "Yes, sir." "Did you get her tag number?" "No, sir. I was too scared to think about that." "Well, son, if something like that happens again, just be sure to get their license number and we can make sure things are handled properly. Now you be safe and have a nice day." (I couldn't believe that the cop actually believed my friend!!)
  35. I was going down the road in a small town, and pulled up next to a good looking blonde, and wanted another look at her, as I was speeding up to get another look at her a cop pulls me over. The cop comes up to the car and asks me why I was speeding. I said, I was trying to catch the girl in that car, I said the bumper sticker said If I you can catch me you can have me. The cop said that was his sister, and I was like dang... He let me go with a warning.
  36. This is not really an excuse, but here it goes: I've had a verbal warning of speeding - on a bicycle! All right, the road was a narrow gravel road just outside a local suburb, allowed for motor vehicles, two ways, but with 30 km/h limit. I had a nice downhill coming up, and I was going to gain speed for that (I was used to riding that hill down as fast as possible). A motorcycle cop came to my side, then waved me to stop just before the downhill, and asked me if I knew how fast I was riding. I said no, I haven't got the meter, and he replied: "Boy, you were doing 42 in a slight uphill and facing the wind, and it clearly says 30 in that sign. The 50 limit begins from the asphalt coating under the hill, please ride below 30 until you're there." Gee, I still had to stand on the brake to do below 30 in that downhill. Luckily he didn't object to my having no lamp or reflectors.
  37. I just returned from the USA. They use miles there, and I got so used to it that when I returned the 100 kilometer sign I thought meant 100 miles.
  38. My friend owns a lime green car, and I mean LIME GREEN. I can spot his car from 20 miles away. So it always breaks down and something is always wrong with it. So one day is was running bad and his mom was following behind him incase the car broke down. Well, he was driving slower than usual to be careful. He got pulled over, with his mom following behind him, and he got a ticket for driving too slow!
  39. This isn't mush of an excuse. My father is a cop in the town of Elmore and I was in the car with him one day. He decided we would play a game with he dispatcher. He was "supposedly" pulling over a red Chevy pick up for reckless. Then he said " The driver seems to be driving much better now that a second head has popped up.
  40. I was in my Jeep with a friend. She saw another person we knew in his car in front of us. I took off from the stop sign we were at, speeding and flashing my headlights. Just then I saw a cop behind us, I knew I was done for. The cop pulled me over and the friend pulled over in front of us. The cop said he had a report of a Jeep mud bogging earlier. He asked if I had been in the mud, (being sarcastic in nature, and just waxing the Jeep) I leaned out the window and said, "Why, is it dirty?" He looked puzzled and just let us go, no questions asked. You should have seen the look on my friends face; she couldn't believe what I just said.
  41. I was pulled over by a Ma state trooper on a major highway that runs through a small town. I was going 80 when it was supposed to be 65... When he asked me if I knew why he pulled me over, all I said was " Well, this is my first time on the highway in my new car and it drives very different than my old one" (really I've had it for months and sped around everywhere in it, but the officer didn't need to know that). He then asked me what I used to drive and when I told him what it was, he actually agreed with me on how different they were! I don't think he's ever driven either one himself because they drive almost exactly the same! I got off with a warning and a compliment for "handling the new car so well" ha ha
  42. I was had just gotten off from work and was driving into town to see my girlfriend. An officer pulled me for speeding, and as he walked up to the car, I was thinking of something to say. When he asked why I was speeding, I said "Officer! My wife's in labor and having a baby! I'm trying to get her to the hospital!" The officer leaned into the car and said, "But, there's no one in the car with you, sir." So, I yelled, "Oh, no!" I put the car in gear, did a complete 180 degree turn, I drove as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I looked in the rear view mirror, expecting to the officer chasing me, but all I saw was him standing in the middle of the road, shaking his head.
  43. A cop polled me over and he said that I had just ran a red light and I said that I just got these new contacts that made everything look green, and he let me go with a warning.
  44. Shopping for my wife's birthday present, I had to change my son's diaper in the Mall Parking Lot. When I was speeding back home, turned out I was speeding enough to draw a cop's attention. As I pulled over, took the diaper out of the diaper bag, opened it, and placed it on the floor beneath my seat. It was pretty rank. The cop leaned into the window and staggered back quickly. "Sorry, officer. We're toilet training the kid, and he's at the stage where he only goes potty in his own bathroom. I was trying to get home before he messed, but it's too late now. " He let me go.
  45. This happened to my mom once when she was on her way back home after a week in Indiana. She was doing 87 in a 55. Needless to say, a cop managed to see her but he only clocked her at around 77 because she saw him before he clocked her. He pulled her over and asked her the usual questions. As he started to write her ticket out my mom goes " well kids, I guess we aren't going out to eat after all". The cop looked on the floor in the passenger seat, saw an open bag of Doritos and an open box of cereal. He looked at my mom and said "mam, kids live off of that stuff, I don't think you have anything to worry about" needless to say she still got the ticket.
  46. Not exactly an excuse... A friend took me on a road trip two states away while I was in the navy. My friend never drove his car at the posted speed limit. On the 55mph freeway, he did 50. On the way back, about 2 am, I was seriously starting to worry we wouldn't get back in time. So I talked him into taking a nap in the back while I drove. I kept it at 53 until he started to snore, then took off. I'm not sure what speed I was doing when I blew past the highway patrol, but it was up around 75 to 80. Knowing I was caught, I took foot off the gas and started coasting down. Suddenly, a sports car came up from behind, doing in the range of 100 mph. He passed the cop, then passed me, no sign of slowing. Cop pulled into the passing lane to go after this guy. I started to breathe easier when the cop pulled up alongside. He made eye contact, pointed to me, and flashed his hand 5 - 5. I nodded soberly, and he went off after Super Speeder. When my friend awoke, I was doing 51 just about to take our exit. We made it barely in time.
  47. Well working for a funeral home in Australia. I was pulled over transporting a particularly smelly body. I was pulled over because the car I was in was similar to one used in a ram raid. The policeman on his first ever shift being eager to please his older offsider pulled me out of the car and started the usual drill that you would receive as a suspected ram raider. He then wanted to inspect my car. Unfortunately not checking my rego he had no idea to the cargo and was fortunate enough to see his first dead body. That had been in the water for to weeks and not only smelled but was deformed by the fishes. The end result after helping his partner drag this poor cop who was now past out on the ground to his car, was a stern warning to not ever open the back of the car in his presence again. lol the eagerness of youth.
  48. When I was younger, in High School, I always took a school bus to school; itís about 10 miles through suburban Philadelphia. One clear sunny early spring morning, while stopped at a 4 way Stop sign on the way to school, a car made a sharp turn in front of the bus and hit it almost head on... no injuries, he was only going about 5 MPH or so. It was made into a big deal though, with all the parents coming to the accident scene after hearing of it on TV and radio - fearing the worse for their kids. Anyway... The PA State trooper that had responded to the accident asked the car driver what had happened, he said "I didn't see it". The entire community that had surrounded this guy started laughing... we're talking about a 50 foot long "School Bus Yellow" vehicle....what an idiot. PS, I didn't have to go to school that day :-)
  49. I got pulled over on my way to work (yes, I was speeding but that's beside the point). When the sheriff asked me if I was running late, I answered, "Yes. I'm scheduled to do a presentation today." When asked what the presentation was about, I lowered my voice and said "Time management." He burst out laughing, shook his head, and after telling me to "Just slow it down a bit ok?" He let me go.
  50. Officer - Do you know why I stopped you ? Driver - Do I get a ticket if I guess right. Officer - You will still get a ticket. Driver - I don't want to play nymore.
  51. I had just bought a new Fiat, and was letting it loose on a stretch of road marked as 35 - I was doing 60 easy. Cop pulls me over and wants to know if I knew how fast I was going. I replied "35". He says, no, you were doing over 60. I pointed at the tachometer and told him "That dial said I was going 35." The cop's jaw dropped, and he said, "Lady, do you know the difference between a tachometer and a speedometer?" I played dumb, listed to his little lesson on the difference between the two, and wound up with no ticket and a date for that Friday!
  52. Driving home late one night a police patrol pulled me over. The officer came to the window with ticket book in hand and proceeded ask me with a smug look " did you know you had no tail lights at all?". thinking as quick as I could I replied " well officer as I don't follow myself around when I am driving I had no idea that my tail lights were out". The officer was dumbfounded and could not utter a word for a good thirty seconds. Finally he said " Mate I never heard such a logical explanation in my life, I will follow you home and make sure you get new bulbs in the morning". So confused was he that he failed to check any other details, If he had things would have been slightly worse!!
  53. One night me and a bunch of my friends were out driving in one of those new Maxima that just came out. We saw a straight stretch of road and my friend decided to step on it and before we knew it a local cop had us clocked at 130 mph. in a 55. At that point we attempted to out run him since he had to cross the median to get to us. We turned up the only road close by and attempted to park and turn off the lights when we realized it was the Byrne's Mill police station. At that point we knew we were busted.
  54. Horry County South Carolina, DUI checkpoint and I just got into town for work coming from Florida. But just bought my house in North Carolina, so I had Florida license with North Carolina tags. I got stopped by 6 cops at this check point and all 6 cops came over to the car and asked the same damn question. "Is this a stolen vehicle?" And I responded "What a chick can't own a hot rod?" Cops walks away and one officer comes back and say mam step out the vehicle. They make me go to the back of the car and I was like I'm dead now. He says "You know what I'm writing you up for?" and I was like "No, I'm not doing anything wrong." he says "Working in South Carolina and not having South Carolina License." And here I am thinking to myself. "How is that possible when I reside in North Carolina?" $100 ticket that I went to court for... I even went to DMV and they refused to issue me a license because I had no residence with the state. So I asked if they would write an excuse so I can show the Judge. Well they refused. They told me they couldn't do that and I was like whatever. Finally, sitting in court this guy who gives his son drugs and driving under the influence is before me. Here comes my turn and the Judge calls me up there. First time in court ever in my life. I told the Judge "You can throw me in jail but I'm not paying this bogus ticket." And the Judge was like "You want to go to jail, I'll throw in jail." and here I am now crying , balling my eyes out, shaking, nervous as heck and I said "Okay , If you find it in the law I'll pay the fine" Judge and 4 other officers reading the law book for about hour and here I am squirming around because I have to pee... So, I say to the Judge "Can we hurry this up? I can't hold it much longer." and the Judge was like "Okay, I have to let you go but I know the law is in there." lol...I was so happy to get out of there.
  55. I was driving from Omaha, Nebraska on my way up to Newbern, New York. I finally get to my destination without being pulled over. This was such a small town and I couldn't even find one place to eat or even a hotel. So here I am driving in circles up and down the street. ( Mind you I have a White Samoan Husky sleeping in the car at the time) A cops pull me over and asked if I stole my car. Here I am already in an irate mood from driving 3 days straight no sleep and that I didn't want to deal with their sarcasms. So I yelled at them. "Does it look like I can steal a car? (I'm only 4'11 and 83 pounds). I'm just looking for a hotel and place to eat"...So, the officer was like "Okay, mam calm down it's just straight down the street about 3 blocks". As he's about to leave he turns around and asked me "You didn't happen to steal a polar bear from the zoo now did you?" and I yell at him in irate tone and said "You don't know the difference between a bear and dog?"..I was so ready to about to blow my top and the cop could see my face that he just let me go and told me to have a nice day and to get rest...;p That day I'm surprised I didn't get arrested with the hell I gave those officers. Hehe Don't mess with a blonde when they have an empty stomach and no sleep or shower or no make up...;p
  56. A friend and I were pulled over in Statesville, NC for supposedly crossing the yellow line. My buddy who was driving the vehicle was asked whether we had any weapons in the vehicle. My friend then responded nah, we left them at home with all the drugs. The officer did not take kindly to his comment, and introduced his head to the hood of the vehicle, and his ass to a royal chewing. In the end we were left go with a warning.
  57. My boyfriend was on his way home from work one night and was pulled over for speeding. When the officer asked what the rush was, my boyfriend told him he had to go to the bathroom really bad and couldn't wait. The police let him go and even followed him to the nearest store to make sure he was going there!
  58. Police excuses I've used that worked: My friend is OD-ing, I'm trying to help the ambulance find her house so I had to get there fast. My contact fell out and I was trying to put it back in. (faking distressed breathing) I'm having an asthma attack... do you... have an inhaler... I'm late for work and I needed an excuse, so I floored it when I saw you. I just got the oil changed, and it was WAY overdue. So now I'm running a good 15hp over what I was, and I'm trying to get used to it... Damn! I JUST got a ticket from the last guy! (actually got away from that one because of it)
  59. My husband and I worked for the carnival for nearly 10 years, each night after closing a large group of us always jump in the truck to go to the store. My husband was riding shotgun, and our friend Toad was driving the truck. On the way home from the store. A local police officer in St. Joseph Mo pulled us over to let us know that neither of our break lights were working. After a bit of discussion the police officer decided he was going to write Toad a warning ticket. To this my husband replied in drunk manner (acting) "You can't talk to my friend Toad like that, not when he's been drinking. Tell him Toad (in a very hickish voice). The police officer seeing our carnival work shirts smiled dropped his head and told us to be on our way without so much as even the warning ticket.
  60. My cousin Tanya was driving me to a party back when we were teenagers. Now you have to know Tanya she's a true blond and bleach on top. LOL Anyway we were driving along and a cop gets in behind us. Well she speeds up and passes the car in front of us. The cop in turn came around the car as well. So Tanya again speeds up and passes the car in front of her. Now she's the lead car on this backwoods road. Having already turned his lights on he turns his siren on. So she pulls over. He then walks up to the door with Gun drawn. Now a bit of info the driver window will not go down. So she goes to open the door. Well he puts his foot against the door tells her to stay in the car. Long story short we end up with our faces on the ground. After a bit of time she explains to the police officer that she saw him behind her but thought he was after the car in front of her. When he followed she thought for sure he was after the other car so she went around to give him room to pull him over. And the only reason she pulled over was because she thought he was in a hurry and needed to go by. They (now about 10 officers) all laughed heartedly in a crowd about 10 feet away from us and un cuffed us and let us go.. The funny part is it wasn't an Act! She really thought he was in a hurry to get someone else! Because she told me right before the cop pulled us over "Somebody must have got robbed."
  61. True story, once my Dad was pulled over for SPEEDING about 90 in a 60 mph zone on a Oklahoma highway, when the the cop got up to the car, he ask Dad young man what is your problem , you were going over 90 mph, My dad said officer my dad who I have not seen in 15 yrs is dying and I wanted to get there to see him before he passes, The Cop said son every one has excuses, but some how I believe you, but I am still going to give you a warning, and on that warning it says, not putting on your landing lights before coming in for a landing.
  62. One night while drinking at home I received a phone call from a female friend wanting me to come over, so I hoped in the car and headed out, quite drunk. I turned left at the light onto a four lane road, directly into the far lane to make the next right hand turn. I was pulled over by a female officer, who proceeded to give a sobriety test. When I got out of the car, I realized my zipper was down, so I proceeded to cover myself during the testing. The officer asked me why I was covering my crotch, and I responded "Well mam, your a female and my fly is down. I'm a little embarrassed." She smiled and sent me on my way.
  63. At the time I am writing this it is about 2007 month of march. about 25 years ago, my friend and I where traveling thru the nearby state park at about 50-60 mile per hour. The posted speed limit for the entire state park was 25. Of course we got caught speeding, a new Sheriff and his older training officer walked up to the window. Now there is background that I have to give you to make the rest of this make sense to you. My friend who was 16 had been working at the local county airport for about 2 years working for flying lessons. he washed planes, fueled them up and among other things moved them. back to the Sheriff, where in the younger Sheriff asked my friend for his "polits lic." Without missing a beat, my friend opened his wallet and pulled out his solo polits to the Sheriff. He stops about half way back to the squad car and looks at the ID. This puzzled look comes over him and the older Sheriff asks him what is wrong, he shows the solo polit license to the Sheriff and he starts to howl. About this time the older Sheriff says, you get what you ask for. It took a few moments, but he came back said : " Slow down, have a nice day, I will never ask that again. " gave back the ID. Now, that only works if you have the right license!
  64. I am English and this happened just after I had passed my driving test. I was driving my father's car back from Heathrow Airport - he drove there and I was bringing his car back home. It was the first time I had driven on a motorway and I was going round the M25. A thunderstorm started and I knew there were no service stations but had no idea where the next exit was. So I stopped on the hard shoulder, with my hazards going. It is actually illegal to stop on a motorway unless you are broken down. Then a policeman was knocking on my window, asking what the problem was. I explained that I am absolutely terrified of thunderstorms and felt it was not safe for me to drive with my eyes closed! He said that he would check on me the next time he drove past! The storm passed a little later and I drove home safely - without seeing the police again!!!
  65. My sister was leaving from her sister-in-lawís house traveling on the 110 freeway in California. She said she was driving the speed limit when suddenly she was pulled over. She could not figure out why she was pulled until the Sheriff approached the window and asked her for her phone number. She was appalled and told him no thank you. Even though it wasnít quite an excuse she could have still received a ticket when she declined.
  66. A Montana State University chemistry professor claimed in March that he was wrongfully accused of being drunk after an accident (which occurred while he was on work-release for a previous (drunk driving sentence). While a state trooper found him "highly intoxicated," the professor said a chemical explosion in his lab caused him to smell and act drunk and that his statement to the trooper about having consumed a six-pack of beer was merely incoherent babbling" because of the trauma of the accident.
  67. This is my story about being pulled over. I was coming home from a Christmas party, at the hospital I was working for. At the party, there was (of course), Christmas music. So I got on Rt. 37 and I admit was speeding. Next thing I know, red and blue lights, and big spotlights in my rear view mirror. I promptly pulled over. I told the officer, the truth about coming back from a Christmas party. There was music on my (car) radio, and I really was not paying attention to my speed. Being at a party, the cop asked "have you been drinking?" I said "yes sure. I was drinking......Pepsi.: I could see a smile come across his face. He went back to his car, and brought back a warning. He said that in 15 years of being on the force that was the best answer he ever had.
  68. Acey612 writes: ďMy day job is as a police officer for the city where I live. We are a smaller town, but since we are 10 minutes from the beach, we have a lot of traffic. I normally lead my department in citations per month, but I wanted to provide viewers with the top 5 ways to get OUT of a ticket.Ē 1. Donít Argue. If you feel you are innocent, donít argue your point with the officer. Maybe you are innocent, who knows? But even if you are, thatís what COURT is for. Arguing with the officer on the side of the road wonít do anything to help you, and if you make the officer mad, he/she will probably find something else to write you for. 2. Honesty. In a perfect world, no one would break the law. However, if you are driving with a suspended license, no license, no insurance, ect. and the officer asks you about itÖ Donít lie. There are many offenses that you can be written a ticket for, or go to jail over. This is left up to the discretion of the officer, and if someone is honest to me, I try to give them as many breaks as I can. 3. Donít flirt. Contrary to popular belief, flirting will not get you out of a ticket. I have had girls AND guys try this. Itís insulting, and most officers will give you a ticket when you try it. (Also bear in mind that 90% of all traffic stops are on digital video AND audio, donít embarrass yourself.) 4. No Excuses. Even if you have a valid excuse, donít offer one. Just follow the officerís commands and provide the needed documentation. We normally respect people who donít try to obviously get out of a ticket by using excuses. I have heard all of them. FYI, if you say you were in a hurry because your uncle is in the hospital, we will call the hospital to verify your story. If youíre lying, it donít look good. 5. Obey the Law. Alright, you knew this one was coming. I have given you some good tips, but none of them are fail safe. A lot of discretion is left to police officers on whether you are cited or not. Each officer is different, and may have a different policy on things than I do. Since getting, or not getting a ticket relies on your behavior, as well as the officer that stopped you, the only PROVEN way to get out of a ticket is to obey the law. Donít speed, and wear you seatbelt. No one likes being pulled over, but believe it or not, traffic laws are enforced for your safety. I have worked many wrecks that were caused just because someone wasnít obeying a simple traffic law. The bottom line is, we are here to help you, and keep you safe.
  69. Here is an excuse that I used on a Austin, Tx. police officer that did not work... I was stopped for running a red light as I was In the intersection and the officer asked me, "Do you know what to do when you see a yellow light?" My reply was "Yes., You go like hell cause It's gonna turn red". Needless to say that one got me a ticket...
  70. My husband, step-daughter and I were going to visit family at the Jersey Shore and my husband had to use the washroom. As we were almost there, I sped up a little through the small town where the speed limit was 25 mph. I was going 45 when I passed a cop sitting in the median. Seeing the out of country plates (Ontario, Canada), he immediately stopped us. As soon as he came to the window I explained that I was sorry, but my husband had a "potty emergency" and we weren't sure how far before we could get to my sister-in-law's place where they were staying. As I handed him my license, registration and insurance, I could see him in the rear view mirror walking back to the cruiser, talking into his radio and laughing. He obviously couldn't stop grinning as he came back to the car and asked me to please slow down a little and directed us to the right street and said "Have a nice day, ma'am!". Still laughing he walked back to his cruiser. But I didn't get a ticket! Whew!
  71. Tell the copÖ. My friend called and said he just saw my wife cheating on me, I gotta get to the house before the guy leaves!
  72. Not an excuse but an awesome story, not sure if this officer did the right thing or not, butÖ. My friends and I were driving along the highway to our weekend holiday house, and we were blasting the Metallica, and my friendís dad who was driving was getting so into it that he forgot to keep to the speed limit, so, of course it happened that he got pulled over for speeding, music still blasting. His dad simply said to the officer that he wasnít paying attention because of the music. The police man just laughed and said to be more careful, and that he had good taste! Lucky much!
  73. True story, a pledge brother of mine asked me to drive him to the bank after class one day to cash a check for him. After sitting in the drive thru for an unusually long time, three police cars sped into the bank parking lot and blocked me in. Turns out the "friend" stole the check from his mom and forged it. The bank was suspicious, called his mom, who sold him out so the bank called the cops. I actually asked the teller to call my job and tell them what was going on as they put me in the back of the police car and hauled me into the station for questioning, which they actually did. I did not get in trouble.

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Madtbone


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